Lola Phoenix
Non-Monogamy Help
Non-Monogamy Help is a relationship advice podcast for people in non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships. With the help of a therapist with over a decade of experience, your host Lola Phoenix, answers the questions your questions about rules, hierarchies, unicorns and more.
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Episode 193 - Recovering from Cults 30.10.2026 19:17
Not wanting an anchor partner, cohabitation, or kids doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you, especially when you’ve spent your whole life saying yes to things that didn’t feel good. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help...
Episode 192 - Long Distance Priority 09.10.2026 25:46
A partner with a long-distance, hierarchical dynamic wonders if wanting dedicated phone calls and a family introduction is asking too much. It isn't. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help...
Episode 191 - Cheating, Not Polyamory 25.09.2026 27:05
Repeated cheating, gaslighting, and coerced sex get dressed up as non-monogamy. On telling the difference, setting a boundary, and when to bring in outside support. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help...
Episode 190 - Anxiety Misfiring 11.09.2026 24:45
Anxiety about a partner's other relationships isn't a malfunction. It's a fear shaped by a monogamy-centric upbringing. On self-compassion, control, and what you can actually manage. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help...
Episode 189 - Pre-Approving Partners 28.08.2026 21:39
A partner accused of cheating despite following the rules asks how much control is too much. On confronting, consenting, or cutting ties with a controlling agreement. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help...
Episode 188 - Coming Out Later 14.08.2026 23:36
A crumb seems like a feast to someone who's starving, but the meals you actually deserve change what you're willing to accept. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help...
Episode 187 - Ex Becomes a Metamour 31.07.2026 22:57
Take the Beducated quiz and sign up with my link here: https://beduc.at/pd2627-lola No relationship is inherently safer than any other, and trying to control every possible outcome only breeds the fear it's meant to prevent. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Mono...
Episode 186 - Communication Versus Gaslighting 17.07.2026 28:14
Telling someone they're wrong when they see withdrawal of affection is gaslighting-adjacent, even if unintentional. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help . This episode is sponsor...
Episode 185 - Relationship Anarchy and Autonomy 03.07.2026 17:00
Autonomy means freedom to make choices, but those choices have consequences for the people affected by them That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help . This episode is sponsored by the BeMo...
Episode 184 - Dating a Co-Worker 19.06.2026 29:39
Shrinking to make space in a partner's life only suffocates oneself and creates resentment that will eventually become unavoidable. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help . This episod...
Episode 183 - Disclosure and Privacy in Polyamory 05.06.2026 23:39
Sometimes the best way to address fear of missing out is to invite partners to share new experiences, rather than tell them afterwards. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Non-Monogamy Help . This episode is spons...
Episode 182 - Permission in Polyamory 22.05.2026 22:56
Consideration means giving the reins over and allowing emotions to decide whether a partner is allowed to go on a date, which isn't fair. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is...
Episode 181 - One P*nis Policies 08.05.2026 30:32
Allowing a partner's anxieties to control behaviour is unfair not only to oneself, but also to the people being dated. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHe...
Episode 180 - From Cheating to Polyamory 17.04.2026 17:28
Unresolved betrayal needs to be addressed before moving forward into polyamory, or it will easily become a tit-for-tat situation. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by Bet...
Episode 179 - Disability and Non-Monogamy 03.04.2026 25:42
Partners and friends can help with the admin burden of checking accessibility. That's what mutual aid is all about. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Che...
Episode 178 - Relationship Anarchy for Newbies 20.03.2026 22:16
Two people could both be relationship anarchists and still not be compatible in terms of what they want or need out of a relationship. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by Be...
Episode 177 - What "Not Serious" Means 06.03.2026 25:37
It doesn't matter if you don't call your relationship serious. If you act as though it is, your brain will feel like it is anyway. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Chec...
Episode 176 - Hierarchy vs Life Partner 20.02.2026 22:09
Trying to figure out if polyamory is for you while dealing with new relationship energy can be a significant struggle. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my a...
Episode 175 - Re-release Not Good Enough 06.02.2026 18:00
Sometimes when your partner wants non-monogamy you can be left feeling like you’ve failed or not done enough. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate li...
Episode 174 - Kitchen Table Parallel Polyamory 23.01.2026 14:16
Is it possible to be kitchen table polyam and also have parallel relationships? Absolutely. There is no rule. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate li...
Episode 173 - Polyamory Chicken 09.01.2026 25:53
Your brain is telling you a lie: slowing down their relationship won't make your relationship safer. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at ...
Episode 172 - Forcing Kitchen Table 26.12.2025 24:00
Metas don't owe you friendship and how being too involved in their drama makes it worse. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at ...
Episode 171 - Deconstructing Monogamy 12.12.2025 22:26
Don't just follow the cultural script and behave like you're basically a monogamous couple with disposable arm candy. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at ...
Episode 170 - Dating Serial Monogamists 21.11.2025 31:15
All relationships end anyway. Some just come with a clearer expiration date than others. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at ...
Episode 169 - Marriage and Polyamory 07.11.2025 23:41
There is one throne and one person who can sit in that throne, and right now that's you—but you can be replaced. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website . This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at ...
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