Not If I Reboot You First!

Ah shit, here we go again. The tv adaptation of the Halo video game got cancelled just after they reached the titular Halo. How does our brother in Ryan plan on rectifying this? He's gonna make it take even LONGER to get there! Wait, what? Well, let him cook, and while he does Lindsay will ask about the messed up Spartan turbo-puberty and Tanner will determine which characters should kiss! Our cov...

The challenges return (for real this time) with Lindsay tasking Tanner with doing an updated remake of the 90s cartoon Mummies Alive! Tanner tried to avoid doing a deep dive but still came out of this with a RIDICULOUS amount of notes on this because a) so much of the show feels like wasted potential due to it only getting 42 episodes and b) it spent 42 episodes on NONSENSE and SLAPSTICK. And maki...

Revenge of the Fifth! That means it's time to do a Star War once again. This time, it's The Last Jedi, a movie that Lindsay and Tanner generally think is the strongest of the sequel films - except for all the parts that don't work. But you know what, we can pivot and rearrange some parts to make the themes actually make sense this time around (without capitulating to angry boys). Lindsay kills the...

...but he's finally returned to us! And he brings an age-old tale of a soon looking for his father, gathering friends, learning what it means to be a man, and...engaging in various minigames? Yes, Benny has recruited Tanner and Lindsay onto his crew to turn the story of Telemachus into a video game where we get a secondhand view of the Odyssey. There will be twists and turns, a rant about the Bron...

...but it's not that hard, y'know? Ever After High was a spin-off of Monster High about fairy tale characters, but as Harley makes clear it's also about fighting against conformity, choosing your own destiny, and girls being friends (honestly, huge). Lindsay and Tanner are gonna work with him to make this an actual full-length show, giving all these characters space to breath, looking a little mor...

Oh no, there's flesh on the gunpla too...Tanner's taking it back to the 00s with their requel of Custom Robo, which had one game famous for the massive plot twist halfway through and another game that...was also released in the states. But maybe we can combine these things, use the lesser-known plot elements to bridge the gap, and make it a little gayer? Of course we will, you know us. Our cover a...

Content Warning in this episode, and Drakengard by extension, for violence, war, mutilation, death, incest, cannibalism, and pedophilia. In this episode, Raena's here to explain Drakengard and the greater DrakenNieR franchise to us. It's...a lot. But the main thing is that she'd like to see if the first Drakengard game can be made fun to play, even though the slog of the original is kind of the po...

Do you have any idea how hard it is to reboot something with no TV Tropes page, no AO3 presence, and seemingly no fandom whatsoever? Well, Lindsay's trying her best with the Maisie Dobbs mystery series, which she definitely didn't fully imagine herself. She and Tanner will outline some ways to translate the first three books into a brief British miniseries, complete with hidden gays, cults, and......

It's time to reboot an edgy, hard-hitting teen mystery/medical drama...that aired on the Canadian equivalent of Nickelodeon? Yeah, Open Heart never had a chance, even with it's solid cast and cool (admittedly half-baked) ARG companion app. Lindsay's gonna help Tanner flesh out the good parts like it's inherent Gothic melodrama, a surprisingly good representation of schizophrenia, and a teen who lo...

What's the secret of The Secret History? It's that these characters all think they're the main character of a grand sweeping narrative, but in reality they're just rich kids who aren't as clever as they think they are, sucked into the vortex of an egomaniac language professor. But Lindsay's put together a plan for a miniseries that highlights just how unhinged the cast of Dark Academia's great gra...

Am I wrong though? Am I? It's the night before Christmas and we're taking on the classic tale of a special snowflake reindeer who's being barred from society because of certain physical aspects...huh, I wonder what the conservatives would think of this. Still, we can smooth some of the edges off of this - make it more applicable to today, stop Santa and his 8 Standard Reindeer from being culpable...

In our newest CHALLENGE EPISODE, Tanner's given Lindsay the task of creating the Cruella sequel we...don't really need, but we might deserve, even if Disnopolis would never let us take this close a look at 80s Cold War Fashion Authoritarianism. We also discuss what makes a punk a punk, the artist and their muse, and the umpteenth gay character. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work ca...

You ready for some FOOTBALL? Tanner wasn't, but Ryan and Lindsay are actual jocks so they're here to help them remake their second-favourite sports movie The Replacements. How can we keep the heartwarming idea of second chances and glory for glory's sake, while also making sure this movie doesn't hate Unions the same way that the original does? Listen to find out! Our guest Ryan can be found on Bl...

It's time for a CHALLENGE EPISODE! It's Tanner's birthday today, and they were given a topic by Lindsay to tackle on their own, and the challenge was 2000's Romeo Must Die! The film that turned Jet Li and the late Aaliyah into stars, a loose retelling of Shakespeare that can be tightened up...by stretching it out into a miniseries. We discuss how the the film resonates even more today, nepo babies...

What's one to do with a cursed film made by a nazi occultist? Stick it in your freezer! Or write a book about it, and Silva Morena-Garcia's Silver Nitrate is a super awesome read. But it's a book about film, and Lindsay really wants to make a film about film, so we're doing an adaptation of it! We discuss how to smooth over the few bumps we found, playing with the medium, why Nazi magic is all fak...

Oh naur! There's a slasher loose in the Australian film Cut and Kylie Minogue is right in their crosshairs! As Tanner and Lindsay combine their creative energies, they'll make some kind of ghost who's terrible at acting and remembering its cues. Also discussed are a head budget, cursed films, and a sharp orange. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our the...

Years ago, Once Upon a Time reached it's happy ending. But now we need a new show to annually reboot, season by season. A show with a plethora of public domain characters given a bit of a twist. Something spooky, something slimey, something a little bit gayer than the original (but doesn't wanna f***in' COMMIT!). We need something like...PENNY DREADFUL. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and he...

It has been nearly THREE YEARS since we did a Q and A episode! That's bonkers. We wrote a play, we left, we came back, we left again...but now the podcast has solidified, and what better way to cap things off than discuss our reboot white whales, who we're selling out for, and our breakfast hot takes. Did I mention my mother is here? Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found...

With 30 years of complicated backstory and powerful cards, it can be a little daunting to get into Magic the Gathering from any angle these days. Fortunately, Hasbro has just gone belly-up and we bought the entire IP for $20, and Sam has some ideas on how to start everything from scratch. He's going to make the story more approachable and play with tension on a meta-level, Tanner's going to find w...

HAHAHA NIIRYF, WELCOME...TO DIE! Ryan tags in to help Tanner and Lindsay put together the next Marvel vs Capcom game, regarldess of the disc space. It's a long hard road to assemble this roster...so much so that this podcast took two sessions to record and we did end up dumping a chunk of audio. But that's okay, because we only have the good stuff and the weirdos in this game. Plus there's a story...

Pirates of the Caribbean is dead. Pirates of the Caribbean will never die. But also, we can do whatever we want with pirates, and the Caribbean, and also lesbians! Disney means nothing! So join Lindsay and her first mate Tanner as they wreck some ships, make some mandatory Bond jokes, do a bit of a Bridgerton, and possibly get banned from Italian Wikipedia. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, an...

Kit Walker returns for this episode on Murder by Death! It was a 70s pastiche of 40s detective cliches, which means our reboot has to update the setting and the satire! Which brilliant minds are bumbling their way through a weird house (or office building?) Which weird author is using this film to get performer and dream-weaver on their wikipedia page? And who can do the best/worst Chicago accent?...

In 1975, 2004, and the not too distant future of today, Rollerball is a blood sport run by corporations to distract the masses. In 1975 it was a well-made film that came in too early to do interesting things with cyberpunk and the idea of celebrity, and in 2002 it was so mindless that the director was arrested. But if we can synthesize the themes, the vibes, the quality, and the pro-wrestling elem...

We've been studying spiders in the amazon with Jake, an we decided the best way to fix Madame Web is...well, the best thing about this episode is that you haven't listened to it yet, so we won't spoil it for you. What we can say is that Jake and Tanner got Stockholmed by this movie and Lindsay was just along for the ride as they talked about old movie prescriptions, Ocean's Spiders, and ol' Petey...

Step off Richard Rich, this is our show now. Swan Lake! A great ballet (if you're not a pleb like Tanner) with a lot of interesting backstory, and allegedly it was turned into an animated musical but that thing didn't have any of the original music so what's even the point? Lindsay's rebooting it into a new film that gives more agency to Odette and Odile, swaps Derek out for Siegfried, and gets we...