Professional Contestants

To be honest, we kinda feel like we got tricked by this show. It's supposed to be a reality competition show, but like, its trying to be a spooky drama too? All the contestants know it isn't real, but they still act like they believe it? Well you know what, we'll simplify all this a bit. Let's give em' something to talk about, how bout' a real life monster house. Zach makes some startling discover...

What's your definition of blackmail? Does it vary? Like, if you blackmail someone who's living paycheck to paycheck that's completely unethical. But, like, the people over at the CW have a whooooollllee lot of money. So they can afford it, right?  Please validate us. Zach defends his RoboCop Joke,  Jared wants more food dunks, and Adam promises not to spoil Scream.  Talking Points Include: The REA...

The leaves are falling, there's a chill in the air, and giant spiders are ordering takeout. That can only mean one thing, Snake With Big Teeth month is back baby! We begin the month with a show that, though we really have no desire to win, we can guarantee has GREAT vibes. Steve and Boris welcome us into the Terror Towers. Zach has a lot to say about slime, Jared remembers our mandatory Garfield c...

Are the contestants paid? Nope. Do they donate to charities? Undetermined. Do we want the winning prize? Absolutely not. Why are we doing this game show? Because someone has to put a stop to Kevin Hart's court mandated shenanigans! Zach actively avoids current events, Jared has the best mental attitude, and Adam's house is smaller than T-Pain's. Talking Points Include: Tommy Lee Jones Does ALL the...

We take our first dive into the Quibi scrap pile to find… something pretty good! Leslie Jordan's southern charm welcomes us to the cleaning competition show Squeaky Clean. Zach explains Y2K,  Jared reads an article about Quibi,  and Adam does a crime.  Talking Points Include: Adam Decker's Tactical Training Program, We Are In Favor Of Cyber Crimes, Hi I'm Ham and I Like to Clean, Welcome To Minion...

Vibe check!!! We're bringing you real CHAOS ENERGY in this episode folks, cause that's just where we are right now. Do we talk about a game show? Technically, yes. But we also sing horny duck songs and let an AI read us a story. Come and get it! Zach practices his patter songs, Jared ruins Daffy Duck,  and Adam regrets bringing an AI to the show. Talking Points: VIBE CHECK!!!, More Hagrid Talk And...

This week we once again find ourselves facing off with a trivia game show, which we have gone on record saying are the most difficult game shows to cheat. So in this time of need, who shall we turn to? Why, Academy Award winner and modern mummy expert Rami Malek of course. Zach reveals the people his grandma hates, Jared has seen every Night at the Museum movie, and Adam learns to look at mummies...

Look, we get it. When you see this big intimidating executioner in a gimp suit it can be easy to assume he is the bad guy. Seeing him force children into a tank where he pours slime on them doesn't make him the most likable fellow. But I encourage you to look past this unfortunate big son and you will see where the true evil lies, the one and only Wink Yahoo. Zach loves Canadian game shows, Jared...

This is a weird one. It gets pretty wild, pretty quick. So if you wanna skip this one we're not gonna be upset: in fact, we encourage it. This episode will either be the worst one yet or a cult classic. SPOILER ALERT: it's probably the former. Anyway we make some good Snorlax jokes 40 minutes in so it's not a total loss. Zach shares some Hogan's Heroes insights,  Jared yearns for better slime,  an...

There are many different paths a person can take to break into the film industry. For example, you could wear a lanyard and earpiece and just try to blend in with the crew. Or if that doesn't work you could put a crew member in danger of drowning and then save them. Or if that still doesn't work, you could accuse that same crew member of extortion. It pays to have backup plans, ya know? Zach expla...

It's the Summer of Summers y'all! Crack open a cold one, get your butt to the water, and get ready for the HOTTEST game shows of the year. Like this one: we got 90's Nickelodeon energy, some very stupid video games, and Al Roker is gonna fight and kill a wizard. This is the good stuff. Zach has a Malcolm Gladwell update, Jared knows how weathermen are born, and Adam knows someone who hates wizards...

What's up guys!?! MrBeanFan69 here, and today I'm doing an any percent speed run of Love Actually: The Game. Now you're going to want to main Keira Knightley to start, but eventually you are going to get the Queen to knight each of your playable characters, INCLUDING Billy Bob Thornton. How does this relate to a game show you ask? Don't worry about it. Zach predicts the next Johnny English film, J...

Kick back and relax folks, because it's apparently an easy week for us. Adam Decker, Big Man on Campus, has claimed that this game show is EASY. SIMPLE. NOT A CHALLENGE FOR HIM. No need for tricks, shenanigans, or fun and wild plans, because he's just gonna win the game show as is. But this show's got a message for you, bub: FUKADM Zach busts out some puns,  Jared confuses his Justins,  Adam has g...

The one thing that everyone in America can use - for storage, for inventing, for grilling paninis - is a really good garage. Especially one that will absolutely NOT harm your parents in any way. Hi, we are three brothers just chasing the American Dream, and with the help of Tony Shalhoub, we will ensure that no parents are ever injured in garage related accidents ever again. Zach proposes a "Good"...

Look gang, we have done 160 episodes of this podcast, so if we've done this plan before you will have to forgive us. But I mean, come on, when someone proposes adding nut kicks to a trivia game show, how can we NOT talk about it for the whole episode? We're only human. Zach's jewelry makes slurping noises, Jared has been holding out about Jimmy Hawaii, and Adam in involved in a Westing Game. Talki...

Ok: Jack-Ass was on the air from 2000 to 2003. Saw debuted in 2004. You can put the rest of the puzzle together. We hate to cause drama, but it's about time someone said something. We just want to make sure Mr. Knoxville gets credit where it's due. Zach compliments Jack-Ass, Jared creates a better version of The Circle, and Adam points out a flaw in dunk tanks. Talking Points: That Night In Morocc...

If the story of Rumpelstiltskin can teach us anything, it's this. 1: All riddles must have finite answers. 2: All riddles can be solved by quick witted heroes. 3: All riddle askers will eventually go home, get drunk, and wildly scream the answers to their riddles. All we've gotta do is follow this riddle troll home. Zach finds himself in the middle of a Shrek debate, Jared is the resident Humpty D...

We once again find ourselves in a competition where we are severely outmatched by our opponents. With this one being a building competition, we're just gonna throw what we know and make a big Pinewood Derby car. Buttttt... if we happen to also perform a moving, patriotic tribute to fatherhood and the troops? Let's just say we know who Tim Allen's favorite will be. Zach is a Pinewood Derby champion...

Sometimes we find ourselves face to face with a game show that is clearly much too difficult for us to succeed at. So... do we buckle down, study trivia, and train our minds to be better at critical thinking? Of course not! We throw an enormous party and fabricate events that make whatever we say technically true! Zach has a new endorsement for his comedy career, Jared once again tries to force Sh...

You may think it's weird. King Kong is having career trouble. Didn't he just have a movie come out? Well, that was mostly shot in 2019, and the job market for Big Monkey has been tough in Hollywood. So if you hear of any open gigs give him a call, would ya? On a different note: do you know anyone who can lift a 35,000 lb statue? We gotta move a big Bean out of the city and get it to Houston by Tue...

Cameo has been around for a while now, but we're pretty sure no one knows how it actually works. Like if we play our cards right, we should be able to get a celebrity to unknowingly say something that legally signs their net worth over to us. And if we can remake Psych with us as the main characters in the process, well hey, that's a win-win. Zach searches Cameo for the best deals, Jared still has...

They can put into a high pressure trivia game. They can get John McEnroe to yell at us. They can even make bags of chips explode in our face. The one thing they cant do is raise dead Jared's heart rate above 0 bpm. Don't worry, we'll bring him back to life once we're done. The pope owes us one. Zach will buy a fake hand for the pope, Jared will die and get resurrected, and Adam will shove a coupon...

It's time we all acknowledge the fact that no one likes to watch other people sing karaoke. If we have to do it on national television while trying to remember specific lyrics, it's pretty much a lose-lose situation for us.  So why don't we lean into the awful and just do Free Bird ten times? Guitar solo and all. Now NO ONE is gonna have a good time. Zach wants to complain until he gets money, Jar...

As Americans, we may disagree about who sings the best love songs or what the best thing to see in San Francisco is. But one thing we can all agree on is that firefighters are the absolute coolest. Enjoy what may be the last episode of this podcast, as we consider leaving our current lives behind to pursue our dreams of driving big trucks, sliding down poles, and hanging out with dogs all day. Zac...

There's only one way that a bodybuilder like The Rock could get so strong. He must be genetically engineering super eggs from his own personal chickens. So if a normal person got their hands on one of these eggs, it would be too strong for them to even crack it. But if one man somehow was able to break that egg? He surely would be crowned the winner of whatever game show he happened to be on! Zach...