Paging Mr Potter

While the crypto frauds and tech bozos continue to let us down, the PMP boys put on an ENTREPRENEURIAL MASTERCLASS this week as we celebrate the heights of human genius and innovation in our favourite new segment Harry Patent™ AND attempt to secure a major real estate transaction at the same time! Plus we preview a blockbuster World Cup clash that will well and truly be over by the time this pod g...

With the World Cup kicking off this week, we check in with the huge weirdos that run the corrupt FIFA organisation, and speculate on whether the French soccer team's recent foray into sorcery will backfire or pay dividends come game day ⚽🏆 Plus we'll give you a comprehensive rundown on the history of human ingenuity, from the humble wheel (not a very good invention) to a sex spa designed by a we...

In a week where major malfoynctions and technical difficulties threatened to interfere with our freedom of speech, thank GOD billionaire bird boy Elon Musk stepped in and saved free speech once and for all, at great personal cost. Also what do Dumbledore and Donkey from Shrek have in common? That's right! They both have sex with dragons as it turns out on page 175 

WE'RE SORRY! This week a truly regrettable naming mixup on our part triggers a full scale Royal Commission into racism in the Paging Mr Potter podcast. Luckily for us though, it turns out the British are even more hopeless with names than we are, leading to an all English edition of the classic game Peter Pettiwho 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿❓

After the soaring heights of celebrating the first ever Saint Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington day on Friday, we came crashing back down to earth this week with the untimely death of Hagrid 🌹But thankfully we did have page 173 to fall back on, which obviously elicited no emotional reaction whatsoever 😑

Tell your boss you're not coming in this Friday - 14 October 2022 - because not only is it our FOUR YEAR PODIVERSARY but the inaugural Saint Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington Day! A fully legitimate national public holiday commemorating the world's greatest podcast (this podcast).  Also, we devise a plan to take down Melbourne's rudest restaurant by serving up a taste of their own medicine... &nbs...

In the aftermath of the NRL grand final, a loathsome rugby league journalist coins yet a another bizarre insult to add to our footy vocabulary 🐭☕ A beloved Hogwarts professor quits teaching to try her luck running a fast food burger joint 🍟🍔 And in our latest Argus Film a children's cartoon devolves into a call for bloody revolution ✊🍪

This week the true story behind Neil Diamond's 'Sweet Caroline' leaves a sour taste in our mouths. Plus we discuss the legal implications of flashing hog in a hall of mirrors 🐷🪞🐷

Fair to say Harry Potter has put us off books forever so instead this week we're talking MOVIES, including the 90s crime thriller that's given Riordan nightmares all week🗡️🙃 and our pitch for a brand new political comedy starring Woody Harrelson 🍁🤠

Well... there was really no getting away from this... so without further ado we present our tribute to the late Queen Elizabeth II 🌹 POD SAVE THE KING 

This week a potterphile uncovers a mysterious prophecy buried deep in our apple podcasts reviews 🔮✨ but does this glimpse into the future help us steer the pod in wise directions? Or are we doomed to even more low comedy, hijinks and mishaps - much like a young Raven Symone who we discuss for god knows what reason... 

We’re absolutely thrilled to announce our exciting new joint venture with a totally legitimate and not at all suspicious online dating app 🔥🔥 Make sure you check it out using the link in our instagram bio today!! Also we discuss whether diving cartoonishly into a sea of coins is really as fun as it looks…

Against his better judgment this week Andrew makes a pilgrimage to one of the most sacred sites in Potterdom 🙏 Plus we attempt to revitalise Lord Voldemort's acting career by casting him as the lead of Nathan's hit new romantic comedy 🥰

Its a series of crucial missteps this week as Harry Potter takes an unpleasant trip to an adult bookstore, Nancy Pelosi takes an ill-advised trip to Taiwan and Salman Rushdie takes an ill-fated trip to... a public place. Also it turns out we might not have actually been reading one full page of Harry Potter each week for the past 164 weeks lmao  

SURPRISE SUCKAAASSS 🐣 Did you really think we'd let the pod die without finishing this damn book? SHAME ON YOU!!! And while we didn't make any meaningful progress with the book this week, we did get through one hell of a lot of rugby league news 

This week Nathan stalks two beloved Harry Potter actors and tries to ambush them at a comic convention (which actually doesn’t sound great now that I’m typing it out). And uh-ohhh Hagrid’s drunk at the Hogwarts Christmas party and about to make a play for one of Hogwarts’s biggest hotties 🥴🥴

Sorry for the delayed pod but we were busy carefully crafting the tightest >1hr of podcasting probably in history and it's mostly about crap we’ve seen on TV! And when I say CRAP I’m talking infomercials 🤑 Adriano Zumbo’s short lived dessert thing 🤷 and a particularly spicy segment from The Footy Show 💩

This week we take a stroll through Crazy Town and discuss the band’s eerily prescient hit about ladies coming 🦋 Plus we talk about Clive Palmer’s big, fat… heart?!

As promised, this week we trial an all new game - “UAPeter Pettiwho” -  the only guessing game based entirely on the odious mouthbreathers from the One Nation and United Australia parties (with a little Potter magic sprinkled on top) And did German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche predict Guy Sebastian’s Australian Idol victory all the way back in 1883? That’s uber cool!

*To the tune of the Backstreet’s Back pre chorus* Is this uncomfortable? YEAAHHH Weirdly sexual? YEAAHHHH Ha-grid-lec-ta-ble? YEAAHHHH Yes its very PMP, you better rock your dobby now

On today’s pod Andrew gives us his thoughts on the new Fantastic Beasts flick, we delve into John Mayer’s Chinese heritage and we revisit one of the most odious ghouls to ever inhabit Australian politics

It's one for mums this week 🥰 🥰 as we celebrate mothers day with some truly heartwarming poetry. Plus we reflect on whether the whole potterphile/ paedophile joke is funny enough to justify our wretched recent content, and bring you more breaking political news in our favourite new segment Hagridlection!

We all know PMP is the most ambitious literary analysis ever attempted, but have you ever wondered what kick-started our love affair with the printed word? Well join us this week for some truly harrowing tales from our infamous high-school English class

How do you follow up the most exhilarating and masterfully-constructed page in all of English literature?? YOU 👏 GET 👏 BACK 👏 TO 👏 WORK. Much like Snape, JK is on fire right now and the PMP boys are just trying to keep up! This week we finally crown the winner of our competition to uncover the craziest thing that's ever happened!! We also talk about animal trafficking, the upcoming Australian...

This week we absolutely butcher pronunciation of Timothee Chalamet's name... but is one of his co-stars planning to quite literally butcher him and serve him with a red wine jus?