Not If I Reboot You First!

Cherry 2000 is the story of a man who's robot girlfriend breaks down, and only a cool action girl can help him get a new exactly the same one. Lindsay thinks this whole script was written on 80s divorced-guy brain, but Tanner thinks there's something in here about forced obsolescence. Also discussed are a vibes-based apocalypse and Korok torture machines. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and...

Content Warning in this episode for suicide. There's been a murder! Fortunately it was in the idyllic English countryside, which means we can call on Hercule Poirot and his mustache to solve it! Lindsay's grabbing Kenneth Branagh straight from Venice and handing him her pitch for The Murder of Roger Ackroyd. There's a new framing device too, which means we're about to invent True Crime a few years...

This episode is shorter and a little half-baked, but at least it's not deconstructed, and it's not like we added capers to a desert for no reason. Anyway, remember Fighting Foodons? Of course not, which is why we're throwing out basically everything and starting from scratch. We gotta ask questions like "What if Yu-Gi-Oh was The Menu?" "Was there a TCG?" "What if the Flying Spaghetti Monster was t...

Oh what poddings and moddings! It's time for another rebooting and scooting as Lindsay takes The Black Cauldron to task. Specifically she's putting all the parts of the Chronicles of Prydain that Katzenberg cut back in and finessing it so that there's a cool and dangerous fantasy film for tweens to watch. That means more fights, more blood, and a sultry dark sorceress that blows the tiddy witches...

Well howdy wanderer, it seems you've stumbled upon a guest episode of the podcast. Theo's come round to tell us about the triumphs and failures of Fallout 3, from Moira and her wasteland survival guide to the multitude of pitfalls surrounding the game's morality system. We're gonna drop most of the plot and focus on the faction politics of this setting, including adding a few more in - like monarc...

The apocalypse has been cancelled, uncancelled, recancelled, but it's about time we reboot it. Pacific Rim Uprising isn't as good as the sum of its parts, but Tanner thinks with better worldbuilding they can come together into a worthy sequel. Lindsay's got ideas to beef up the themes of legacy and homages to mecha classics. Also discussed are a kind of feminism, girl robots for girls, and Werner...

We might all be apples and oranges, but in the end we're all podcasts. Podcast Freshman Ris came here to reboot the My Big Fat Greek Wedding sequels, but they've got so many notes we only had time for one. They discuss the emotional ups and downs and coming from diaspora families, how the entire plot can't happen under the watchful eye of GOArch, and Greece's second most famous homosexual. Our cov...

Ilya x Solo x Gabby OT3! We can all agree that's the most important part of The Man from U.N.C.L.E., and the only thing in our way is, you know...THAT casting situation. But once we choose a man who is tall or short as our new Russian agent we're off to the races! Lindsay threads together several major elements of the classic TV show, Tanner helps spruce things up with witty remarks and tone marke...

We're back! Again! And we're treading old water as we take another crack at Star Wars, this time looking at the Sequel Trilogy - specifically The Force Awakens because it sets up some decent themes but surely we can make it not such a rehash of A New Hope, right? Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake, who's contact info is...

Eddie Kingston is coming for the title this week! Bryan has returned to tell Tanner and Lindsay all about wrestling again, but instead of re-writing the past he's changing the future. Eddie Kingston is pursuing the AEW title, but what will he give up to get there? On this dark path we'll encounter Cinderella Stories, the Thunderdome, and a bit of a Skeet Ulrich vibe. Our friendship promo this week...

You gotta fight! For your right! To Polly! And Mighty Max is here too, even though Jake's the only person who's heard of them. With Tanner and Lindsay's help he'll figure out what these pocket-sized siblings can do, the monsters they'll face, and the lessons they'll learn about each other - and also who's on the soundtrack. We also discuss Lemuria, the Ape King, and Primestar. Our friend ship prom...

Listen, ok, listen, this was originally gonna be a straight sequel to Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) but Tanner realized they really missed the mark on Cassie Cain and they kind of have to rebuild the movie from the ground up. Fortunately, they have an idea of letting the girls hit the town and hit a bunch of C-List villains while the Bat Family is occupied -...

This week Lindsay is getting right into it with an all-ladies reboot of Kolchak: The Night Stalker. She spends the first chunk of the episode explaining how she's expanding the events of the movies and several novels into full seasons with dramatic arcs, and then at the end Tanner reminds her that it needs to be funny too. Along the way they discuss sexy lady vampires, a miner's strike, and a grea...

We pod for our friends this week! Garmore has arrived to give us the lowdown on Fire Emblem - specifically Awakening, which they feel is the strongest game and only needs a few key changes to make it excellent. This episode we also engage in tactical shipping, unfreeze a protagonist, and time travel with scene kids. Our friendship promo this week is @The3LWPodcast! Our cover art is by Alex aka @pt...

Let's keep going with the RTS train, but we're gonna stay in-genre this time when Tanner reboots Impossible Creatures! It's a game about slamming two animals together to make something charmingly bizarre and sending it off to fight, but Tanner wants to improve on that with environmental bonuses, side missions, and a plot about aliens! As long as we keep things high-pulp we should be okay. Our frie...

We've crashed landed on Planet U! Fortunately we can RAID some ROCKS to get shiny green power crystals, but at what cost? Or is this all just a game to teach kids why destroying an environment in the name of colonialism is bad? The only way she and Tanner can learn is by rebooting Lego Rock Raiders! Our friendship promo this week is @ChampsMaking! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work...

What's the Secret of NIMH? It's that there's an element added to the movie that truly makes no sense to Tanner, it's NOT just a nit. They're gonna tell Lindsay about how they'll reinforce the themes of the story without relying on plot devices, as well as Bluth's Mormon money and why Jeremy isn't a real name. We will NOT be talking about the sequel, do not mention the sequel. Our friendship promo...

I only hope this episode is as nice as Rebecca's was...wait, this episode is ABOUT Rebecca! Lindsay needs to steer this adaptation in a more sensible direction than the recent one, while still modernizing the concerning overlap regarding sapphic undertones and toxic mother figures. Along the way she'll also talk to Tanner about Jimmy Stewart, Reba McEntire, and a musical that makes sense for the G...

Tanner decided to reboot A Knight's Tale but the problem is that it's almost a perfect movie. But we established over our last hiatus that the best way to improve something perfect is to stick it on stage, and fortunately this thing seems custom built to become a Jukebox musical! Lindsay and them will look at alleged 70s songs, ignore historical accuracy, and evoke Jesus' WHYYYYYY. Our friendship...

Too many cool middle grade fantasy series were swallowed by Pottermania, and this week is one of them: The Two Princesses of Bamarre by Gail Carson Levine. Lindsay wants to make it a heartfelt pastoral adventure where a young girl learns to believe in herself! We also yell at Disney for causing good art to happen, despite the horrors. Our friendship promo this week is @OurSparksPod! Our cover art...

Wise Girls is allegedly a film with a multitude of twists, but there's really just one and it's pretty mid...so Tanner's twisting it up even more! Secret murders, police corruption, a grandma with a shotgun, Italian food?! Not to mention brief appearances from Green Lantern and Marvin the Martin Manhunter (but those aren't important right now). Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work ca...

It is NOT time for the terrible mobile game ads cinematic universe, but the Merge Mansion is such a Resident Evil puzzle catastrophe that it just makes sense for someone to build their Last Fortress underneath it. Lindsay has been inspired by Pedro Pascal joining the Merge Mansion cast to do something with it - a shady soap about a secretive neighbourhood. Lily's Garden is here too, and the king i...

We're back and so are the X-Men! Yes we already did an X-Men episode, but this is different because this time it's a Kart racing game! Tanner and Lindsay are gonna pick characters to race, moves for them to unleash on competitors, and what kind of outfits they're gonna wear. And fortunately Tanner's only a little bit of a New Warrior's Head at the same time. Light's green, let's start year five! O...

The 200th episode special: William Shakespeare's Jurassic Park, written by Tanner and Lindsay. CAST Dramatis Personae Narration - Ryan (@VagabondHaunted) Alan Grant - a paleontologist - Tanner (@SparkyUpstart) Ellie Sattler - a paleobotanist - Lindsay (@LindsayM476) Ian Malcolm - a chaos theorist - Lava (@LavaBees) John Hammond - a visionary - JD (@CodenameJD) Robert Muldoon - a hunter - Harley (@...

It's finally time to close the book on Once Upon a Time. We fought Cora, we redeemed Regina, we killed Rumple, we ended and brought back magic, we found the treasures, and we unleashed an ultimate evil. Now in this final season all we gotta do is rotate our blorbos, give scritches to the first dalmation, and schwoomp some hearts in order to get everyone's Happily Ever After. Our cover art is by Al...