My Intimacy Therapist

Episode Notes Themes: date nights, relationship maintenance Here's the thing about date nights: if you just "go through the motions," you might be missing the mark on actually adding to your relationship. In this episode, we chat about ways to be more intentional with the type of date night you go on with your partner. PLUS: if you like the work that I do and are interested in a unique e...

Episode Notes Themes: trust, sexual intimacy, infidelity, communication issues, vulnerability When speaking of broken trust, affairs often get the primary focus. However, there are so many other ways that trust can be broken. You may be in a situation where your relationship is overall positive, but then something happens within your sexual relationship that causes broken trust. You may wonder whe...

Episode Notes Themes: avoidant attachment, anxious attachment, dysfunctional cycle, self-fulfilling prophecy, self-sabotage, passive aggressiveness, cognitive distortions Yes, your significant other is doing (or not doing) so much to damage your relationship. BUT, is there any possibility that some of your actions may be feeding the cycle and creating a self-fulfilling prophecy? What would happen...

Episode Notes Themes: communication issues, sex, sexual intimacy , avoidance, anxiety If you feel anxious or avoidant when it comes to communicating about sex, then you likely have a difficult time letting your significant other know when you are displeased by something during sex. This episode is meant as a beginner's guide to breaking past the anxiety and starting to talk about your sex life! Ne...

Episode Notes Themes: conflict resolution, communication issues, affection, anxious attachment, overwhelmed, stress management, avoidant attachment There are seasons of life that simply overwhelm us. It could be that everything is good and positive between you and your significant other, but life's demands (children, work, family drama, etc.) can intrude on your blissful state. What do you do when...

Episode Notes Themes: sex therapy, mismatched desire/libido, busyness, relationship sabotage There are a billion reasons that a couple might say their sex life is stuck: busyness and "it doesn't feel organic" are probably top of the list. This episode is meant to change how you think about this state of stuck-ness... and how to move past it. Next Steps Work with me: https://calendly.com/...

Episode Notes Themes: counseling, couples therapy, sex therapy, communication issues Is finding a therapist part of the reason why you haven't started therapy yet? If so, I get it! Episode Resources Find a Therapist: Psychologytoday.com Find a Therapist: American Board of Christian Sex Therapists WORK WITH ME: ]( https://calendly.com/sadeferrier/ ) [ https://calendly.com/sadeferrier/

Episode Notes Themes: mindfulness, low desire, low libido, fantasy, sex therapy If you have trouble letting yourself think intimate thoughts or feel arousal, this episode is for you! It is a "light" mindfulness meditation to help you take one small step into the arena. This visualization is not erotic in nature, but rather takes a more open, non-directive approach that invites you to get...

Episode Notes Themes: sexual intimacy, low desire, low libido, anxiety, control issues, Type A personality If you are used to being the "project manager" of life, then it is highly likely that you have trouble letting go and enjoying intimacy. This episode outlines practical ways that you can release control and anxiety in your intimate life. Work with Me Book a consultation at myintimac...

Episode Notes Themes: avoidant attachment, low desire, low sex drive, intimacy issues Be honest: are you avoiding sex with your significant other? There are many reasons that engaging with sexual intimacy can be unappealing in a relationship. This episode explores some of the possible reasons... and how to start addressing the issue. Work with Me Visit myintimacytherapist.com to book a free 15-min...

Episode Notes Themes: sexual intimacy, communication, relationship issues, sex therapy, low desire Your ability to directly communicate what you like about intimacy - both to your significant other and to yourself - is HUGE if you want to get on the same page in your sex life. So challenge yourself: do you know what you like and why ? Work with Me Book a consultation at myintimacytherapist.com Fol...

Episode Notes Themes: relationship anxiety, relationship ocd, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, dating anxiety, new relationship, self-sabotage Do you feel constant, intense urges to end your relationship? Or feel your brain being hyper-critical of your partner - even though you feel that they are safe and a good match for you? If so, the term "relationship OCD" or "relations...

Episode Notes Themes: comparison, avoidant attachment, perfectionism, relationship advice, relationship OCD In your most well-meaning attempt to gain guidance and clarity, you ask a close friend - or maybe even Google - about your deepest relationship uncertainties or fears. But sometimes advice-seeking can become a repetitive compulsion to seek reassurance or "normalizing" of your relat...

Episode Notes Themes: fear, anxiety, control, self-sabotage, controlling tendencies, anxious-attachment, disorganized attachment, avoidant attachment, intimacy If you (or someone who knows you) would describe yourself as being a "controlling person" at times, this episode is for you. Obviously, you want to feel good in your relationships. But maybe you're having a hard time noticing how...

Episode Notes Theme: anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, secure attachment, new relationship, dating, self-sabotage in relationships, relationship OCD So, you've been on the dating scene for a hot minute. You have aaalll the horror stories of dating apps, ghostings, toxic relationships, or even some well-meaning situationships. But here you are; you have met a signifi...

Episode Notes Themes: communication issues, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, self-help, personal growth, relationship issues You are the type of person to see a problem and solve it. You do all the research on your emotions, your relationship, what you should/shouldn't do...and it has been helping! But up to a point. You're hitting a wall because your partner won't do their work. They won'...

Episode Notes Themes: criticism, negative self-talk, protest behaviors, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, communication issues, shame, relationship issues, low self-esteem The way that you choose to speak and think can create a personal prison, trapping you in a life that you don't even want. Let's talk about why this is damaging, and how to change it! Work with Me Click "subscribe&quo...

Episode Notes Themes: anxious attachment, reassurance sex, anxiety, avoidant attachment, intimacy Have you ever used sex as a means to get the emotional closeness that seemed to not exist outside of the bedroom? If you realize that you want emotionally intimate, relational sex but have been caught in a whirlwind of sexual encounters where you feel anxious about your connection with the person - th...

Episode Notes Themes: sexual fantasy, sexual shame, purity culture, low libido, low sex drive, intimacy, relationships If you have trouble thinking about yourself or your partner in a sexual way, it can be hard to integrate intimacy into your relationship. You may feel a "block" or even a complete separation from that part of yourself. This episode speaks to what fantasy is, and how you...

Episode Notes Themes: therapy, counseling, change, conflict resolution, communication issues, resentment, relationship issues So, you made it to therapy! You know I'm really excited for you. But there's a common frustration that many clients have when sitting next to their partner in the office: (a) my spouse is being fake in front of the therapist, or (b) why is my spouse changing so quickly when...

Episode Notes Themes: sex drive, mismatched libido, high sex drive, low libido, communication, relationship issues So you are annoyed by your partner's high sex drive. Maybe it's the way they initiate, or they way they touch you. Either way, your interest is beyond low - and has even potentially gotten to a place of resenting them for their persistent need for sex. In this episode, we begin by exp...

Episode Notes Themes: low sex drive, low desire, libido, communication issues You know that your drive is low - but what do you do about it? This episode is focused on what you can do to understand and address the mental or contextual blocks to your drive. PLEASE NOTE: the medical and physiological aspect of your drive are very important components - though not discussed in this episode - and shou...

Episode Notes Being proactive about your relationship is a great way to get ahead of any hairline fractures that could lead to deeper issues if unattended to. I love a good yearly (or quarterly) check-in to see how your relationship is doing! Next Steps Subscribe to the My Intimacy Therapist Podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Book a free therapy consultation at myintimacytherapist.com

Episode Notes This is for your wellbeing as well as your significant other's: remember to be grateful. There are two sides to this coin. Sometimes it is difficult to remember expressing our gratitude... but other times, it can be challenging to receive our partner's expression of love and affection. If you struggle with either, this episode is for you! Next Steps Subscribe to the podcast on Apple...

Episode Notes Relationships are hard - and even harder when you are in your 30s and 40s and have a heavy history of baggage, breakups, and unhealthy patterns that you carry with you. I stumbled upon our guest's work while scrolling through TikTok and becoming captivated by his format for illustrating the anxious-avoidant dynamic that we often experience in relationships. They were skits of shorts,...