Nightly News Roundup

The Trump Administration has plans to attack Mexican cartels with drones, and he also plans to sign an executive order bringing back coal as a major industry, China released an AI video showing Americans slaving away in a sweatshop. Trump and his DUI hire Hegseth want a trillion-dollar defense budget AND they want Netanyahu to be appreciative, they REALLY want him, Musk and Trump's trade advisor a...

Trump orders a four-mile military parade for his birthday, Russian state media thanks Trump for "breaking capitalism," Belgian police arrested Secretary of State Marco Rubio's diplomatic shift supervisor after he fought with his hotel staff and responding cops, Trump is fighting to keep a deported man who did nothing wrong imprisoned overseas, seven GOP senators signed a bill to limit Trump's econ...

Trump bails on dead U.S. soldiers returning to the U.S. at Dover Air Base, opts instead to golf with Saudis in Florida as the markets tank, oil prices fell 7% because OPEC bet against U.S. energy, federal unions sued the federal government in federal court, Sec Def Pete Hegseth moves to cut the Army by 90,000 troops and civilians, and the market closed with more than $6 trillion in loses. All that...

Trump fulfills his promise of lowering egg prices... err... nest egg value, GOP Senator Kennedy tells CNN "We're all dead," Treasury Secretary pleads with other countries not to retaliate against U.S. tariffs, Senate confirms Dr. Oz to head Medicare and Medicaid while they still exist, and the Pentagon's inspector general opens an investigation into Defense Secretary Hegseth's Signal app usage, es...

Musk spends millions on the Wisconsin Supreme Court election and loses HUGE, powerful GOP lawyer flips teams because he's had enough of Trump's shit, Joe Rogan goes rogue and denounces deportations without due process, two GOP reps introduce a bill to restore collective bargaining rights, Texas Congressman Keith Self openly quotes Nazi minister of propaganda, and Trump grows angry with RFK Jr.s' s...

House Speaker Johnson throws his sucker in the dirt, takes his ball, and goes home, Oklahoma sends bill to committee that would effectively bring back shock therapy and lobotomies, the U.S. admitted to a rare mistake in arresting and deporting a U.S. citizen, VP Vance blames the Biden Administration for a 2019 legal decision even though Joe Biden wasn't President in 2019, and Musk visited the CIA...

Americans express shock over Trump's comments about having a third or even fourth term, Musk says the Wisconsin Supreme Court election will decide the fate of humanity, DOGE gained access to the pay system for 300,000 federal workers as Trump bans federal work unions, Tennessee banned chemtrails and measles has spread to five states. Why? It probably has something to do with the huge illiteracy ra...

Trump moves to re-white history at the Smithsonian, Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan signed a historic border agreement and we only hope the U.S. and Canada do too, Vice President Vance visited Greenland and the Danish press was blocked from the media pool despite the fact Greenland belongs to Denmark, Ted Cruz compared Signal intel spell to butt dialing, and once again, the Dow Jones is down more than 7...

Attorney General Pam Bondi said there will be no criminal inquiry into the Yemen attack planning over an unsecured app, Elise Stefanik is no longer in the run for UN ambassador, the Commander-in-Chief didn't know that four of his troops were killed in Lithuania, VP Vance cancels his Greenland trip because no one wants him there, and foreign countries are urging their citizens not to visit the Unit...

White House press sec says there's no classified info in the classified information leak, Trump appointed Elon Musk to investigate the leak... because OF COURSE he did, Democrats showed up and flipped some seats in the fine commonwealth of Pennsylvania, White House officials left their damned Venmo accounts open, because OF COURSE they did, and Tulsi Gabbard got caught in a grip of lies. Hosted on...

The Democrats finally arrived in Washington to skewer the emojis used in the now infamous national defense chat, House Speaker Johnson mulls eliminating federal districts in an effort to avoid accountability, flight data reveals Trump's Middle East advisor was added to the Signal chat while hanging out in the Kremlin, and Trump wants to exchange Fort Knox gold for cryptocurrency. What could possib...

The Secretary of Defense can now add "Caused the largest national security blunder this century" to his list of five things he accomplished this week. The President is complaining about an unflattering portrait of him, the Vice President is a gelding, Attorney General Pam Bondi is attacking drug dealers while the most powerful person in D.C. is soaked in ketamine, the Senate is scared of the Presi...

The billionaire Secretary of Commerce says Social Security recipients can afford to miss a check, Trump is offering to buy the Wisconsin Supreme Court election for a $100 per person, Boeing won the contract for the new F-47 fighter jet in honor of Trump... F-47... yeah. F 47. Musk is outraged that his briefing for the U.S./China war plans was leaked, and a new DOGE/Project 2025 tracking website is...

Trump was publically shocked his 19-year-old son could turn on a computer, and then he signed an EO ending the Department of Education. A dude got into an armed standoff outside CIA headquarters, Germany and the UK issued travel warnings about visiting the U.S., and the Commerce Secretary begged Americans to buy Tesla stock. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

RFK Jr. wants bird flu to spread to poultry farms for bizarre reasons, Trump continues to dismantle the National Park Service, the government released the JFK assassination files and Oliver Stone is furiously masturbating, Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski says the GOP is afraid of Trump and we say NO SHIT! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

MAGA state senator arrested or soliciting sex from a 16-year-old girl, Chief Justice John Roberts rebukes Trump, MAGA responds by rebuking Roberts, Israel goes back to bombing Gaza because ceasefires are boring, and an NNR feature report. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

France said they want the Statue of Liberty back, the Trump Administration ignored a judge's order regarding a deportation flight, Sen, Schumer delayed his book tour because he was off-put by things with actual spines, and the Trump Administration also wants to pay other countries for eggs. We also have a new website that tracks Congressional stock trading: https://www.quiverquant.com/congresstrad...

It's International Pi Day, so let's get irrational. Arlington National Cemetary removed links on its website for minority and women veterans, the Broligarch in Chief Elon Musk declared Ukraine is to blame for all the hate he's receiving, Trump is expected to invoke the 1798 Alien Enemies Act, and he also announced negative reporting of him is illegal, which means Nightly News Roundup is fucked! Ho...

Trump demanded plans to take the Panama Canal by force, then he later threatened to take Canada and Greenland by force in front of the NATO chief, Musk shared a Tweet excusing Hitler and Stalin from their crimes against humanity, and Musk installed a TV in the White House so he can play video games. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trump calls Senator Schumer a Palestinian in an obvious effort to get him deported, Musk tries to buy a Wisconsin Supreme Court seat, Fox "reporter" Jesse Waters claims Canada threw the first punch, RFK Jr. says EVERYONE should get the measles, and we give you a partial list of words banned from federal documents for being "woke." Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trump says boycotting Tesla is illegal, violently boycotting Tesla is terrorism, and Americans must support the Broligarch in Chief. All this while his Secretary of Energy says renewable energy is a quasi-religion and calls on more reliance on fossil fuels. The U.S. was also placed on the Human Rights Watch List, a dubious badge of honor, and the Department of Education staff will be locked out of...

Monday Mayhem! Pete Hegseth says climate change is crap as climate disasters pillage the globe, Musk called Sen. Kelly a traitor for visiting Ukraine, with a measles outbreak going on, Texas' Lt. Gov. focuses on the priority: dropping New York from New York Strip because New York is too liberal, and Musk blames a cyberattack on Ukraine ten days after Hegseth ordered a stop to all Russia cyber plan...

Trump threatens massive tariffs on Russia, but who's he kidding? The GOP reportedly asked Musk if they could vote on DOGE cuts... they asked a private citizen if they could vote. DOGE efforts to sell of federal property brought them to a CIA black site in Northern Virginia. Apparently, they thought black site was a DEI term. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trump thanked his crony Chief Justice John Roberts on a hot mic last night, then set Marco Rubio up as a patsy once this house of cards tumbles, anti-vaxxers are pissed at RFK Jr. for realizing measles fucking kills people, MAGA moves to murder Social Security and a bunch of its oldest supporters, and John Cena FINALLY turns heels just as his old boss readies to powerbomb the Department of Educati...

Boston starts an EV party by torching half a dozen Tesla charging stations, Trump's tariffs have gone into effect predictably tanking the American stock market, Canada retaliates and the trade war is on, shitheads in Texas are holding measles parties, and shitheads on the Supreme Court reduced restrictions on how much shit is allowed in our drinking water. All that and more on this entirely necess...