Paging Mr Potter

JUST WHO THE HECK IS ROBERT GALBRAITH?? The horrific truth behind this dark figure may shock and disappoint you! Meanwhile culinary goddess Julie Goodwin is cooking up something too spicy for even the masterchef kitchen...

Uh ohhhh who's been bang out of order this week on page 76? Why its Novak Djokovic, Jeff Bezos and Bob (sic) Weasley of course!

- School of Rock - The Emperor's New Groove - Harry Potter Find out which two of these great works we endorse in the strongest possible terms and which one we're ambivalent about at best

Even JKs latest string of controversies couldn't keep us down this week as we bounce back with honestly one of the stupidest episodes yet. My God the PMP boys have some chutzpah!

SIMPLY THE BEST: The NRL is back baby and to celebrate we select our harry potter rugby league dream team!! Don't you want to know if we picked a goblin at fullback? Well? Don't you?!?? :D

HOGWARTS IS A HALFPIPE: in one of the most gnarly/ radical pages yet we discuss the right way to describe a band of Weasleys and look into whether Harry Potter and Dobby were really just 'good friends'...

If you've been waiting for a page of Harry Potter that features Oliver Twist, Elon Musk, Joe Rogan AND the unnecessary and weird sexualisation of a sentient bot, then you'll simply adore this ep.

This week we marvel at some of the wonders of modern medicine as rascally boy-pig Dudley is rushed to the ER. Plus we receive a very interesting message from a very famous quidditch player

I mean come on... what did you think we were gonna talk about on PAGE 69?!?! give me a break

what do chapter 5 of harry potter and the philosopher's stone and kim jong un have in common? they both come to an end this week (probably) !!

Do Harry and the boys finally escape the clutches of the sinister Mr Ollivander? Has the Hogwarts song set a new low for Rowlingian shittiness? And what's this, a pod within a pod? The answer to all three questions, is yes!

Mysteries are shattered this week as we answer the age old questions: •do unicorns exist? •what is the difference between parody and satire? and •whats the go with mermaids? The answers may shock you

*NSFW WARNING* Why does this page exist?! The boys are left traumatised after the most upsetting, sexually charged page of the book. Not suitable for work or general listening.

Never mind corona virus, on page 64 Harry encounters far more menacing threats to his health and safety including tigers, bears, the Unabomber and a seedy older man in a wand shop

The boys are in lockdown, so they dabble in the dark art of Skype to bring you the first ever remote-episode. Will Riordan's incompetence ruin this before it even begins? Only time will tell.

COVID-19 is not a vibe hey... Anyway Andrew has lost his mind this week and recorded a solo pod. It's better than nothing? Maybe? Please enjoy the soothing tones of a brain well and truly unravelling before your very eyes/ears. Stay safe out their potterfiles xx

This week harry meets a young white supremacist in the robe store (possibly buying one of those pointy kkk ghost sheets??) 🙄🙄AND we come within a whisker of a real life wizard in a public restroom!!

PMP EXCLUSIVE: is a beloved harry potter character really patient X in the coronavirus pandemic?? And if so can you afford to miss our exclusive and not at all insensitive investigation of the matter?!?!!? And if not are you really in that much worse off of a position than you are now anyway??? Sounds like you'd have to be a crazy person to miss this pod!

Yes the pod returns in 2020 with one of JKs most boring pages yet, but that doesn't stop Nathan from uncovering an insidious conspiracy at the heart of the music industry. Also Riordan brings some sassy candles to our attention and Andrew discusses Japanese Onsen etiquette. The PMP boys are back baby... and this time it's Sirius!

CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 🎄: Ho! Ho! Ho! Harry Christmas To All Ye Potterfiles. Tis the night before Christmas, but you have our permission to tear open your sacks and feast merrily on the pod inside 🎅

Uhh ohhh is you know who after the you know what??!!! who knows?!?! who cares?? WTF! And what classic mishap has Hermione's cat Lambshank gotten himself caught up in this week?

This week we run into some of the wizarding world's most influential figures while waiting in line at the bank including Chinese Australian businessman Bing Lee, famous Slytherin alumni Monty Python, and the ALWAYS controversial Osama bin Laden

ALL HANDS ON THE POOP DECK: just when we thought it was finally smooth sailing to Diagon Alley we encounter some rather serious trouble on the high seas

BIG YIKES! The boys find themselves in not one, but two sticky situations...and are the rumours true about rampant Potterphilia in Britain's ruling class?

We've waited 53 pages but we finally got to meet the most anticipated character in the book, one Doris Crockford! But hold onto your robes, we also stumble upon the worst song maybe ever and the regrettable return of Cho-Cho-Cho changes.