Midnight Wisdom

20:37 26.01.2024 Went to the gym after work and meditated. Then I felt extremely tired and that I didnt want to work out. I stretched and did good exercises while listening to sub urban, foam rolled, then went home and recorded (after grocery shopping). I reflect on the week.

00:32 20.01.2024 In bed after eating and brushing my teeth. I love that I feel so safe around my parents. I love that they love me. I love that they know me through and through and still choose to love me this much. It hurts a bit to know I have to go back. But I’m grateful that it worked out so smoothly to come and be here. I remember how smooth it was on the day of my flight.

23:30 14.01.2024 mama is sitting in front of me. She told me she cried all day and my coming here didn’t make her feel comfortable. But she loves me. It’s so easy to get into useless circles with people we love or want to love. And my heart closed somehow and I don’t want to force it to open. And I don’t want to keep telling my mother to change.

Recorded 11:25 pm before my flight to Amman last night on the 7th of Jan. Arrived at 4 am at 08.01 (Amman time). Unfortunately didn’t have internet for longer than 30 mins at the airport and I forgot to upload. Upload now on 11:13 pm 08.01.2024 (Berlin time). My watch is running on Berlin time while my phone is running on Amman time. Interesting to keep both in check because my sleep pattern is mo...

31.12.2023 writing this on 01.01.2024 19:19 pm. Ashraf and I went to the gym, came back home, made him a hot bath and food and then we played ps4. He was carrying too much and I wasn’t so comfortable. So much for unconditionally loving people. I think she should finish his training and his degree. He asked me some weird things and I found him generally much more disconnected than before. Wanted to...

22:23 31.12.2023

09:36 24.12.2023 Sitting in a new apartment. Recording early in the morning. Should head out to the gym soon. I dislike so much how coffee effects my sleep. I see how much actions hurt people like my mom, people I shouldn’t hurt. And yeah, I’ll hopefully see her well in Amman.

19:26 17.12.2023 I think out loud and cook (a few days ago), then reflect without much talking about the day I’ve had. That’s the vibe I’m in.

12.12.2023 trying to find my wallet to put the credit card

10.12.2023 23:27 sorry this one’s short

٠٣.١٢.٢٠٢٣ الاحد I was inspired by Arabic news casters to record my day and thoughts in that style.

27.11.2023 I want to make you a salad. With spinach, tomatoes… walnuts and a little vinegar. And then I want to hold you.

23:14 26.11.2023 Sunday Second time I wake up with loss of coordination. Started headspace anxiety meditation again and it’s helped a lot. Spending time with friends is really valuable.

19.11.2023 23:34 I sent Mousa an 8 and 2 minute voice note. I went dancing twice this week. Love the teachers. Met Felix on Friday and had a good bro down. Went to a demonstration yesterday but it wasn’t for me. I went home and started writing a new book. I was supposed to go training with my new housemate today but woke up with a sore throat. On Thursday there was this guy who was wearing a white...

22:38 Sunday 12.11.2023

21:34 Tuesday 07.11.2023 The palestinian flag fell on me at 2:59 in the morning last night. I’ve been standing much taller these days.

23:30 05.11.2023 a few poems I recorded just now.

22:28 28.10.2023 I spoke to Dan at Golden gate and told him his set online was better than in person “what happened man :)” but I didn’t even listen to it. Wrong dj. We spoke about the pyramids and he recommended 2001: A space oddessey

23:54 22.10.2023 I say a lot of what was on my mind since two days ago. I’d rather not try.

18:54 22.10.2023 I did my 8th jump. Solo jumping out. Ran into Anni on the way back home, she invited me to a “Liebestanz” so let’s see how that’ll go. On my way now. I’ve lived for 9,993 days today. Let’s see how we heal.

23:27 15.10.2023 Sunday Watching Lupin after hanging with Ashraf and drawing Vernons house and thinking.

19:20 08.10.2023 I decided to record myself writing with my webcam and Rode Mic. At some point I acknowledged how really angry I was at my dad, being in the hospital, starting smoking again, not calling any of us when he was alone and only sending us angry shit. I didn't tell any of my friends or colleagues about this and was carrying it with myself for two weeks almost without venting at all....

01.10.2023 23:47 I went to a horrible full moon circle. The facilitation was horrible. Tea ceremony facilitator had a panic attack. The other facilitator made everything about herself and some stupid singing. Makes me think how things might go if I make my own circle. I wish to utilise my rage more, it’s a powerful tool. Shaved my beard about 40 minutes ago and left it as a goatee with a lighter m...

24.09.2023 Sunday 23:17 I am happy about myself and my progress. I wonder about my psychological health.

21.29.2023 Sonntag ich habe mehrere Aufnahmen auf Deutsch aufgenommen. Die fragen die ich mich zurzeit stelle: wie wird die Welt in 30 Jahren aussehen. Scheint für mich als ob das eine die wichtigste Fragen ist. Ich versuche noch die richtige Sachen zu schreiben und sauber zu denken. Was sonst? Mutter ist gut und in Palestina. Geschwister sind auch gut.