No Time to Not Win

Stothton discusses the recent ransomware attack on Colonial Pipeline with Jack Tetherton and Jack Walshman. If anyone at Colonial Pipeline wants consultation from my reverse-hacking team just contact me and we can set something up. No worries, it would only be a couple million per hour at most.

Stothton discusses the U.S. healthcare system with Gordon Temple, a consultant who is very unhappy with the current state of the system, and Dr. Olden, Stothton's childhood dentist. All I'll say is if you're looking for a dentist I would steer clear of Dr. Olden. But, if you want some laughing gas he can probably hook you up.

Stothton discusses proper gasoline containment with Jack Tetherton and Jack Walshman. Consider this episode a PSA, because clearly a lot of people have no understanding of gasoline. Guess what, it's a corrosive and volatile substance that's designed to explode inside your car's engine, so stop trying to store it in crappy plastic bags and buckets. Next week we'll go into more d...

Stothton discusses corporate jargon with Bill Chafton and Jack Walshman. It's very simple, never use any of the terms mentioned in this episode. If you do, you're an insecure pleb and you're definitely fired.

Stothton discusses the Johnson and Johnson vaccine pause and subsequent reinstatement with political advisor Jack Walshman and scientific advisor Jack Tetherton. Like damn near everything, the problem ultimately comes down to people and optics. If people had any real sense, none of the vaccines would even be necessary and Coca-Cola's stock would be soaring.

Stothton discusses gender reveals with Hermes Claywater and Timothy Larson. Hermes is staunchly against gender reveals while Timothy wholeheartedly supports them. In fact, Timothy seems to be so enamored with these things that you could almost call it radicalization. Regardless, this Timothy guy thinks he can take out my building just to show the world he's having a baby girl. What a moron...

Stothton discusses Star Wars with Jack Tetherton and Bill Chafton. Let's get straight to the point, stop deluding yourself into liking these big-budget movies and tv shows just because you're "supposed" to like them. By and large, Star Wars just isn't good and anyone who is truly honest with themself knows that Episode 1 is the best Star Wars movie.

Stothton discusses some game-changing ideas for handling traffic violations with his personal mechanic Chase Walluhz and political advisor Jack Walshman. These ideas may seem fishy at first, but just keep listening. I don't think I'm being immodest when I say that in less than 30 minutes we basically developed a path to fix this entire country and all it would take is professional hoonin...

Stothton discusses the reports that Amazon workers are peeing in bottles due to overly demanding working conditions and sparsely placed bathrooms with political advisor Jack Walshman and an Amazon insider who chose to remain anonymous. There's no need to worry guys, Amazon's working conditions actually maximize the health and fitness of their workers. The workers supposedly peeing in bot...

Stothton discusses automotive "hooning" with his personal mechanic Chase Walluhz and Peter Sofdie, a crossing guard. Some people say hooning is reckless and dangerous, but I say hooning just means driving in a manner that's not boring and stupid. Basically, hooning is not a crime and after Peter takes a ride in my Porsche I'm sure he'll agree.

Stothton and Jack Tetherton discuss the recent earthquakes that hit Japan. Between earthquakes and tsunamis, Japan is having a pretty rough go of it. All I can say is we need to talk to a real seismologist because our current earthquake prediction capabilities are disgraceful. On a side note, Japan let me know if you want to move your island...I might be able to make that happen (for a nominal fee...

Stothton discusses climate change with scientific advisor Jack Tetherton and "Mr. W", a climate change denier. Remember, regardless of how much you believe yourself to be correct about any issue, it's important to hear all sides and be open to the possibility of new information causing your views to change. With that being said, Mr. W has some pretty wild views that I personally fin...

Stothon discusses zoom etiquette with Bill Chafton and Jack Walshman. This is one of the most important things you will ever hear, so open up your brains, and if you have committed any of the infractions discussed here (you know who you are) you better correct yourself.

In the spirit of Easter Sunday, Stothton discusses Easter traditions with two guys who work in one of my buildings, Thomas Jeremiah Clearwater and Saul Smith. Believe in Jesus or bunnies or whatever nonsense traditions you want, but one thing we can all agree on is that the egg hunt is the most important part of Easter.

Stothton tries (and fails) to discuss potholes with two guys I found roaming around in my building, Alex and Dick Ranger. Alex is some blogging moron who I suspect is mentally challenged and Dick is a mason with anger issues. I think we can all agree that potholes are the absolute worst thing on the planet and maybe next time I'll actually get to discuss a potential solution with some guests...

Stothton discusses snow with Larry Charleston and Tim Dithers. Found these guys online and they apparently love snow, although there seemed to be a misunderstanding about what was meant by "snow". Let's be honest, this episode went sideways on me, but if anyone is looking to invest in a new business venture these guys have some pretty wild ideas for dealing with snow.

Stothton discusses pizza toppings with twitch streamer Keith Summers and expert coconut handler Simian "Grace" Cthulhu-khan. Keith basically summed it up; pizza is a vessel for meat and cheese and anyone who uses it for any other purpose (I'm talking to you Simian) needs to be dealt with. Excuse the quality, my jet was running late so I had to conference in from the stratosphere. Do...

Stothton discusses NFT's (non-fungible tokens) with tech reviewer Bill Chafton and political advisor Jack Walshman. Let's be clear, NFT's are meaningless and something only idiots take seriously. That being said...I just invested fifty million dollars into NFT's.

Stothton discusses 5G again, but this time with average consumers Charles Ginkler and "Matty Boy". Folks, all I'll say is this is exactly why I listen to experts like Jack Tetherton.

Stothton discusses the pros and cons of the 5G wireless standard with Jack Tetherton and Jim Smithdgin.

Stothton goes another round with Bill and Provine about the Google Pixel 5 phone.

Stothton discusses the Google Pixel 5 phone with Bill Chafton and Provine Something Something Blah Blah (let's see you try and spell this guy's last name...).

Stothton compares the new Xbox and Playstation video game consoles with tech reviewer Craig Slims (Chafton was busy). We recorded this episode shortly after the consoles were released, but then I forgot about it...so you're getting it now.

Stothton discusses cat scratchers with Francis McGill III and Moreen Love. Moreen runs numerous cat sanctuaries and Francis...well...it turns out he just has a very unhealthy number of cats. Either way, Moreen gives some very useful information about cat scratchers, and Francis will be very useful...as a cat scratcher.

Stothton discusses books with Liam Gaffer. Liam is a museum curator and an avid book collector. This guy really loves his books. Seriously...if you have a good book you better be very careful around this guy. If you see gloves I recommend you run.