Nightly News Roundup

Trump announces his tariffs will go into effect tomorrow and the stock market takes a shit, Russian state media are openly celebrating Trump's loyalty to Putin, Musk, Trump, and Vance signal they want out of NATO and the United Nations, those tariffs that caused the market to falter are likely to crush American farmers, and the FA Cup of Darts kicks off in the thriving metropolis of Minehead, Engl...

Trump and Vance bring out their inner grade school cafeteria bully, Russian state-owned media outlet TASS allowed access to the White House, and the U.S. now offers green cards in GOLD! And the Sec Def ordered the U.S. Cyber Command to stop their efforts against Russia. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trump says he doesn't believe he called Zelensky a dictator after definitely calling him a dictator, Musk agrees to an interview with Jon Stewart the timer until Musk backs out starts now, FBI Director Kash Patel wants to partner with the UFC so he can watch sweaty, jacked dudes in boxer shorts wrestle, and measles, AKA Patriot Polka Dots, hits Kentucky. All that and more, plus sports desk comment...

Musk takes center stage at first cabinet meeting then gets hit with a paternity suit, GOP prepares to end town hall meetings after dealing with something called accountability, and Patriot Polka Dots, also known as the measles, claims its first victim in the U.S. in ten years. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The White House can't stand the idea of a free press, farmers intend to sue the government for climate data, Rep. Jasmine Crockett fires a round at Musk, and 21 DOGE workers quit citing Musk as a corrupt force. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The U.S. chose sides with Russia and North Korea at the U.N., Musk said the weekend email was a prank, hackers uploaded a video of Trump sucking Musk's toes in the Department of Housing and Urban Development, and a former cop, turned miracle-cure-pushing, conspiracy theorist podcaster is now number 2 at the FBI, a steaming number 2. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trump plans to attend Russian victory parade with Putin, and tells Maine's Governor "I AM THE LAW." DOGE wants to send everyone a $5,000 check, and an ICE prosecutor in tells announced "I am a fascist." Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trump whines that his life would have been rough had he not been elected President/King then has the Resolute Desk removed from the White House, the Senate confirms a man who hates the FBI as the head of the FBI, and the DoD apparently hates its veterans. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trump declares himself King of America, Musk declares he's found wasted American money then pockets it, KFC declares they're ditching Kentucky for Texas, and Don Jr., declares his backing for the Steroid Olympics. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trump capitulates, lifts sanctions against Russia, Putin wins because Trump is a coward. Europe regroups and determines U.S. to be an adversary, Trump voters scramble to find news jobs, possibly new living spaces, in Canada perhaps, and the measles outbreak spreads to New Mexico. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trump tells the Supreme Court he's the king and he'll go without pants if he wants to, the GOP introduced a bill to make Trump's birthday a national holiday, DOGE prepares to access all IRS data, President Musk wants to throw all of the 60 Minutes production team in prison, and the EPA's Environmental Justice Office is officially KAPUT. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Valentine's Day Federal Massacre Edition! A Russian drone bombed the protective shell over Chornobyl, and Trump later demanded the firing of nuclear engineers, Cheeto-in-Chief hung his mugshot up inside the White House, measles in on the rise again as MAGA also means Measels Again, Goofy Americans. All that and a snippet of AUSA Hagan Scotten's resignation letter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/pr...

Russia asks Musk to turn over names of aid recipients, a U.S. aircraft gets involved in a hit-and-run, a brain-worm having, dead-bear-leaving, heroin-using, anti-vaxxer now runs American health, and Rep. Lauren Boebert and Kid Rock give each other herpes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The State Dept. earmarks $400 million for armored Teslas, Rep. Nancy Mace blew up the House flew with allegations of abusing and trafficking women, the SecDef tooks sides with Russia, inflation is on the rise again, and Trump is, as always, unhappy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The GOP wants to rename Greenland to Red, White, and Blueland, 17,000 federal employees fight for 4,000 parking spots, Trump admin wants to neuter "lower IQ trash," Associated Press out because they won't say Gulf of America. Neither will we. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trump dismantles the Consumer Protection Agency, no protection for you, come back in 4 years. VP Vance either hates or doesn't understand the Constitution, TB is on the rise in NC, and Trump is preparing to turn Palestine into a resort. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The VP wants Musk to rehire his racist employee, DOGE is now accessing nuclear weapons, Trump is mad Musk made the cover of Time, FBI Director Kash Patel is probably on the take, and Trump wants to annex Canada because his wife has a lady boner for Justin Trudeau. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

DOGE employee quits over racist posts and deleted accounts tied to eugenics, the White House is prepping to cut thousands of healthcare jobs, pardoned Jan. 6 felons are being arrested for child sex crimes, EPA workers have been placed on admin leave, Tuberculosis is on the rise, and America has entered a new Gilded Age; it's not 1885, it's 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more info...

Trump pisses off the entire Middle East, a 25-year-old has full access to the U.S. Treasury, Mitch McConnell fell down some stairs not once but twice and is now using a wheelchair in clear violation of anti-DEI policy, and a blind man secured a concealed carry gun permit. All this and more nonsense from your government. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cuban journalist and Trump supporter is on his way to GITMO, FBI agents are suing to keep their IDs private for fear of retaliation, Canada and Mexico halted tariffs by promising shit Biden already negotiated into place, and a sincere apology to Rosa Parks on her 112th birthday. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trump considers how best to murder the Dept. of Ed., Sec. State Marco Rubio now runs USAID, Trump establishes a sovereign wealth fund to buy Tik Tok, Canada says "Fuck off!" to tariffs, and we're preparing to leave the Human Rights Council. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trump announces tariffs, Dow Jones falls 337 points, and everyone has forgotten about the Smoot-Hawley tariff. Trump also cans the head of the consumer protection agency, because consumers can go to hell, Federal websites go dark, and Tuberculosis is on the comeback trail. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

FBI agents are shown the door, Musk strong-arms his way into the Treasury, Tariff War gets spicy, State Department blocks passports, and news from the NBA and MLB. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On Op/Ed piece on Donald J. Trump and his swim trunks, plus a word from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Adults. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The U.S. government opens concentration camp, Trump announced he's deporting 30,000 immigrants to GITMO, Musk to be launched into space to recover astronauts, RFK Jr. perjures himself, and Pete Hegseth demonstrates he doesn't know what DEI actually is. All that and a special tech news segment from Bert McBytesalot. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.