Lola Phoenix

Non-Monogamy Help

Society EN ↓ 186 episodes

Non-Monogamy Help is a relationship advice podcast for people in non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships. With the help of a therapist with over a decade of experience, your host Lola Phoenix, answers the questions your questions about rules, hierarchies, unicorns and more.

Author

Lola Phoenix

Category

Society

Podcast website

nonmonogamyhelp.com

Latest episode

Jul 3, 2026

Where to listen?

Podcasts in the app Replaio Radio Coming soon

Podcasts are coming to the app soon. Install now and be the first to see a whole new take on podcasts

Get it on Google Play Install for free Android 5M+ downloads · 4.8 rating iOS soon

Episodes

Episode 160 - What A Boundary Is 27.06.2025

How many times should you let someone violate your boundaries and can you rebuild trust after? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

Episode 159 - No Contact Metamour 13.06.2025

When you’re no contact with a nesting metamour, can you make a relationship with your shared partner work? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

Episode 158 - Hierarchies and Polyamory 30.05.2025

When your primary partner only wants to have threesomes other partners and not you, it may not be a good sign. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

Episode 157 - Solo Not Celibate 16.05.2025

Trying polyamory with a solo polyam person could be potentially difficult for a monogamous person. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http...

Episode 156 - Polyamory Obsessed 02.05.2025

How do you stop becoming just a little bit obsessed with reading about polyamory? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://betterhelp.com/n...

Episode 155 - Re-Release Hierarchies and Ethics 18.04.2025

Prioritising a long term marriage is unethical to many people, but what do you if that’s genuinely what you want to do? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

Episode 154 - Sharing Home With A Metamour 04.04.2025

Feeling like you have to make yourself scarce in your own home can get old very quickly. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://betterhelp.com/...

Episode 153 - Childhood Trauma and Polyamory 21.03.2025

How long should a partner wait for you to work through childhood trauma until you are “ready” for polyamory? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https:...

Episode 152 - Reddit Ashes 07.03.2025

Responding to the r/relationships question: My boyfriend wouldn't go with me to spread my father's ashes That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://betterhelp.co...

Episode 151 - Cold Metamour 21.02.2025

If your metamour is a little cold to you, when do you decide to tell your partner? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp...

Episode 150 - Q&A 31.01.2025

Questions for this week's Q&A episode include: - Any tips for long distance polyamory? - How do you deal with guilt over having a stronger romantic connection with one partner? - Could space away from a partner calm down polyamory related anxiety attacks? - How to deal with conflict of NRE when your partner takes so long to process feelings? - Any tips for people opening up after eight y e...

Episode 149 - Mono/Poly Relationships 17.01.2025

Everyone always wonders if it is possible to be monogamous to polyamorous person successfully. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . Looking for a way to better connect with your emotions? Dedeker Winston of the Multiamory podcast and dance/movement therapist...

Episode 148 - Children from Flings 03.01.2025

When a fling results in a different parent of your child, it might be difficult to know whether or not to involve the biological parent. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

Episode 147 - Dating Monogamous People 20.12.2024

Your partner doesn’t seem to mind dating monogamous people but you feel it’s not right. Can you actually change it? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://betterhelp.com...

Episode 146 - Polyamory to Avoid Breaking Up 06.12.2024

Is it a good idea to try polyamory just to avoid breaking up with your partner and are you insecure and traumatised if you're struggling to make it work? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

Episode 145 - Re-release Insecurity and Comparisons 22.11.2024

Episode 85 was titled Insecurity and Comparisons and was about being worried about having feelings about your partner interacting with pictures of others. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

Episode 144 - Polyamory FOMO 08.11.2024

What happens when you start off polyamory liking it but start feeling resentful towards your partner when they go on dates? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://betterhelp.com/...

Episode 143 - Experienced But Anxious 25.10.2024

What happens when you feel incredibly anxious about any new partner your partner has even though you are very experienced in polyamory? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://better...

Episode 142 - Finding New Partners 11.10.2024

You want your partner to be more supportive in helping you find more partners or being a better wingman because you’re struggling to find new partners in an open marriage. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link...

Episode 141 - Making Amends 27.09.2024

Everybody messes up in relationships but making amends isn’t always a one sided action. You have to work together to rebuild trust. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://betterhe...

Episode 140 - Q&A 06.09.2024

Questions for this week's Q&A episode include: How do I address friends who don't ask about or invite your partner to things? Friends who say they are supportive but only talk about that partner if you bring them up. How do I find out what I actually feel when my spouse is out with others? What do you do if you're feeling burnt out by emotional conversations? My partner is always r...

Episode 139 - Boundaries vs. Rules 23.08.2024

If you frequently don’t follow your boundaries with action, your brain could respond with anxiety because of the self-sabotage. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://betterhelp.com/non...

Episode 138 - Conflicting Routines 09.08.2024

Trying to work out intentional time together when life circumstances and sleep schedules get in the way without taking it personally can be a challenge. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http...

Episode 137 - Meta's Fault 26.07.2024

Your partner is making decisions about your relationship based off of your metamour’s feelings and resentment is building. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhel...

Episode 136 - Long Distance Sharing 12.07.2024

If you don’t want any other partners sharing your bed, is this jealousy or just a reasonable boundary? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠on my website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  for 10% off...

Listen to the Non-Monogamy Help podcast in Replaio

Radio and podcasts in one app - free, with no sign-up. Install today and do not miss the launch

Get it on Google Play

Replaio is not a podcast publisher; show names, artwork and audio belong to their authors and are distributed through public RSS feeds.