Psychology to Live By

In Part 1 of the ‘Imposter Syndrome’ we focused on the nature of healthy and unhealthy perfectionism. In this second podcast we focus on solutions: ways to change our thinking, ways to set more realistic goals, and ways to share our concerns with others to escape the mental trap that is the imposter syndrome. Being better than perfect means not being as much driven by fear of social judgment. It’s...

In the first podcast on the imposter syndrome we saw that perfectionism can be healthy or unhealthy. In the second we investigated ways to develop perfectionistic strivings – the healthy, curious immersion in improving our skills and knowledge. In this Roundtable participants discussed a wide range of implications: the impact of social media on teenager perfectionistic concerns; strategies for par...

It’s always been a bit of a puzzle for me: is perfectionism a good or a bad thing? Well, somewhat predictably, it turns out to be both. In Part 1 of 'The Imposter Syndrome' we explore the nature of perfectionism and the imposter syndrome. At the heart of unhealthy perfectionism is unrealistic standards and goals and an unhealthy focus on self. Unless something is 100% perfect it is perceiv...

Our genetic code predisposes us to be pretty hypervigilant. We overestimate danger in order to be on the safe side of things. But our modern environment is so much safer than our ancestral home for which we were designed! So, we often worry that our worries are in fact disproportionate: that we are catastrophizing, exaggerating, being overly pessimistic or just plain illogical. One of the things w...

The main theme of the podcast is that our genetic code predisposes us to be pretty hypervigilant. But our modern environment is so much safer than our ancestral home for which we were designed! So, we often worry that our worries are in fact disproportionate. The first thing we can do is accept this disproportionality with equanimity, and then we can cultivate more useful mentalities. Questions ex...

In Part 2 of 'Creating Psychological Safety in Teams' it is suggested that the most important thing in supporting your people to ‘win at work’ is helping them to move towards their work goals and aspirations. The means for this are: 1. good ‘catalysts’, for example by providing clear goals, relative autonomy, resources etc, and 2. providing regular ‘nourishers’ (trust, respect etc) that cr...

This Roundtable begins with a brief summary of the second podcast in this series, 'How to Create' psychological safety. Essentially, it comes down to old-fashioned management, enabling people to have small wins continuously on personally meaningful work by providing both practical and emotional resources. Topics discussed included: how to shift a person with a 'big ego' to a positi...

In Part 1 of Creating Psychological Safety in Teams we see that teamwork is perhaps the defining feature of our species and that leveraging it is the pathway to sustainable high performance. We’ll also see that emotional fortitude is created by teams facing meaningful challenges together in an atmosphere of mutual trust, respect and autonomy where people feel they can simply be themselves. A key t...

This Roundtable begins with a summary of the first podcast of the series in which a strong case for psychological safety is made. Put succintly, psychological safety is a necessary ingredient in sustained high performance because it is very good for us physically and emotionally, and enhances collaboration and results in less stress. Topics discussed included: 'practical idealism' (a notio...

This is a series of podcasts that explores the many benefits of being Self-Less. In this final podcast of this series, we look at how we might go about practising self-compassion. We explore Kristin Neff’s formulation of self-compassion practice. She defines it as involving three elements -  Mindfulness or present-focused, non-judgemental awareness. Common Humanity - the understanding that on...

This Roundtable explores issues arising from the podcast 'Building Self-Compassion' (this is the final of four podcasts in the 'Self-Less Series'). We begin with a brief summary of the podcast, then questions explored in the Roundtable include: Is it possible to develop self-compassion to the point where I no longer get triggered?; The effectiveness of time out or some relaxing bre...

This is a series of podcasts that explores the many benefits of being Self-Less. In this third podcast of the series we turn our attention to self-compassion. We look at why self-compassion can be harder for people to cultivate and why it is so very helpful to do so. Many people resist this idea of self-compassion, thinking it implies self-pity, indulgence, self-centeredness, or even selfishness....

This Roundtable explores issues arising from the podcast 'Why Self Compassion?' (this is the third of four podcasts in the 'Self-Less Series'). We begin by outlining some of the reasons that people resist self-compassion and then examine the main reasons it is actually a very good idea, summarising the benefits of self-compassion. Questions explored in the Roundtable include: shoul...

This is a series of podcasts exploring the many benefits of being Self-Less.  In part one we saw that being compassionate does not fatigue us, but in fact it rejuvenates us, even when we are feeling low. In this second episode of this series, we’ll explore a number of ways we can build this capacity for compassion including practising loving-kindness meditation; taking opportunities for prosocial...

This Roundtable explores issues arising from the podcast 'Building Compassion' (this is the second of four podcasts in the 'Self-Less Series'). We summarise why people may resist being deliberately compasionate and then outline a variety of ways it can be developed. The Roundtable explores neuroplasticity - how we become what we do - and also how this leads to a distinction between...

This is a series of podcasts that explores the many benefits of being Self-Less.  The first here examines the ways in which being compassionate is good for us. Somewhat counter-intuitively, when we are feeling depleted or low, being compassionate to others is rejuvenating.  Among other things we explore how compassion begins with, but doesn’t end with empathic feelings, how it is not rea...

This Roundtable explores issues arising from the podcast 'Do Yourself A Kindness' which is about the benefits of compassion (this is the first of four podcasts in the 'Self-Less Series'). We begin with the fact that compassion not only does not fatigue us, but rejuvenates us. We explore the complexities of not slipping into empathic distress when supervising others who are distress...

This podcast explores our universal need for Social Esteem: we need and desire to be valued by others. This esteem is very valuable, and we trade on it in many ways. But a problem arises when we try to be interesting: it’s actually very unappealing. It turns out the wise strategy is to be interested in others and to treat them with kindness and attention. The benefits for the recipient are conside...

This Roundtable explores issues arising from the  Be Interested  podcast which explores our universal need for Social Esteem. Central to the podcast is the problem that arises when we try to be interesting: it’s actually very unappealing. It turns out that the wise strategy is to be interested in others and to treat them with kindness and attention. Discussions in the Roundtable explore the amplif...

In ‘Cultivating the Art of Deep Work Part 3’ we examine ways to use work for wellbeing.  Our body, especially our brain, is built to modulate its activities.  It is not meant to be constantly ‘on’.  We are designed to rest between tasks, to reset our systems and then to re-engage.   One method to support this is Adam Fraser’s use of ‘Third Spaces’ to reflect, rest and re-set between tasks.  We als...

This Roundtable discusses the ‘Art of Deep Work Part 3' podcast on work and wellbeing. It was a stimulating discussion including: the power of habit as being intrinsic to practising Third Spaces as an antidote to habits of anxiety and worry so often attached to work; the importance of psychological boundaries for 'people pleasers' in order to establish work life integration; a unique T...

In ‘Cultivating the Art of Deep Work Part 2’ we begin with reducing distraction and (alleged) multitasking. Strategies include reducing attempts to multitask; turning off notifications and devices; and calling a meeting at work called ‘making war on distraction’. We then explore how to better prioritise what is important but not yet urgent and simultaneously reduce work that is merely urgent.  Fin...

This Roundtable discusses the ‘Cultivating the Art of Deep Work - Parts 1 & 2' podcasts. It was a wide-ranging discussion including: the importance of replacing busyness with deep work, and a busy mind with a strong mind; a discussion about how 'what I like to do' can be elevated in priority because it sustains one's wellbeing and productive cpability; the ubiquitous nature of...

This is a three-part series of short talks on the theme of modern life and work, exploring the challenges of productivity, distraction, prioritisation, deep work and working for wellbeing. In the first part we start with productivity and the curse of busyness. Productivity is about managing your time, energy and attention and most people feel they could do better in response to these questions: Ar...

We all have a natural drive to seek positive esteem.  It is written into our source code.  This podcast examines ways to derive more lasting happiness and self-esteem by understanding the drive and utilising it more wisely. The truth is we are all, on average, average on most things. But we have a superiority bias where we tend to over-rate ourselves on most things. The word average, has...