My dog will eat my face

The trumpets have sounded, and the horsemen have been set free on the land. Except, I have an extra 5th one for some reason. In this brief podcast, I provide a medical update, and some unnerving symptoms that may be signs that the end is nigh (for me, not you, or maybe you too? I have no idea, I'm just a podcaster).

Some of my friends and family have challenged my atheism in the last few weeks, when referring to being able to turn around a dreadful crisis that I was in. However, I think another aspect is what truly helped me to see things through, as I attempt to explain here, and conclude it is a far more attainable and liberating strength that any one of us may share...

As I fight to regain my hospice coverage, while an emotional shooting range, I tried to use a strategy I outlined in Episode 30 on "game theory" in real life, and come to interesting results.

Be forewarned, this podcast will truly test your patience and ability to listen to my incessant rants. But, as Virgil once said, "All things can be mastered through endurance." So it is true here as well! Although I discuss "game theory," I can demonstrate that it applies also to real life, and it leaves me with a very dark, but perhaps unmoving, conclusion.

I fight for my rights to receive treatment needed to stay alive for as long as I can, despite a terrible event exercised by what can only be described as a sociopathic entity.

Further updates to my long battle for my hospice rights and care. If you, or someone you know is in hospice, pondering hospice, or similar situation, this podcast may be quite useful. Or not. You get what pay for, after-all. Your current balance due is zero. Although, I would accept a real large goose egg. That'd make my day. Dunno why.

The day I utmost feared has now come and passed. With it, some fears, but new challenges present themselves. Gee.... just like every other day in life!

Many things have changed in recent weeks, very suddenly, and not giving much hope. The quote used in the title here, I use with hope that I too am as mistaken as Frederick.

While I provide weekly updates as best I can, I think it's prudent to take a step back, and observe how my condition has changed over the past months or even years. Some observations may be surprising.

After planning a podcast topic this week, I was thwarted at the last moment by an unfortunate event. It's high time I provide the necessary disclaimer: I'm a freak of nature.

Well, I finally got what I've been asking my hospice team for, for many years. Blood work. I didn't get all of the results that I wanted, but what I did get is not unlike being pardoned for your planned execution by quartering, but rather being told you merely only have to endure abacination.

In this podcast I find myself struggling with anger, which has been tearing me down for years. I need to thwart this anger, and not turn to savagery.

I've learned one important thing in my life, and that is to say what you need to say to others when you can. It's not only good best practice, but an obligation we all have.

I dared to have a short conversation with someone who seems to cherish and love their drama and victimhood. How they responded surprised me.

I explore recent issues where I find myself lamenting the loss of my own identity. I question if I need to redefine myself, or has that not really changed?

I originally planned to not record any podcasts during the holidays, but had to squeeze one in after hearing perhaps the most naive and asinine theistic phrase for the entire previous year.

I'm normally quite "the Grinch" or "Scrooge" this time of year. But, even with physical problems, I seemed to find heaps of laughter and joy. It's not too hard to find. My secret; I'm too lazy to be sad or angry for more than a couple days.

I had a conversation with a hospice nurse I never met before, and she asked how could I be at peace with death. I couldn't give any abbreviated answer, but here is my subsequent attempt to do so.

I share three impactful moments in my life that are prime examples of ableism, a concept I long shunned because it sounded silly to me. But moreover, I resisted any labeling that may cast me as a "victim." Well, I was wrong. Very wrong.

In the episode published close to Thanksgiving, I share a different perspective that I have formulated over the years where having gratitude does not stop at the end of positive experiences.

A continuation of my last podcast, where I try to address the emotional issues that I experience in my long decline with Congestive Heart Failure.

When I begun this podcast some time ago, I composed an episode of what it's like to die of congestive heart failure (CHF). Having now been several years into this long transition, I think this topics could be more accurately addressed today.

Despite worsening health issues, which I will discuss with some brevity, I wanted to share the details of those who I adore with all my heart and who, even now, is the best part of my life.

We all have this occasional feelings if miss opportunities, and "what ifs" - how we may have missed a chance to improve our lives, even if fleeting. I had such a moment recently, but here I share how I have, actually, made the right choices in life.

I abhor victimization, and have never fallen into the trap of relinquishing that power over my happiness to others. Despite fleeting temptation, don't do this. And I'll explain why.