Midnight Wisdom

12.06.2020

10th of June. 2 days till 24.  I woke up early, in a time period where it's always bright. And I hate the lack of balance in that. I hate a lot of the patterns I've been going through lately, of thoughts, in work, with the phone, with things.  I see this rage reflecting into damage that goes straight into me. I cut my hand breaking a plate.  Fuck everything. I didn't even care to re...

It's the 6th of June 2020. And the main circulating topic in my being right now is my back. It's been hurting for so long now. 3 and half months of not moving properly, not being able to stretch completely and wholeheartedly, not being able to exercise completely, getting tired quickly and feeling a damn stinging pain at the core of being so often.  At first I prided myself for being able to...

01.06.2020 I was a little high in this one. Fell off a chair from the start. That's what reflections are about. That's what all these are about. My states at certain moments, certain memories.  They pass, they change, they fade. But I'm still me. I decided I'm going to start a community. The Branch. I met some wonderful people, Eric and Charla.  I'm here.

24th of May 2020. I noticed I tend to try to internalize different states that I find relevant to where I am at the moment. Right now, it's presence and being able to hold on to larger amounts of tension without being fazed by any of it. Without flinching. Let freedom reach its form because of your ability to contain it. 

Internalizing the state. Pure of being. Of awareness and truth.  I write it down, I react to it no longer. I remove my shackles, and I find myself pure with momentum, pure with force. A core burning with inner-peace.  "Keep your attention. Boredom is a lack of attention."  "It's fine." "It'll come back to you." "I don't know what I won't." "I will no longer hold on to sand."

21st of May 2020. I breathe. Sitting on the bench behind my apartment in Oberland after throwing the trash. Wearing my grey long sleeved T shirt. I started with Arabic, and ended with thinking about how we can really fundamentally change systems, to no fruitful conclusion. Prophet Mohammed began his message at 40 and died at 63. If I asked Alan Watts he’d tell me I worry too much. Jesus would tell...

17th Of May 2020 I went to the old guys place yesterday, he almost forgot who I was, but then made it clear he didn't want much to do with me.  Finished filling an entire notebook with dreams. Insane. I always think about how I could write them differently, because words can only say so much. I draw the space the dream happened in a lot of the time. Let's see.  I wrote in my green (bio)l...

14th May 2020 And stay with it.  No matter what you feel, when you know where you are is right, you learn and you find a way. Sometimes you feel you can’t breathe, other times all you find is air. What’s the difference between the two really. In and out. In and out. I was holding a leaf when I recorded this, I usually do when I'm taking walks. Makes me feel centered and calm again somehow. Li...

I saw an old guy in front of my appartment carrying bags and barely being able to walk. I help. I leave. He falls.  Breathe. And let him breathe.

And if it happens, if I happen to leave this life before I finish what I feel I need to, it's alright.  It wouldn't bother me if the reality of the life I believe in applied to me.  I'll try to keep my mind free of unnecessary attachment. From the idea of knowing. I will try to keep my beginners mind. One free of judgement, and always open to the potential of a hopeful future. 

"To be a king is but a curse you have all mistaken to be the only blessing." "Here we are, reinforcing our own realities." Here I am, keeping up and strengthening my foundations. I'll talk more in detail about how I'm working towards my goals and habits in another one.  Take care.

It felt like a reflection. I loved doing this one.  I missed a point, I'm going to live like I'm living till I'm a hundred. I'll always try to be a good person. And I'm very glad that I'm doing this.  I'm just trying to experience all of this as fully as I can.

The mic in front of me. A fan to my right. Two notebooks to my right. Elephant and deer.  The mop arrived from amazon today. I get to clean my floor properly for once. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe yeah.  Smoke to Mo Owais today about my communication idea, I thought it was a really funny interaction coming from him.  life doesn't need to be difficult. We don't need to suffer before the...

I got to catch up with Ahmed "Meso-Paq".  A teacher, an athlete and a badass. A very nice badass.

I sit on my bed, cross legged with a slightly tilted back, with the microphone in my hands as I breathe. "What is my deepest wisdom?"  "What is my deepest truth?" "Am I listening enough?" . "What is your deepest wisdom?" "What is your deepest truth?" "Are you listening enough?" . To be the divine masculine essence. To obtain the divine feminine essence. To reach balance with both. To know my...

We talk about ourselves, our lives, a business idea. Nothing in Particular.

I’ve been remembering my time in Madrid lately. Exactly two years ago, broke and in internal pain I couldn’t understand. It was sunny, and I was trying to connect but I really couldn’t. I got out of it with the ability to approach anyone, Spanish, and Johannes. I talk about the opportunities rising as things shift and people realise we can do things differently. A lot of potential, but how am I go...

A reflection of what I am, and what this podcast is. Promises I make to myself and anyone listening. Absolute integrity. Detachment from images. Being truthful to my being.  Reading the whole, seeing it all, with a glance, with feeling. The experience. The only truth is the one we experience. Until it isn't anymore.  Understanding Intelligence: A Framework to Being will be finished by my...

Sifted through a lot.. Changed a lot of things. 22nd of March.  It's a good time.

My brother was always a big part of the ideal I strived towards. He was unnecessarily rude to me the other day over texts. Who knows why. I reflected on it, after writing out my feelings for him in a 3 thousand words letter, that was often rude and inappropriate, there was no use in sending that to him, when all he deserves is love. And a little straight talk. I only sent it when it felt right to....

Elite. Dreams. Writing. Lifestyle. Brother.  Reflection.

When a word travels faster than a disease.  When a global effort comes into effect to halt a common enemy. When Isolation becomes the norm.  Toilet paper is the answer.

Hassan Al Wer. Beer. Pushups. Contanze Jordan.

My uncle died two weeks ago. The job is going well.  I'm on a good path.  I just need to own myself more. Take myself more seriously.  My perspective has value.