Precarious

This is a very special episode of the Precarious Podcast. I feel like I met my soulmate in all things uncertain and precarious. Her name is Kimberly Warner. She is a filmmaker. In 2015 she developed cervicogenic vertigo and Mal de Débarquement Syndrome or MdDS that manifests as a constant perception of rocking, bobbing and swaying. After searching for treatments/cures and coming up empty, she had...

Lately, I've been thinking about the concept of "our potential". It's not uncommon to hear someone remark about living up to "one's potential" or the opposite - not living up to "one's potential". This notion of fulfilling our potential feels like one of the rules of life, an expectation that we are burdened with at birth. Cancer and facing my mortality have forced me to look at this through a ver...

After watching his mom succumb to Huntington's Disease, a rare genetic neurological disorder with no treatment and no cure, Seth, at age 20, decided to see if he carried the gene. The test results came back positive. He shares what it's like to live with this knowledge and how he tries to balance holding onto hope for a different future with accepting the brutal reality of his situation. In the me...

There is so much I appreciate about Dr. Moyez Jiwa. What stands out the most is that he cares deeply about the "patient" experience. I was recently a guest for the second time on the "Health Design" podcast which he hosts. He is also the author of "The Art of Doctoring" and editor and chief of the "Journal Health Design". Moyez believes that we can change outcomes in healthcare today by focusing o...

Arthur C. Brooks. If you looked at his accomplishments you would assume he knows the secret to success: best-selling author (12 books), Harvard Business School Professor, acclaimed public speaker and creator of How to Build a Life column for The Atlantic. In his latest book, From Strength to Strength, he challenges us to rethink the definition of success. Through his research and personal explorat...

Eric and I share a love of pushing our physical and mental limits. It's how we met - our common love of athletic endeavors. And, now we share the challenge to face life-threatening diagnoses. In the past three years, Eric was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, a congenital heart condition and most recently Parkinson's Disease. We give credit to and gratitude for our athletic experiences setting...

Like many college students, Chad joined a fraternity. He experienced the time-honored ritual of hazing. As a college junior, he challenged his fraternity chapter’s culture of hazing and found himself fearing for his safety. This set his future path in motion. Chad left the experience consumed by the idea that organizations can ignite, rather than inhibit, the growth and individual potential of eve...

I love talking with Joe Fusaro. We sit down and reflect on this past year and how our unique struggles (Joe living with Bipolar I and Schizoaffective Disorder and me living with cancer) have similar challenges. Living with chronic and life-threatening illness is both exhausting and exhilarating, lonely and connecting, and awe-inspiring and awful. We talk about what we have learned about ourselves...

Eight years ago today I was diagnosed with stage 3C ovarian cancer. I didn't think I would live to see this day. Nor did I have any idea that I would also be diagnosed with stage 3C triple-negative breast cancer and recurrent ovarian cancer. In many ways, I am grateful to not have a crystal ball. If I had known what I was about to face and endure, I would have crumbled under the weight of grief an...

I'm in the thick of my latest existential crisis. Cancer will do that. Noticed how I said "latest". Over the years I have tried to make sense of me, my life, others and the world I live in. It's also part of my job to hold space for my clients to do the same. As I have struggled, I see them struggle to "figure it out". In this episode, I ponder the idea that maybe there isn't a moral to our life s...

Even though it's been an exceptionally beautiful Fall season this time in Colorado, I can't help but feel the familiar dread that washes over me as the leaves start to turn colors and the temperatures begin to cool. It was this time almost eight years ago that marks the beginning of my life with cancer. I'm having what's called an Anniversary Reaction: a normal grief response around the date of a...

The Turley family are the epitome of Grit. Doug Turley lived with ALS also known as Lou Gehrigs Disease for fourteen years way beyond what the doctors had predicted. I sit down with his wife, Becky, and son, Ian in this episode of the Precarious podcast. Their story is a story of grit which is defined as having courage, passion and persistence in the face of adversity. After interviewing them, I'd...

Have you ever felt that someone touched your soul? And, as a result of your meeting, left it just a little fuller? That's exactly how I felt after talking with Laura Pritchett. She is a writer, an award-winning author, a lover of all things nature and an advocate for it's survival. We talk about how the core themes in her work are stories of the precarity of life. Laura shares her own precarious s...

Sometimes I think living is harder than dying. At least that's what I've been struggling with since I completed another course of IV chemotherapy. Metaphorically speaking, living means staying open in the face of fear. Living means staying engaged in the midst of overwhelm. It's a courageous act to stay present when life feels like it's one big "sufferfest". Here's to every single one of you who a...

I sit down with Laurel Braitman - well, she is actually phoning in from the Alaskan wilderness! What an amazing human. Laurel Braitman PhD is a New York Times bestselling author, historian and anthropologist of science. She is the first Writer-in-Residence and the Director of Writing and Storytelling at the Medicine & the Muse Program at the Stanford University School of Medicine where she is help...

I'm inviting you into a very personal and intimate experience. I am releasing my most recent counseling session that I had with Dr. BJ Miller, Palliative Care Specialist and Founder of Mettle Health. BJ Miller was actually one of my first guests on the Precarious Podcast. Little did I know that only a few months later, I'd hear those dread words, "Cancer is back". I reached out to him immediately...

Here's Part 2 of my conversation with Joe. We talk about playing it safe versus taking risks with our hearts. We ask the question, "Do we have to experience pain first hand in order to learn and grow?". And, my 20-something year old cat, Buster, makes an appearance!

I love talking with Joe. So, here we are again! This is a two-part conversation. In Part 1, Joe and I talk about how hard these past few months have been. For me it's finishing 6 months of intensive chemotherapy. For Joe, it's wrestling with his work, passion and purpose. We talk about going through hard stuff again (and again) and how to make sense of it when maybe it just doesn't make sense. We...

Jim Dunlap is living with multiple neurological disorders which even his doctors don't completely understand. To say his life has changed as a result is an understatement. He once worked in a highly successful real estate career and directed a national pro cycling team. He has said good-bye to those things that once identified him. I can relate. I loved talking with Jim. We talked about facing our...

Wow - I turned 55! Living with advanced cancer means living to the next birthday is not a guarantee. I am in awe of this beautiful and terrible thing called life. I am grateful for my broken down, tired body. I know I am living on borrowed time and I am even grateful for that knowing. My life is so much richer. This makes me a wealthy person. In fact, I am the luckiest person I know.

I love my job. As a mental health professional, it's an honor and a privilege to sit with people as they work through some of their hardest moments. In this episode, I talk with one of my current clients about what brought her into therapy and what she is learning about herself. I invite you to listen to this revealing conversation between therapist and client. It's raw, revealing, painful and hop...

I just completed over six months of intensive weekly chemotherapy. I'm relieved, sad and terrified all at once. I've been here before. Living with advanced cancer, means living with uncertainty. This experience is the epitome of the precariousness of life. I miss making plans. Because I can't count on tomorrow, this experience forces me to live in the moment. And, there is so much beauty if you ta...

Kate Weaver was fairly new into her career as a Clinical Dietician when she found herself on the frontlines of providing care during the height of the Pandemic. Like so many frontline workers, she found herself overwhelmed and feeling helpless. What she didn't realize at the time was the toll this was taking on her mental health. This is her story of survival and healing from trauma. It's a story...

Want to know what it's like to be inside my mind as I wrestle with life and death and everything in between? Here's your chance! I'm giving you a snapshot of what goes on in my head on a recent "cancer day". Think of it as reading the thought bubbles floating above comic strip characters. I'm sharing my thought bubbles with you. I'm inviting you in to a sacred and private part of me. I hope by exa...

I like catching up with Joe. I respect and admire his openness about struggling with depression. And, his love and care for me and what I am going through with cancer is tangible. In this episode, we talk about getting hijacked by our emotions and how we try to challenge the stories our minds tell us. When life feels like a storm swirling around us, how do we find stillness? How do we not let thes...