Precarious

Forgiveness, to forgive. Why is it so hard to do? Is it that we think we are condoning the person's behavior if we forgive the person? What do we gain by not forgiving? What do we lose by not forgiving? We lose a great deal when we hang on to resentments. Science shows it's bad for our health- physical and mental. In this episode of Precarious, I explore forgiveness: its definition and and give an...

What is Awe? When is the last time you experienced it? Even I questioned whether it is considered an emotion? It is an emotion that absolutely can improve our quality of life. Yet, it takes paying attention and being open to it. In this episode of Precarious, I reference Dacher Keltner's book, AWE. The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life . He outlines 8 sources of AWE...

Susie Steiner, a writer for the Guardian, published an article about a nurse who documented the top regrets of the dying. She wrtites, "Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai , which gathered so much attention that she p...

It can be lonely in the podcast land. I'll admit that having a one-way conversation has its advantages. And, facing my mortality can be lonely at times. So, I've decided to invite you into the conversation. In this short episode, I pose a number of questions about life and death and living and dying. I realize this can be a difficult topic, so be gentle with yourself if you feel uncomfortable. Ema...

The chidren's book, The Velveteen Rabbit , was first published just over 100 years ago. The book is packed with life lessons or least encurages the reader to go inward and explore what it means to be REAL in this world that rewards us for being something we are not. I'm finding that illness and eventual death is a beautiful pathway to becoming real. In this episode of the podcast, I explore this c...

I've struggled for a long time attaching my value to my health. This struggle has been amplified these past 9 + years since I was diagnosed with cancer. The emotion that comes up strongly is shame. Shame and guilt are cousins in the emotional world. Guilt means "I did something wrong" while Shame means "I am wrong". How many of us carry this message? I'd be curious to know. I unpack some of my tho...

I've been receiving a newly FDA-approved drug since December. My hope has been to give my body the chance to see if the disease responds to treatment in order to improve my quality of life. As it turns out, this treatment has been very difficut for me to tolerate. It's brought into question so much for me. Every day I wake up feeling grateful to be alive. Everyday I look for the beauty. In this ep...

Every wonder what its like to work in cancer care? As a nurse? How it affects that individual? How it changes her/him? I do. You'd think I'd have those questions answered living with cancer for almost 10 years. Nope. All of my heath care providers show up professionally with appropriate boundaries. Sitting down with Monica, one of my oncology nurses, and having the opportunity to ask her all of th...

I have decided to come clean and let you in on how my path towards death has evolved. I admit, I was purposely not disclosing some information. And, in this episode I lay the foundation for my rationale - or at least I explore my rationale. I'm at a crossroads. And, yes, I return to the concept of suffering becasue it's one of my measuring sticks. I ask all of us to visit our relationship with it:...

Here's another BONUS episode of the Precarious podcast. I'm tossing these out there as I feel moved to share with you an "audio journal" version of my experiences living and dying. I guess you could say I'm letting you in to my inner workings as I travel down this path. These audio journals are not meant to replace the original Precarious podcast format. I do plan to interview guests as long as I...

In this episode of BONUS EPISODE of Precarious, I share my experiences about how my not knowing how much time I have left to live has beautfully transformed my relationship with time for the better. I have a different relationship with time. Cancer has made that clear to me. Have you thought about your relationship with time? How do you view time? Do you chase it? Lose it? Wish you had more of it?...

I met Jeff Eagan a couple of years ago. He is a physical therapist specializing in oncology. What does that mean? Research demonstrates that moving your body and exercising through cancer treatment decreases fatigue, increases mood and improves quality of life. Over the years, Jeff and his colleagues have built an incredible program which has blossemed into a community of people living with cancer...

I've been living with cancer (ovarian and breast and now ovarian) for nine years. I've been grateful to have periods of life with out active disease. Now - I'm approaching the end of my life. If someone told me that I would live nine years beyond the day I was first diagnosed, I would not have believed them. It's hard to capture all that I have learned about myself, others and what it means to be...

I've stopped treatment for my cancer. And, honestly, didn't plan on recording another podcast mostly because I did't think I'd still be alive. In this episode of the Precarious podcast, I took advantage of my "aliveness" and sat down with my dear friend, Michelle Faris. She has shown up for me in ways that bring tears to my eyes: such acts of beauty. I wanted to capture an organic conversation and...

I recorded this episode in mid-September and am just releasing it now (my cancer/treatment got in the way). Cissy White is a writer, speaker and advocate all things trauma. She is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse and abandonment and has created a platform to raise awareness of the devastating lingering impacts resulting in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). A few years ago,...

I love sitting down with Skye C Cleary because I love philosophers and especially female philosophers! This was a treat for me. Not only is Skye a philosopher, she is an author - her most recent book "How to be Authentic. Simone de Beauvoir and the Quest for Fulfillment". She also teaches at Columbia University and the City University of New York. I could go on and on about her achievements. But,...

What if this is as good as it gets? What if our best days are behind us? I think about this often as I'm constantly adjusting my definition of what it means to be fulfilled, successful, or even happy (I'd settle for content). Join me as I explore the benefits of accepting what is and what shows up in our lives. There is a down side to perpetually striving to be better than good. And ,if this sound...

Dr Keith Kahn-Harris has been living with Myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS) since his early twenties. He acknowledges that he is privileged in that he was able through support of his family to complete his graduate studies and become a professor, researcher and writer. Despite his accomplishments, he continues to strive to balance his chronic illness and live his full lif...

Joe Sooch is 29 years old and has been living with Fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva (FOP) is a very rare genetic connective tissue disorder characterized by the abnormal development of bone in areas of the body where bone is not normally present such as the ligaments, tendons, and skeletal muscles. He has lost 95% of his mobility and relies on others to help him with daily functions. But, tal...

Forrest Gump famously said "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are gonna get." True. And, I've been thinking about how life is like a tube of toothpaste. That full tube of toothpaste feels endless and abundant. It's only when you come to the end of the tube do you treat those few remaining drops as if they are a precious commodity - not to be wasted. In this episode of the p...

I did something irrational and some may say a bit reckless. It wasn't planned. I adopted a feral kitty! My original plan was to sign up as a foster volunteer for one of our local animal shelters. I should have known better. My first attempt at fostering failed. And, I'm happy to report that I'm in love! Connecting with animals is one of my greatest joys and top on my list of how I take care of mys...

Danielle Glick is a survivor of multiple traumas: domestic violence, emotional abuse, and a suicide attempt (just to name a few), and now cancer. She describes cancer as the hardest thing she has ever endured, which came as a surprise to her. We share a common profession: mental health. We talk about how hard stuff can break us, break us open. It teaches us to prioritize the important things and p...

Strangely, I recorded this episode right before I experienced a bit of a medical emergency and ended up in the hospital. So, it seems a be prophetic. Allowing others to take care of me is one of my greatest challenges. It feels like I'm jumping off a cliff hoping that the net will appear while having little confidence that it will actually show up. It's a struggle for many of us. In this episode,...

It was a treat to sit down with my brother, Jason Barrett. I was curious about how his time serving in the Marine Corps affected him. Believe it or not, we had not ever really talked about it. He shares stories of facing his fears, witnessing death, informing loved ones of their son or daughter's untimely death and how all of this has shaped his perspective on life. What shines through is Jason's...