Mistakes Were Made

Should non monogamous parents be "out" to their kids? In this episode Sarah and Alex ask different parents about their approaches to sharing their relationships with their children – from secrecy, to involving secondary partners in parenting – then share mistakes they've made in balancing their feelings and dating schedules with what was developmentally appropriate for their kids. Mentioned in the...

Sarah and Alex talk about the jealousy and panic that comes up when partners are on dates or trips with others, the roots of those feelings, and how rituals of connection and communication can help. Oh, and also how the film ET is a meta text for polyamory(?) Mentioned in the episode: https://www.reddit.com/r/nonmonogamy/s/2HFb3BywGM   https://www.reddit.com/r/nonmonogamy/s/8SvfUvZord "Recovery ca...

Alex's partner leaves him for monogamy, sparking a conversation about cowboy-ing, triangulation and attachment. Mentioned in the episode: PolyPhilia:  https://www.instagram.com/polyphiliablog/ Attachment Panic, the album by Alex & Sarah's alt country band: https://open.spotify.com/album/2zrOxbFLVA4Y4L3m9Cjamq mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Is non-monogamy actually a sustainable lifestyle – or is it just an experiment? Sarah and Alex reflect on how the novelty of having an open marriage has worn off after three years.  Reddit conversation re changes in non-monogamy styles over time mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Season 2 finale! Sarah and Alex try to stump each other with research into some of the most common myths and misconceptions about non monogamy. mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ More about us: Bloodstar band:  https://ffm.to/bloodstarattachmentpanic | [ Listen to Bloodstar on Spotify ]  Sarah's website:  https://www.sarahstuteville.com/ Making Contact:  https://www.r...

Sarah and Alex talk with friends and ethical nonmonogamy role models Zack and Madeleine about maintaining a polyamorous partnership for the long haul, and making out with cute German guys. mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Sarah and Alex talk about the lies they have told each other…and themselves. Also, the patriarchy and whatnot.  mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Mentioned in the episode: All about love , by bell hooks

Sarah and Alex talk to Eli--a transmasc drag performer and progressive policy wonk--about Seattle drag, Texas BBQ, coming to non-monogamy during the pandemic and how to live our "Big Blob Best Lives." mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ More from Eli: https://www.instagram.com/sirloinseattle/   Mentioned in the episode: http://kenyonhall.org/ (All ages drag show May 12...

We're back! Sarah and Alex talk about race, representation, and the benefits of being the weird kid with author Kevin Patterson. mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ More from Kevin Patterson: https://www.kevinapatterson.com/ https://unfuckyourpolyamory.com/ Love's Not Color Blind by Kevin Patterson For Hire series by Kevin Patterson https://polyrolemodels.tumblr.com/ *...

Why do men tend to date younger women? Do all the same gender inequities play out in non-monogamy as in monogamy? Will Sarah and Alex finally figure out how to smash the patriarchy? Part one of a series about how inequities show up in non-monogamy (we think...) mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Mentioned in the episode: SNL skit about parents opening their marriage:...

Let's talk about sex (or die trying)! Sarah and Alex finally attempt to actually discuss sexual dynamics in non-monogamy without laughing or crying. mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ An actually useful explanation of how to play the three minute game (since ours went so sideways): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KCzpNBNbVM&t=80s Or download the pamphlet here: https:...

Real life unicorn Cassidy joins the show to talk about the joys and complications of three way relationships, and the importance of L shaped couches. mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Meeting people – especially ENM/poly folks – is easier than ever thanks to dating apps. So why do we hate them so much?  Sarah, Alex and Jessica swap embarrassing app stories, dig into the dirty secrets of the online dating industry, and give advice for successufl technology assisted non-monogamy.  mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/   Stats we quoted wrong: Modern Rom...

When non-monogamous couples fight, going back to monogamy can feel like an easy solution. But Sarah and Alex discover that there's a core conflict in their relationship that's illuminated by dating others, but isn't caused by it. mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

A weekend retreat with a friend reminds Sarah that non-monogamy isn't just about sex. Opening/closing quote from Kai Cheng Thom:  https://kaichengthom.com/ Ban on co-living:  https://www.kansascity.com/news/local/article260770552.html It's your friends who break your heart:  https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2022/03/why-we-lose-friends-aging-happiness/621305/ https://www.instagram.com/m...

How can sex workers help people exploring non-monogamy? Are all sex workers polyamorous? Is sex work inherently dangerous? Seattle Sex Worker Vaughn Wolff joins the podcast to talk about the intersections between sex work and polyamory, and answers all your burning questions. Find Vaughn at SeattleConfidant.com and instagram.com/thevaughnwolff mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mis...

Am I Queer Enough?? Special guest and poly pro Madeleine joins Sarah and Alex to talk about mixed marriages, bi erasure, and that sexy armpit hair on those anarchy cheerleaders in that one Nirvana video. mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Did we just get dumped!?! Or did we just 'de-escalate' our relationships? Sarah and Alex share some changes to their, ahem, relationship landscapes, and talk about how endings are different in non-monogamy.  Bonus: Sarah explains that whole 'attachment style' thing everyone is always talking about.   mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Season 2 is dropping next week! Get ready for more conversations with Sarah and Alex about breakups, queer erasure, couples privilege, and more! Got an idea or a question? Hit us up on instagram: @MistakesCast

Thinking about opening your marriage? This episode is full of advice from long-term couples who have transitioned to non-monogamy: common mistakes to avoid, arrangements that seem work best, and genuine guidance from folks who have been through it.

Sarah and Alex revisit a past infidelity. Jessica wonders if non-monogamy is an 'answer' to cheating in a relationship. Will and Jada stop by for a tearful conversation about continuing their marriage after a breach of trust. Will & Jada clip on YouTube mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/   https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/   * mistakescast@gmail.com  

Really America, forced preganacy?? What's next? Sarah, Alex and Jessica talk about the intersections between reproductive justice and non-monogamy: How free are we to define our own morality and make our own choices? Why do we cede these choices to government or religious authorities? What happens when those authorities lose their legitimacy? NPR on Abortion access impacts on men: https://www.npr....

"But why tho?" A lovingly skeptical friend presses Sarah and Alex on their decision to open their marriage and gets all her nonmonogamy questions answered. Featuring Seattle artist, author, executive director and podcaster Reagan Jackson. Y-We *  Reagan's website *  South End Mixtape https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/   *  mistakescast@gmail.com

"Philosophy's Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" talks about the amatonormative scripts, mental health and her new book introducing the concept of eudaimonic love. That's a lot of $5 words, but don't worry, we also talked about fish sticks and nursery rhymes.   https://www.carriejenkins.net/ https://twitter.com/carriejenkins https://www.instagram.com/_carriejenkins_/   https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/   ...

A weekend retreat with a friend reminds Sarah that non-monogamy isn't just about sex. Opening/closing quote from Kai Cheng Thom: https://kaichengthom.com/ Ban on co-living: https://www.kansascity.com/news/local/article260770552.html It's your friends who break your heart: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2022/03/why-we-lose-friends-aging-happiness/621305/ https://www.instagram.com/mist...