Lola Phoenix
Non-Monogamy Help
Non-Monogamy Help is a relationship advice podcast for people in non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships. With the help of a therapist with over a decade of experience, your host Lola Phoenix, answers the questions your questions about rules, hierarchies, unicorns and more.
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Episodes
Episode 185 - Relationship Anarchy and Autonomy 03.07.2026 17:00
Autonomy means freedom to make choices, but those choices have consequences for the people affected by them That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help . This episode is sponsored by the BeMo...
Episode 184 - Dating a Co-Worker 19.06.2026 29:39
Shrinking to make space in a partner's life only suffocates oneself and creates resentment that will eventually become unavoidable. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help . This episod...
Episode 183 - Disclosure and Privacy in Polyamory 05.06.2026 23:39
Sometimes the best way to address fear of missing out is to invite partners to share new experiences, rather than tell them afterwards. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help . This episode is spons...
Episode 182 - Permission in Polyamory 22.05.2026 22:56
Consideration means giving the reins over and allowing emotions to decide whether a partner is allowed to go on a date, which isn't fair. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is...
Episode 181 - One P*nis Policies 08.05.2026 30:32
Allowing a partner's anxieties to control behaviour is unfair not only to oneself, but also to the people being dated. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHe...
Episode 180 - From Cheating to Polyamory 17.04.2026 17:28
Unresolved betrayal needs to be addressed before moving forward into polyamory, or it will easily become a tit-for-tat situation. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by Bet...
Episode 179 - Disability and Non-Monogamy 03.04.2026 25:42
Partners and friends can help with the admin burden of checking accessibility. That's what mutual aid is all about. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Che...
Episode 178 - Relationship Anarchy for Newbies 20.03.2026 22:16
Two people could both be relationship anarchists and still not be compatible in terms of what they want or need out of a relationship. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by Be...
Episode 177 - What "Not Serious" Means 06.03.2026 25:37
It doesn't matter if you don't call your relationship serious. If you act as though it is, your brain will feel like it is anyway. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Chec...
Episode 176 - Hierarchy vs Life Partner 20.02.2026 22:09
Trying to figure out if polyamory is for you while dealing with new relationship energy can be a significant struggle. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my a...
Episode 175 - Re-release Not Good Enough 06.02.2026 18:00
Sometimes when your partner wants non-monogamy you can be left feeling like you’ve failed or not done enough. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate li...
Episode 174 - Kitchen Table Parallel Polyamory 23.01.2026 14:16
Is it possible to be kitchen table polyam and also have parallel relationships? Absolutely. There is no rule. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate li...
Episode 173 - Polyamory Chicken 09.01.2026 25:53
Your brain is telling you a lie: slowing down their relationship won't make your relationship safer. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at ...
Episode 172 - Forcing Kitchen Table 26.12.2025 24:00
Metas don't owe you friendship and how being too involved in their drama makes it worse. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at ...
Episode 171 - Deconstructing Monogamy 12.12.2025 22:26
Don't just follow the cultural script and behave like you're basically a monogamous couple with disposable arm candy. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at ...
Episode 170 - Dating Serial Monogamists 21.11.2025 31:15
All relationships end anyway. Some just come with a clearer expiration date than others. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at ...
Episode 169 - Marriage and Polyamory 07.11.2025 23:41
There is one throne and one person who can sit in that throne, and right now that's you—but you can be replaced. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at ...
Episode 168 - Kitchen Table Drama 24.10.2025 20:44
The hinge is not hinging, and then the two metas have to negotiate with each other like the hinge is a hostage. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at ...
Episode 167 - Surprise Polyamory 10.10.2025 26:19
You don't get told who you're in a relationship with. That's something you decide yourself. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at ...
Episode 166 - Exclusivity in Polyamory 26.09.2025 19:58
Just because you're secondary doesn't mean you should accept being treated like you don't matter. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at ...
Episode 165 - Re-Release Primal Panic 12.09.2025 22:56
This week I'm re-sharing Episode 104 on Primal Panic because it's one of the most popular episodes and you might have missed it! That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my a...
Episode 164 - Too Much Labour 29.08.2025 30:56
Stop carrying the entire mental load of your relationship while your partner coasts on your effort. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at ...
Episode 163 - People Pleasing in Polyamory 15.08.2025 41:46
Are you people pleasing to the point where you think you've over corrected but really, you're under-correcting? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at ...
Episode 162 - Setting Real Boundaries in Polyamory 01.08.2025 25:51
You should never have to ask, 'What if someone crosses my boundary?' Because the boundary, in and of itself, by definition, should include what you will do if it is crossed. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This epi...
Episode 161 - Bedtime Relationship Rumination 18.07.2025 25:52
Why your brain processes relationship conflicts at night and how to break the cycle without exhausting your partner. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at ...
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