Not If I Reboot You First!

Discussion of suicide from 33:40 - 34:35. Lindsay has been challenged to take a fascinating, albeit dark, movie from 1972 - not 2011, we don't care about Jason Statham playing Jason Statham. No, the man of the day is Charles Bronson, and we're gonna let him engage in full-blown toxic yaoi with his twunky menty. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @Spar...

Is Ghost too good to reboot? Can anyone fill Swayze's shoes? Can the story be expanded on without getting too lost in the potential worldbuilding? You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com . You can join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe . Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her wor...

Guys, we gotta stop putting politics in spy thrillers. Or take them out. Either way, Tanner's getting really baffled at how no one's doing background checks. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com . You can join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe . Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew,...

Practical Magic is an amazing movie with only a few things that bug Tanner, but there's a sequel coming out this year and they thinks that's a TERRIBLE IDEA! So they're getting ahead of things by starting from scratch, taking the original movie and turning it into a miniseries instead. With Lindsay they'll discuss the morality of love spells, curses that can be tracked through the town archives, a...

May the 4th be with you! We've completely rebuilt Rise of Skywalker from the ground up, including the name! It's Rise of the Taral now! Did you know the Sith have a language? Anyway, we're done with Star Wars now, until we decide to make an animated series to fill the time skip. All these new characters are gonna pay HUGE dividends. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @Lindsay...

Remember that middle-grade story from 2005 about some teens descended from figures of Greek Mythology who had to team up to fight Cronus and other Greek monsters? Well there were two, and Canada's Class of the Titans got it's lunch absolutely eaten by Percy. Lindsay's not surprised - it's severely lacking in ongoing plots or more than one villain or any kind of party balance - but she's confident...

There's no peace among the stars, but you know what there is? A lot of lore! That doesn't matter, except it kinda does? Fabby's here to teach us all about Warhammer 40k, the Imperium, Chaos, Femboiz, Puppy Girls - the works. And along the way we manage to make a mechsploitation roadtrip series! Fabby can be found on bsky @fabbybear.itch.io! You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay...

Dog Soldiers is a simple movie about soldiers fighting werewolves, but that does mean that some of it falls apart in the third act. Not to mention, it's such a simple premise that it's easy to either remake it or make a sequel...or maybe both? Along with Lindsay they'll discuss the myth of the alpha wolf, the difference between foreshadowing and just saying things, and likin' dags. If you'd like t...

We're at the opera tonight, despite Tanner's protests - but don't worry, Lindsay is gonna make sure everyone has context for what an opera even is (and why Napoleon's here). And after that, we're gonna reboot Puccini's Tosca! Listen to hear about a Hall of Fame Slimeball, doing the Full Gethsemane, and ASMR Hell Guest Starring John Noble. Thank you to @cwoodsart.bsky.social for being our phone-on...

We're really concerned about the children, y'all. They're being raised like veal, and it's absolutely hobbyless behvaiour out there. Good thing our guest Kit Walker is here to pitch some new (weird) (freaky) (Canadian) PSAs to the TikTok generation. We've got ways to encourage them to spend responsibly, be true to themselves, touch grass, and form their own opinions - not to mention a few to convi...

You know the saying - "there can only be one!" The Highlander franchise has shown this repeatedly, but apparently a reboot is actually getting off the ground now? Well whether that works out or not, Tanner's been challenged to figure out what a good Highlander will look like. They're starting with a movie framing the titular scotsman as an urban legend, but as Lindsay offers more and more options...

The legend of Tomyris (the legend) is kinda fascinating, but The Legend of Tomiris (the film) squanders those parts and manages to be really long and say very little about the title character or her people. Plus, y'know, there's just a dash of propoganda baked into it. But Tanner wants there to be a good film about this warrior queen, and Lindsay wants it to be a film that does justice to both par...

Mega Man Star Force 4 only got as far as a concept, but it's enough of a concept for Tanner to spin into a whole pitch and game summary (which is good, because Lindsay knows almost nothing about any Mega Mans). They'll set the teenage blue bomber against systemic corruption while also discussing Capcom's Broad-Strokes universe, fitting tarot motifs, and flirting with your situationship's tsunderes...

Let's get a little meta today. Lindsay's not quite remaking Jamaica Inn so much as paying homage to it, with the tale of a woman using the book as a guide to explore all the English lore and history in Cornwall. But with some local cultists being haunted by the past and detesting the future, will the young lady make it out alive? And does this story have room for animal ghosts, the knights templar...

Point Break is a patently silly premise executed shockingly well? Why are we rebooting this? Well, it's not explicitly gay and we gotta change that. But that's not enough for an entire episode, so we also have to figure out ways to do things differently without disrupting the hyper-heightened atmosphere. Along the way we'll discuss unexpected places to develop film tech, Buseys all the way down, a...

The Lady Vanishes seems like a real outlier among the rest of Albert Hitchcock's works - maybe because he didn't write the story, or the script, and only fulfilled it out of contractual obligation. But it's still pretty solid! Just very wacky and slapstick for what advertises itself as a wartime spy thriller with actual gaslighting and suspect love interest. She'd prefer to push it in a more reali...

Years ago, Not If I Reboot You First started a Patreon just to help cover hosting costs, but we ended up putting it on ice because we felt we couldn't come up with enough bonus stuff to warrant it, and because we were both in positions were we could pay for podcast hosting anyway. Nowadays - well, we can still cover costs, but NIIRYF has become part of the Corner Podcast Network, alongside Loser L...

Animorphs was so great that some people definitely tried to make their own in the 90s, and one of those attempts was Mindwarp! It didn't succeed nearly as well, but Tanner thinks it's worth revisiting it's various interesting moments and clear plot hooks that never got expanded on thanks to a clearly hasty order to wrap things up. Together with Lindsay they'll expand it into a full tv series, all...

Lindsay's Halloween episode is a little bit of a twist, as she's taking Terminator and looking at it through some new lenses, like Time Travel and Frankenstein. Can we break the cycle of bad parenting? Are we too queer to understand time loops and time spirals? And how will we address the Tron Ares Situation? This episode has no guest, but is inspired by a video from diamandahagan.bsky.social, and...

Oh hey, it's time for our new annual tradition, rebooting a season of Penny Dreadful! In the second season we had to deal with witches, porcelain dolls, and some really baffling character decisions. Can we rectify it with Dracula canon, interconnected character arcs, and normal sex? If you'd like to be on an episode, submit your pitch at https://forms.gle/DQiGdNRMFcz3po256 . Our cover art is by Al...

It's time for the annual Q&A! Sit back, relax, and listen as Tanner and Lindsay discuss rebooting bands, era specific media, and how to make cops not be cops. If you'd like to be on an episode, submit your pitch at https://forms.gle/DQiGdNRMFcz3po256 .  Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYou...

Girls just wanna have fun. And sometimes, to have fun? You gotta game! Emily is taking the cultural entity known as Ready Player One and starting from scratch because this isn't just any old Fortinitified nostalgic cash grab - this is one for GIRLS. It's got PONIES and SHE-RA and NICHE PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR. That's right, girls aren't like other girls. They're REAL, and it's never too late to becom...

Our friend Christina has returned with an observation: there are plenty of stories about what it's like to be a kid at the Xavier Mansion, but what if we got a story about what it's like being a teacher? For that matter, what if the teachers were actual teachers and not former X-Men shoved into that position? With that framework, Tanner and Lindsay are ready to create a handful of OCs and finally...

This is a little bit of a self-congratulatory episode, but we really did never get a chance to talk about everything that went into making our 200th episode! So now that we've got our sea legs back, let's take a moment to look at some various bits and bobs from Mikey Crichts and Billy Shakes that Tanner used to assemble this script, and a little bit of insight into the themes of the story that mak...

Tanner asked Lindsay to talk about her OT3 - no, her OTHER OT3. The one with Butch and Sundance! She doesn't think she can improve upon perfection (though Tanner would recommend changing the music), but she does want to expand on the third corner of the triangle - one Miss Etta Place, who...could be damn near anyone from that time! Allegedly. History is muddy. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew,...