No Such Thing as Normal

In the past decade, neurodivergence has become far more visible in Aotearoa. But awareness is not the whole story - the real question is whether neurodivergent people and their whānau feel truly seen and understood. There will always be gaps in services, funding and support. But not every change depends on a budget. Some begin with how we see neurodivergent people, how we listen to them, and wheth...

Anxiety, depression, chronic stress and low self-esteem are common co-occurring conditions for many neurodivergent young people. But are these struggles caused by neurodivergence itself, or by trying to fit into environments that don’t work for them? Child and adolescent psychiatrist Darryl-Lee Prince says not only is she seeing more school refusal and shutdown, but also more complex present...

If you - or your child - is neurodivergent, it can often feel like the world doesn’t always take you seriously. The challenges might be huge, but they’re largely invisible, and often unpredictable.  So life can become a cycle of apologies and explanations. But advances in science are beginning to change this. In this episode we look at some of the important research happening here...

For many women, perimenopause brings more than just hot flushes. The impact on their cognition and mood is so extreme it feels like the chair has been pulled out from under them.  Strategies that once held everything together stop working. Anxiety spikes, brain fog sets in, and confidence takes a hit. In this episode, Dr Rachael Sumner discusses why hormonal changes can hit ADHD brains harder...

Neurodivergent young people are more likely to question their gender identity, and it can be a confusing and confronting time. Not just for the individual, but also for their loved ones. The support and validation of families is vital, but many feel unprepared; struggling to even navigate things like the role of pronouns.  This episode gives some insight into the unique way a number of autist...

Why do so many neurodivergent people struggle in the workplace; even when they are highly capable? In this episode, Sonia speaks to workplace strategist Rich Rowley about why modern workplaces value one narrow style of thinking, and how that can leave ADHD, autistic and dyslexic employees exhausted, ashamed and underperforming. Rich argues neurodivergent people are not simply workers who need acco...

Isabella* is just 22, but she’d been living with severe contamination OCD for eight years. It had taken over her life - touching people, objects, even parts of her own home, felt dangerous. Every interaction came with a cost: hours of cleaning, sanitising and rituals. In this episode we follow Isabella’s story. From a life ruled by OCD to her experience with a revolutionary therapy: th...

ADHD is being talked about more than ever.  But for many, life still feels harder than it should. Even with a diagnosis there can be a lingering sense of “Why is life still so difficult?” In this episode, Sonia speaks with ADHD coach Alex Campbell, to find out what we’re missing. Alex says ADHD brains are motivated by interest, not importance. But the world expects the oppos...

In this episode, Sonia Gray speaks with 12-year-old Benjamin, whose extraordinary creativity sits alongside the challenges of dyslexia. His mother, Gretchen, reflects on the hidden effort behind his learning, and what changed when his strengths were recognised and understood. Dyslexia advocate Dean Bragonier returns, making the case that strengths-based education is not just better for individuals...

For many dyslexic children, school is where self-doubt begins. Literacy and numeracy sit at the centre of how ability is measured, so it doesn’t take long for kids who struggle in these areas to absorb the message that something is wrong with them. And this extends beyond dyslexia. Many neurodivergent learners - including those with ADHD and autism - have strengths that sit outside the narro...

Parenting a child with ADHD, autism, Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), Pervasive Demand Avoidance (PDA) or sensory challenges can feel unpredictable. One day everything is fine. The next day it isn’t. Food they ate yesterday is suddenly rejected. A fun outing becomes overwhelming. And sometimes it all ends in a meltdown. Perhaps your child doesn’t have a diagnosis, but it&rsquo...

ADHD stimulant medication use is rising in New Zealand, but questions about safety and side effects remain - as does the stigma surrounding these meds. In the first episode of Season three, Sonia Gray explores what ADHD medication actually does - and what it doesn’t. You’ll hear 11-year-old Tilly take her morning pill and describe, in real time, how it changes the way she feels. Sonia...

We all know what Tourette’s is - or we think we do.  But this is a condition that is largely misunderstood and routinely misrepresented. Only around 10% of those with Tourette’s syndrome have the ‘swearing tic’ - coprolalia.  But the other vocal and motor tics can be just as debilitating. In this episode, Sonia speaks to Tiktok sensation, Leighton Clarke - aka Uncle Tics. He now embraces his Toure...

A diagnosis of ADHD, autism or dyslexia is merely an indication that your brain works in a different - and exciting - way. So why are the rates of co-occurring anxiety and depression so high for neurodivergent people?   In this episode, Sonia talks to 16-year-old Emily Martin, who has ADHD, dyslexia and dyscalculia.  Emily suffered from intense anxiety and low self-esteem throughout her primary sc...

Dyspraxia (or Developmental Coordination Disorder) is more than just a difficulty tying shoelaces or riding a bike.  It impacts almost every aspect of life, and the effort to carry out basic tasks can be exhausting. Sonia talks to Bayley Garnham, a 24 year old Personal Trainer, who has dyspraxia and dysgraphia. Dyspraxic kids often give up on sports early, but Bayley wants to change that.  He beli...

The parents of kids with neurodifferences face multiple challenges. But while navigating a broken system is exhausting, the constant scrutiny of your parenting can be worse. In this episode, Sonia talks to TVNZ’s 1News at 6 presenter, Melissa Stokes and Newstalk ZB Host, Francesca Rudkin about advocating for their children. And researcher Willow Sainsbury, explains why the go-to suggestion of ‘par...

Parenting a neurodivergent child is wonderful, but it’s challenging.  Often, it can feel like the only people who understand are other parents on the same road. In this episode, Sonia talks to Francesca Rudkin, who had to navigate life with a daughter in crisis, before ADHD was identified. We meet members of the ‘Dad’s Autism Support Group’ in Auckland who all have kid...

The rates of ADHD and dyslexia in prisons is staggering.  But these same neurotypes are also more likely to be successful CEO’s and entrepreneurs.  So where is the fork in the road? What leads someone down the wrong path? Sonia Gray talks to Ricky Wakelin, a kind and gentle father-of-two. In the early 2000’s Ricky’s life had spiralled out of control. He was addicted to hard drugs and was eventuall...

It’s very difficult to get by in society when you don’t use words to communicate.  Non-speaking autistic people tend to be invisible, unless they are ‘causing a problem’.  Olympic rower Eric Murray is father to 12 year-old Zac, who is autistic and ADHD.  He talks to Sonia Gray about the challenges, the joys and the desperate need for support and understanding. Guests:  Eric Murray Anna Middleton -...

Many autistic people have spent their lives masking, but it’s an exhausting and inauthentic way to live. Now, as understanding around neurodivergence grows, many autistics are choosing to ‘unmask’ and embrace their differences. Autistic comedian Abby Howells has found success as her authentic, ‘unmasked’ self on stage. The things she used to hate about herself are now working for her.  And she wan...

In this episode Sonia Gray finds out how vital people with dyslexia are to the survival of the human race  - they're the explorers, creative thinkers and problem solvers. She talks to poet and playwright, Dominic Hoey, who has written award-winning books, despite his reading challenges. And dyslexic researcher and champion, Dr Ruth Gibbons, talks about the importance of movement for dyslexics.  GU...

Dyslexia has long been thought of as that thing that makes it hard to read - and people are often made to feel dumb because of it. But we're learning more and more that reading and writing isn't really an issue. In fact some dyslexics read brilliantly - before they even start school - it's just once they're in the classroom they're lost and left behind in a curriculum that doesn't work for them. I...

WARNING: This episode does contain explicit language  Autism and ADHD were always thought of as mutually exclusive conditions, but in recent years it’s become possible to get a diagnosis of both.   Now, more and more people are recognising they have traits of both autism and ADHD, commonly known as ‘AuDHD’. But because of the opposing nature of these neurotypes, ‘AuDHD’ can feel like an internal ‘...

WARNING: This episode does contain explicit language  There’s been a sharp rise in the number of adults seeking ADHD assessments, and for many a diagnosis can be the answer to a lifetime of struggle. Musician Anika Moa was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago. She tells Sonia Gray about the mental health battles she’s endured, and the positive changes a diagnosis has made to her life.  And ADHD coa...

The whirr of an air conditioner; the feeling of socks on your feet;  the sound of other people breathing:  Sensory challenges are arbitrary, but they can cause acute distress. In this episode, host Sonia Gray talks to three guests who experience the world in BOLD And Sensory Integration Specialist, Elen Nathan, unpacks what’s happening in the eight sensory systems, and how we can best support thos...