Midnight Wisdom

27.06.2021 10:49 Pm states do change. And I reflect on what I listened to from a few days ago, and what has happened since.

Recorded Tuesday 22.06.2021 I had to remind myself I’m Ok, while I was writing The Vessels of God. It was therapeutic, as I sat in my reclining Ikea chair. Naming it all. A moment of interruption to listen back. But it’s just about patterns, naming them, feeling like you have to satisfy certain things in yourself before you can move on to something higher. Sometimes it is fine, really. And you nee...

Recorded Friday 18.06.2021 11:50 PM I start this off with a little Arabic because I feel like it and it is my native tongue, and then I describe my time in Greece and current experiences. This is one of the longer episodes I do where I go through the different things and feelings that I went through and happened. Really opened up my creative gates again in its own way. I think, maybe, the only thi...

11.06.2021 3:59 am. Good night good morning.

06.06.2021 Funny, I watched a little bit of "The Notebook" right now, half of it, and they both met on the 6th of June 1940. It's 2021 now. Good movie, so far.   All the best to you. Withhold your tension for a little longer, and see what it does.

Recorded on Monday, Tuesday and Sunday. Small moments. Integrity, rally, and gadgets. It sure does that I am screwing with my attention for no reason.  Focusing on things that do not matter. Waking up late hoping that I would feel more awake and alive but feeling thrown in the rythms of all that's wrong to begin with. What is it that I am doing wrong. I do wish to have fun.

Recorded 29.05.2021 10:37 pm Holy shi' it's week 135. That's a lot of weeks. And it isn't stopping. Was smoking from a pipe (not something I do often but I do have 5 pipes now..) and writing. Then I decided to sit and record and use that as a creative outlet. I'm glad to have done what I've done and I'm happy to see my relationship to creation develop and evolve in this way. Life is life, and I'm...

23.05.2021 Smoked a ciggy. Was zen then I wasn't (shocked face emoji)  I'm not all that deep. 

Not an entirely new identity. It's just important to read what you've written. Reflection on that, and bringing it into you in the way that it needs to be brought. This podcast is the life of an enlightened being going forward towards a higher self and higher consciousness. More peace and love internally.  I will reflect on myself well and properly. In all of the different forms that I am doi...

I am terrified of being abandoned, and it's completely fine that I feel that way. It's alright. And I get to feel what I feel.  It's me. And it's alright.

Recorded 16th of May 2021. A Sunday at around 9:45.  It's nice to follow conviction and to scream your mind and thoughts. I hope the best for Palestine and its people.  It's important to remember that there are people out there, family, that are suffering, and I'm here, grateful for where I am.  And it's a question I'll always ask, 'how best can we solve a problem.' and if there's a...

07.05.2021 11:12 pm. Friday. I ordered pipes, and they sent me viagra pills instead of one of them. I never asked for this. What operational f*ckup would cause this?

07.05.2021 11:06 pm. Friday. Sometimes its important to get things that are aligned with you. Now a little towards that, and soon more towards discarding a lot of what I don't need or use. The feeling "I'd like to keep that" is interesting. Let's see when I have it to wear.

07.05.2021 10:43 pm. Sometimes it feels like someone else needs to sit with all of my writing, and make something great out of it. Hopefully that will be me one day. I'll write and I'll keep writing. It helps me grow and it makes me feel like I'm here and something or someone real. Potential and forward. Permanent and always but not yet. If it isn't me, good luck. I hope you enjoy the journey thro...

07.05.2021 10:40 pm. An interesting Friday. Feels like years ago somehow.  I'm tired since then. And I dislike our view and approach to medicine as a holy spirit. It's like we've destroyed everything holy about ourselves for something much worse.  A blind system running to make up for its own inadequacies.  Where's the old woman with a bowl? Where is the shaman and his smoke? Why ar...

Quality of thought, quality of life. What thoughts are you feeding into yourself. And what are you letting happen up there as life goes on. It generates everything you are, directing it, detaching from it, and attaching to it in a reasonable way is a reasonable thing to be aware of. The thoughts that are there when you wake up, and what that means for your day, the texture it adds to it all. And h...

Recorded 30.04.2021 Friday evening 8 pm. I'm drinking a lot of oat milk recently. A lot more peanut butter too. I did quite change my diet the last weeks didn't I. Fuller meals and more workouts. While still working.  My dad is a little better but still recovering. I'm recovering and growing on my own too. The stress of mistakes at work and finding a sense of detachment to them. Being at work...

She who will speak. He who will listen. Art, to me, seems to be everything. Grateful to all its forms.

24.April.2021 My dad might die tomorrow. But I've treated him like he was going to die tomorrow since I can remember. So it's fine. In a way. . . The world feels like a very shallow place, and the best revenge against it is to be more than shallow. As a sick joke the shallow world would take the most seriously.

I can’t breathe.

I smoke one and sit to start writing. Then it feels like podcasting is the creative expression I should go for. And I do. I merge it with writing, I think I'll do that a little more often. Reading is nice. And realizing a new concept of health for yourself, that's sustainable longterm. 

Recorded: 08.04.2021 6:23 pm I sound cranky in this one, I think. My mood improved drastically the days after.  Dopamine is one hell of a drug. I feel good, with myself and the things I'm doing. There is strength in fasting that is really interesting and intense if you let yourself feel it.  I'll try and record one tomorrow or after to see the change in my tone. Best, Khalid

I am convinced that hell exists on Earth, already, and it is man made. I watched an animal farming documentary the other day, and I'm fasting 19 hours a day now.  This is one point of view about it. RECORDED: 5th of April 2021. 10:35 AM.

The middle thread we all walk. I started fasting, and I'm not drinking alcohol anymore. We find our way to lose it, we lose it to find our way again. That's what it is. I called my brother today out of the blue and he replied, he said he was going to his bachelor party although he was married already.  I don't know why I'm worried about him.  I'm writing, and I'm living. Take care all, W...

28th of March 2021. I spoke to my friend Qais Akasheh yesterday. We caught up and talked about things we're going through recently. It's the first podcast episode I video record through our laptops and also upload on Youtube. Best, Khalid