Perfect Crimes

We've got the one and only Dan Hall on to talk about a dream of his--becoming a top tier accountant/hitman.  Or is it hitman/accountant?  He's going to be great at it, either way.  You're going to love this one.  We'll be taking a break next week and coming back with a very special guest and a brand new studio.  See you in a few!

The very funny Cam Ohh stops by to get help taking down his younger, hotter doppelgänger--Troye Sivan.  Is it a doppelgänger if they're younger and hotter?  I can feel Cam's rage growing as he reads this description.  Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, Cam is a delight, despite his deeply held contempt for Troye Sivan's youth and beauty.  Listen now!

What's in the box?!  Brad Pitt's character from Se7en isn't the only one wondering.  In this episode, we sit down with the funniest MILF in Boston, Nancy Sen, who's got a great idea for robbing cargo ships and turning shipping containers into something better than housing--a raffle where you never know what that box is going to hold.  It might even be Gwyneth Paltrow! 

One of Cape Cod's finest drives all the way out to see us this week.  We sit down with the hilarious Chris Weber to talk about why he wants to free the robots.  To be fair, it does involve riding around in a giant Megazord.  Talk about a crime with merit.  Like, subscribe, listen now!

A lot of fellas get into crime for the money, and Boston's own Seth Farley is no different.  Public events beware, Seth is going to streak across the field so well the cameras can't help but stay on him.  That's how you get that sweet, sweet ad money.  

Pat Lacey has the fire of revolution inside of him, and he knows how he's going to show it.  By burning down the worst place in the world: The Nabisco Factory.  Should have called them cookies instead of biscuits, Nabisco.  

Tell me if you've heard this one--so a Vietnamese girl and Serb walk into a bar, then immediately recruit you to do their bidding.  That's the world we'll be living in once Vi and Iggy get their act together.  Along the way though, we talk about MassLaughsMedia, their budding comedy empire, and war amongst the chimps.  Top tier episode, if you ask me.  

Boston's a pretty great city, aside from one huge problem--No Happy Hours.  Also, bars close at 2AM.  ALSO, where are all the opium dens?  Don't worry, concerned listener, Abby Evans has a solution for you.  That's right, we're bringing back the speakeasy back.  It's going to be the Roaring '20s all over again.  

He was almost a Marine and knows some pretty sick karate moves, so who better to discuss hitmen with than the one and only Jon Fletcher?  How did he lose half a finger?  Was it an operation gone wrong?  Listen to find out!  (BTW as long as you are NOT a rapist or pedophile this episode has absolutely nothing to do with you)

Beau and James (BJS for short) have always known their destiny--for James to die in a fiery car crash, trapped inside the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile as he's grilled alive in a grotesque display of barbecued irony.  Beau, of course, will be watching from a safe distance, cold beer in hand, because that's what good friends do.  How did we come to this Steinbeckian conclusion?  Only one way to find out...

We have the very funny Sarah Fitz on this week to discuss a matter of grave importance--the so-called "government" has banned yet another thing the people care about.  Box Turtle Farms.  You'll never guess what sort of criminal act she has in mind.  Sometimes you've gotta fight for your right to properly care for reptiles in an ideal setting.  

Local legend Tiny joins us to figure out the best possible way to destroy all student debt, but along the way we try to solve the mystery of who deleted the first episode we recorded with him.  Hint: It was Joe.  But only for non-sober reasons. 

The Fellas sit down with the one and only Big Thunk, who's here to share the details on how he became the mad genius we all know and love. #funny #bigthunk #bostoncomedy #worcester #newengland #blizzard #openingday

A lot of our greatest leaders started with a simple goal: complete control over who lives and who dies.  Their problem?  They thought too small.  Get the people involved, that's what Maz says.  Is he a great democratic visionary, or the greatest democratic visionary of all time?  That's a story for history to tell.  

We've got a local favorite on to talk about his guiding light--Catch Me If You Can.  What a film. Oh yeah, Matt also wants to engage in some self-pleasure, while driving, but, look, everything else we talk about is E-X-T-R-E-M-E-L-Y wholesome.  

WE'RE BACK--sorry for the break ya'll, but don't worry, we've got a great crime, er, total legal military action for everyone.  Ever wonder who's going to run Iran?  Every day it seems like someone new is in charge, for again, TOTALLY LEGIT, NOT WAR CRIME REASONS.  But this week we've got the man with the plan, the Ayatollah who will Aya-tell-ya, Terrance McCormack, and his super cool sidekick, th...

Some men want a license to kill, but Tyler doesn't need anything so grand.  He just wants to know how he can go whenever he needs to without the GD fuzz getting involved. 

Ever thought you could do a better job running the office than the bozos in charge?  Shaun and Brian are here this week because they feel the same way, only about the second largest city in New England.  Did someone say bloodless coup?  They did not.  

THIS WEEK, ON PERFECT CRIMES, TWO AMAZING THINGS.  First off, we've got a special guest host.  The one, the only, she's got the Hope Diamond on her somewhere--it's El Kennedy.  SECOND, we've got a great episode for you.  Local favorite Frank Allen stops by to get advice on heisting.  Guess what?  He came to the right place.  

Talk about wish fulfillment.  Since she was young El has had a love/hate relationship with the largest diamond in the world, so it makes sense she would come to us to figure out how to steal it.  I just HOPE she does something productive with it, unlike that old lady in Titanic.  

THIS WEEK, ON PERFECT CRIMES--CLOWN PEOPLE, BUTTS, AND INSURANCE FRAUD!  WE'VE GOT IT ALL!  Brieana Woodward and Al Christakis join us to figure out how get MAXIMUM VALUE for Al's derrière.  The secret ingredient to this scheme?  Crime. 

Our good friend Patrick has some interesting plans for Mars, let me tell you.  And if you give us an opportunity to yuck Elon's yum, Perfect Crimes Inc. is going to take it.  

Look, we know.  Trump beat him to it.  That doesn't mean we don't have a great episode this week.  And besides, when the president does it, it's not a crime.  Big shout out to Nixon for that one.  

What do you do with a bunch of gay men that haven't called you back?  Straight to jail.  What if they were kind of rude to you on that one date?  Believe it or not, jail.  We help Matt Hayden Gone Girl every man that's ever even sorta kinda wronged him right to--you guessed it--jail.  

I'm going to level with everyone--we were all going to a Christmas party after this and I had too many martinis to tell you exactly what happens during this episode.  I know we said funny stuff during this episode, probably, but god help me if I can remember any of it.  Adam Melvin definitely has a crime that involves pitting aquatic creatures together for sport, I think, and I'm as excited as all...