Not Your Therapist

Send us Fan Mail You’re having a normal day—coffee in hand, scrolling your phone—and suddenly your chest tightens, your heart races, and you’re spiraling. That’s a trigger. But what exactly does it mean to be “triggered”? In this episode, I’m breaking down what triggers really are (spoiler: they’re your nervous system’s way of trying to protect you), how to recognize when you’re in the middle of o...

Send us Fan Mail Ever met someone who just has it —that mix of confidence, warmth, and magnetism that makes people lean in? That’s charisma. And good news: it’s not some magical personality trait you’re either born with or not—it’s a skill you can actually practice. In this episode, I’m breaking down what charisma really is (hint: it’s equal parts warmth and competence), why it matters more than s...

Send us Fan Mail Ever wondered what EMDR actually is—or why everyone from trauma therapists to TikTok is talking about it? In this episode, I’m breaking down Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (aka EMDR) in plain English.  We’ll cover how it works, what the science says, and who it’s really for. I’ll also share how EMDR has impacted me personally and what I’ve seen in my own clients—bec...

Send us Fan Mail The word "boundaries" has become such a buzzword that many people throw it around without truly understanding what it means. But what exactly are boundaries, and why do so many of us struggle to set them effectively? Boundaries aren't about controlling others—they're guidelines for what you will and won't allow in your life. The key distinction lies in tak...

Send us Fan Mail Ever found yourself drawn to someone who couldn't quite decide if they wanted you? The Harrison-Lauren-Tony love triangle from Love Island UK Season 12 offers a perfect case study in toxic relationship patterns that might feel eerily familiar. This captivating analysis breaks down the psychological dynamics at play when a charming but emotionally withholding person keeps mult...

Send us Fan Mail Have you ever felt responsible for a parent's emotional wellbeing? Been called "the only one they can talk to" or "their rock"? That special closeness you felt might actually have been something therapists call emotional incest—a hidden form of boundary violation that shapes how we connect with others well into adulthood. Emotional incest occurs when a par...

Send us Fan Mail Were you the only child who was “so mature for your age”—but never really got to be a kid? In this episode, we dive into what it’s really like growing up without siblings and how that shapes your identity, relationships, and emotional habits as an adult. Drawing from birth order psychology and Family Systems Theory, we explore how only children miss the sibling subsystem—your firs...

Send us Fan Mail Are you the youngest child who’s always been seen as “the fun one”—but never quite taken seriously? In this episode of Not Your Therapist , we’re breaking down the psychology of the youngest child: how being the “baby” of the family shapes your personality, relationships, and sense of identity. We explore how youngest kids often become the entertainer or escape artist, the impact...

Send us Fan Mail Were you the middle child—the one who stayed out of the way, kept the peace, and quietly handled your own emotional needs? You’re not alone. In this episode of Not Your Therapist , we dive deep into the psychology of middle child syndrome, emotional distancing, and why so many middle children become chronic people-pleasers or “distancers” in adulthood. We’ll talk about how middle...

Send us Fan Mail Are you the firstborn and secretly exhausted? You’re not alone. In this episode, we dive deep into the eldest child experience—how being the “responsible one” often leads to perfectionism, people-pleasing, burnout, and emotional overfunctioning in adulthood. If you were basically a third parent growing up, this one’s for you. We’ll talk about parentification, high-achiever syndrom...

Send us Fan Mail Did your family birth order shape your personality? Spoiler: yep. In this episode, we explore how birth order influences your identity, temperament, and adult relationships. Whether you're the eldest child, middle child, youngest, or only child, this episode helps you understand how your role in the family still shows up in your life today. You’ll learn the psychology behind...

Send us Fan Mail Ever feel like you're constantly running on a productivity treadmill, unable to step off without experiencing overwhelming guilt and anxiety? You're not alone. What looks like ambition and high achievement might actually be anxiety masquerading as motivation – and over time, it can evolve into something more concerning. In this revealing episode, we explore how childhood...

Send us Fan Mail Ever hit a milestone and still feel... kinda hollow? Or find yourself needing everyone else’s opinion before you can trust your own? Been there. And spoiler alert: It’s not because you’re broken. It’s because most of us were raised in homes where self-validation wasn’t modeled—so now we second-guess everything from our feelings to our freaking lunch order. In this episode, I’m bre...

Send us Fan Mail The quiet dismissal of your feelings? That sh*t cuts deeper than yelling ever could. When someone avoids eye contact, scrolls their phone mid-convo, or chuckles at your story like it’s a joke—they might not say anything cruel, but your nervous system still gets the memo: You don’t matter here. After a recent family visit left me feeling invisible and low-key spiraling, I had to un...

Send us Fan Mail Dr. Larry Waldman brings decades of forensic psychology experience to this raw, insightful conversation about the hidden casualties of divorce – the children caught in the crossfire between warring parents. Drawing from twenty years as the expert judges called on during high-conflict custody battles, Dr. Waldman exposes the psychological damage inflicted when parents prioritize th...

Send us Fan Mail Are you staring at your calendar wondering how you'll face another workday? That crushing exhaustion isn't just tiredness—it's burnout, and it's reached epidemic levels among high-achievers and caregivers. In this eye-opening conversation with psychologist Dr. Jessica Tai, we dive into the science behind workplace burnout, revealing why it's now an officia...

Send us Fan Mail Ever wondered why it's so hard to simply ask for what you need in relationships? Former attorney turned emotional intelligence coach Erin Darden brings clarity to this struggle, revealing how societal expectations, fear of rejection, and our own internalized guilt create barriers to honest communication. "You can't pour from an empty cup, but women do it all the tim...

Send us Fan Mail Struggling to feel close to your partner in a long-term relationship? Tired of fighting about the same things over and over—like dishes, chores, or who's doing bedtime? You’re not alone—and the issue probably isn’t what you think it is. In this episode of Not Your Therapist , I sit down with couples and individual therapist Amy Phillips, one of our seasoned clinicians at Evol...

Send us Fan Mail When Amanda Hofmann became a mom in January 2020—just as the world shut down—her life took a wild turn. A seasoned event planner suddenly found herself navigating new motherhood, postpartum anxiety, and total isolation. So what did she do? She strapped her baby into a stroller, started walking the parks of Wilmington, NC… and accidentally created one of the most loved parenting re...

Send us Fan Mail Your Body Isn’t the Enemy—It’s Fighting for You Diet culture has fed us a lie: that thinness equals health, worth, and discipline. But what if everything you’ve been taught about food and your body is wrong? Specialist eating disorder dietitian Emma Townsin  is here to flip the script on restrictive diets, emotional eating, and why your body isn’t sabotaging you—it’s actually tryi...

Send us Fan Mail Struggling with low libido? Feeling disconnected from your partner? You're not alone. In this episode of Not Your Therapist Podcast , licensed sex therapist Shie Benisti, LCSW, CST , joins us to break down the real reasons why sexual desire fluctuates—and what you can do to bring intimacy back. We dive into the mental, emotional, and relational blocks that impact desire, incl...

Send us Fan Mail Ever wonder what your therapist really thinks about you? 🤔 In this episode of Not Your Therapist Podcast , licensed therapist Darrian Pelkey, MSW, LCSWA , joins me to spill the tea on what goes on behind the scenes in therapy. We’re pulling back the curtain on the things therapists wish clients knew —from common misconceptions about therapy to what we actually think when you apol...

Send us Fan Mail Ever feel like your emotions hijack your brain before you even have a chance to think? Emotional regulation is the key to handling stress, frustration, and overwhelm without exploding (or shutting down). In this quick Shrink Shots episode, we’re breaking down what emotional regulation actually means, why it’s so hard sometimes, and how to stop flipping out—even when someone totall...

Send us Fan Mail Ever wondered why you have emotions—or why they sometimes feel like they’re running your entire life? In this quick Shrink Shots episode, we’re breaking down the science behind emotions, what they’re actually trying to tell you, and how to deal with them without letting them take over. Spoiler alert: Your emotions aren’t the enemy—they’re data. You just need to know how to read th...

Send us Fan Mail Ever feel like you’re either all in on health—meal prepping, intense workouts, cutting out everything fun—or completely off the wagon? That all-or-nothing mindset is exhausting, unsustainable, and (spoiler alert) not the key to long-term health. In this episode, I sit down with health coach Liz Rodriguez to reframe what real wellness looks like. We’re ditching the toxic perfection...