Pure Boys: A Heartland Podcast

Malibu Dan is dead. Long live Malibu Dan! "Hitting the Breaks" is about washed up race car driver who inherits a hotel his dad owned in a podunk Colorado town. Will we learn any of the characters names? Not the ones played by former Malibu Dan actors. So get ready for confusion as Malibu Dan, Holliday Sinclair, Reggie, Arlen, The blonde who loved Dan's Dad and fricking CHUCK FROM ACCOUNTING head o...

ONLY AT PAPA JOHN'S!! What's your favourite 2 topping combo? Enjoy medium 2 topping pizzas for only $12 each ONLY AT PAPA JOHN'S!! Add an order of our original 10" cheesesticks and a 2L pop for only $8.50 more ONLY AT PAPA JOHN'S!! Get 3 large specialty or up to 5 topping pizzas for only $49 ONLY AT PAPA JOHN'S!! Enjoy 2 medium specialty or up to 5 topping pizzas for only $30 ONLY AT PAPA JOHN'S!!...

SERIES FINALE BAYBEE!!! As the lord Jesus Christ once said "It is finished" We frickin did it! Finally after all these months of struggle and laughs, we've made it to the series finale of Malibu Dan. Guess what? His parents get back together. Big whoop. Dan's mom is an overbearing, awful woman who could not care less about the concerns and struggles her husband is going through. All she cares abou...

If you wanna be a Ponysitter, you gotta be TOUGH! Yahweh Fudgepackers! Cowgirl Summer rolls on! The boys watch a great flick this week. The title is long so you just look at it. I'm not writing it again. Will all the fair stuff happen? It's a kids movie so duh DOI it will pureboyspodcast@gmail.com or @pureboyspodcast on Twitter Rate us 5 stars on Apple Podcasts 

SERIES FINALE pt 1!!! THANK GOD! We made it. We're finally here. After 22 weeks of Malibu Dan we finally reached the end and wouldn't you know it... we barely talk about the episode! Dan's dad is divorcing his mom so he can get with some young piece of tail. But that girl is engaged to someone else! Also Dan's mom shows up and she is a total DIME!  They mention Luke Bryan so much in this episode w...

Stop @ing us. The title of the movie is NOT Storm Dancer it's CLEARLY Storm Rider. Get your whole life together ya jabroni! We pop our K "mouth fulla" Sorbs cherry and then mash it into wine with this wack ass movie. Honestly this movie was a bore but we do our best to find the fun in the whole situation! Plus we agree with another K Sorbs tweet. I feel like if we agree with too many K Sorbs tweet...

Dan and Big Farty Marty Dankles are at it again. BFMD has got in Dan's head that his masculinity is being challenged AGAIN. Literally for the third time. BFMD is such a 1 note character. I haiti him. He's actively trying to ruin Dan's marriage. Oh well. Honestly we recorded this a while ago and I don't really remember what we talked about so good luck! Yeah I could listen back but why would I do t...

Yeeeeee HAWWWW Fudgepackers! After a brief detour into some classics from Hollyweird, Zach and Johnny are back doing what they do best... talkin bout Cowgirl Movies! Sonny is a little crippled (the movies words) girl who loves Ginger, a full on horse. With the help of Ben, owner of Ben Taylor's Friggin Ranch, can she heal her busted leg and learn to ride Ginger? Yeah duh PLUS the Kevin Sorbo Tweet...

"Bustin makes me feel good!" - Britt Marlin famed female poet. Put these women on islands! We share our childhood trauma! Apparel is Haiti's number 1 export! The Wake Up Malibu crew is going to be on the front page of a New York newspaper. For some reason? Why would anyone in New York care about a Malibu morning show? Why does Bam think this will bring viewers to their 5 am morning show? Why are w...

CHONNNNNNNNNNN WAAAAAAANNNNNGGG! What's up fudgepackers and welcome to a very special BONUS EPISODE of Pure Boys We riffed about Wild Wild West in our Rodeo & Juliet episode, then riffed about Shanghai Noon during our Wild Wild West episode and now we're here. We riff about The Quick and the Dead in this episode so MAYBE we'll do a bonus episode about that one too. Maybe? Zach has to massage J...

Now THIS is a Cowgirl Summer!  Zach bullied Johnny into doing Wild Wild West and what a treat it was! Will Smith's Balls, Salma Hayek's Butt, Bai Ling's Butt, Botticelli's buttocks! This movie HAS! IT! ALL! It's Wild Wild West, if you know you know. Wiki Wiki Wild Zach forgot to mention "Footloose" as one of Kenny Loggins soundtrack hits. Zach deeply regrets this mistake. pureboyspod@gmail.com or...

Bermuda, Bahamas, cum on pretty mamas. Also how adorable is it that when Zach said Aruba, both their minds went to Kokomo. What a couple of cuties

YAAAHHHH WEHHHHH!!! This is probably the least good movie we've watched so far in Cowgirl Summer TM. But Yes I Super Picky TM so what do you expect? New segment alert! Zach brings some new freaky energy to the show with his new sexy segment. Does he steamroll the show again? You bet! This movie is sloppy as heck. The plot just leaves threads dangling worse than my saddle sore behind. Rodeo is a fr...

Rock Hudson (1925-1985) Freddie Mercury (1946-1991) Anthony Perkins (1932-1992) Arthur Ashe (1943-1993) Eazy-E (1964-1995) Liberace (1919-1987) Slitcherace (2001-2021) We love you! Happy Canada Day! Don't die of Aids this year! pureboyspod@gmail.com @pureboyspodcast on Twitter

YAAAAAAAHHH WEEEEHHHHH! If you loved "Hope's Legacy" you'll kind of like "Christmas Ranch"! In this Prequel, Lizzy is a "bad girl" who gets sent to live with her Grandma over the Christmas break (but then also beyond that because FRICK SCHOOL!) There she meets Hope (a horse who just won't eat) and James (the boy next door with a butt that just won't quit). Will they fall in love and save the ranch...

Strap in for the saddest Malibu Dan episode yet! Arlen's life is SO SAD. He's alone and while he doesn't mind being alone, he's tired of being lonely. Oh god Arlen. Arlen turns 50 and has the most depressing birthday imaginable. It honestly would have been better if NOTHING happened on his birthday. That would have been infinitely better than what actually happens. I don't want to spoil anything f...

The best thing about being a cowgirl... is getting to see a  BIG! HORSE! DONGER! Lizzy inherited her dead grandma's ranch and wants to compete in Horsie Triathalon! But first she needs the help from Glammother (Golden Globe and 3 time Academy Award Nominated Dyan Cannon), her grandma's best friend (even though she didn't live in the same country so how close could they have actually been?). Her ma...

Respect ya neck! Big up yaself! Chet Hanks in da house (not really but we did record this shortly after Chet released his famous "White Boy Summer" video)!  BU BU BU!  If you love borderline offensive Jamaican accents and Yizz talk than THIS episode is for YOU! Zach and Johnny go off the rails and barely talk about the wackiest episode of Malibu Dan yet. But hey, their Yizz Empire grows larger so...

YEEEE HAW this one isn't really about Cowgirls at all. But there is horses and girls riding and loving horses so close enough! Misty is a horse that is played by Halle Bopp (also a horse) and gets her name in the opening credits. Does she have a SAG card now? Who knows! Amanda loves Misty and wants her to do well. She wants to be a horse jumper. She wants to not end up alone and sad like Charolett...

New sets, Old sets! So much bedroom action! Kate in a nightie! Holliday Sinclair is a real character now! Malibu Dan "Reloaded" is a real treat (disclaimer... we're referring to the back half of the season as "Reloaded" because it IS a different show). Kate doesn't know anything about her husband and can't buy him gifts. She also is too lazy to make supper so she just puts out a salad. Shame. We b...

The best thing about being a 15 year old washout gymnast... is getting to have a COWGIRL SUMMER!!! YEEEHAWWWW Samantha (Sam if you're nasty) Wick is a washout gymnast who's grandma sends her to Black River Summer Camp (a real place).  https://www.blackriverfarmandranch.com/ There she learns not to be a total B to everyone and how to perform Horse Vaulting which is just gymnastics on a horse. But t...

Head to our OnlyFans for the hottest feet pics in the hottest jars of Yizz. Yes this is real. We are actually selling feet pics in jars of Yizz. You decide what Yizz iz. If you Haiti that idea you can get fricked. We're trying to retire by 35 and how else are we gonna make a milli? Hard work? Get Fricked Bud! Pure Flix hit us up anytime for that sponsorship We love you! Also Malibu Dan the actual...

YEEEEE HAW!!! That's right it's Cowgirl Summer on Pure Boys! We're watching cowgirl movies all summer long so what better one to start with than this one who's title is too long and complicated to type out twice. The good news is that it's the perfect template for all cowgirl movies so I'll just be copying and pasting this write up for each episode. Easy work for me! [Girls Name] is a [rodeo perfo...

Zach was thinking of Robert Wagner who played Number Two in the Austin Powers franchise in regards to the actor who might have murdered his wife. Sorry Michael York, you're beautiful! Did you know they built a robot that you can sexually harass? Head over to our Twitter page and scroll back to April 7th to see the tweet we posted about it. That's right... we recorded this episode almost 2 months a...

Boo! Maydea comes to an explosive conclusion with this week's episode. Explosive in my pants knowwhatimsayin?  The Pure Boys welcome a very special guest to the show. One of the hosts of The Terror Table (a much more successful podcast) Buzi! We figured that he hosts a horror movie podcast so who better to come on and talk about the spookiest, scariest, sexiest (?) Madea movie yet?!  This is your...