Midnight Wisdom

10.10.2021 Before Vipassana, in Amsterdam. Watched scent of a woman, loved it. Watched The Guilty. Watched Silver Skates. Drinking and eating citrus.

It's 10:17 PM Sunday 03/10/2021. I'm back in Berlin, there is a lot of learnings concentrated into this episode, and I'm grateful for it. Joy, truth, the word, the world. I'm looking forward to next week. I'm grateful for being here. Khalid Yassin

Recorded 25th September at 1 am. I slept for a long time afterwards. I’m glad my laptop still works. There is urgency, but there is also joy.

Recorded 11pm 18/09/2021 felt great to. Ended up writing another 5.1k words before falling asleep at 3 am. Rode a Buggy(?) didn’t die. Progress. Plus Ultra.

14.09.2021 recorded 9 pm at Lakehouse. I note mainly the difference in writing books as different as Understanding Intelligence and Vernon. I would also like to discuss attention again soon.

Day 7 10.09.2021 23:51 A close one to my heart. What I’m going through.

Day 7. Lakehouse, couch, sitting upright. Everyday I see the number of the new day in capital letters! (I know numbers aren’t letters) that pass in front of my eyes. A very productive week so far.

07.09.2021 21:23 arguably one of the more important recordings I do. How I’m feeling right now in the midst of this. Am I anything? I don’t want to feel useless. I want to feel solid in what I am. But what’s it when what I am is air? It’s the life and doubt of a writer.

I recorded this on the 28th of August coming into midnight. After coming back from Jordan, didn’t leave my dad on the best of terms but he isn’t the easiest person to get along with. He is often unnecessarily difficult and I think he prides himself on that, somehow. I smoked and I spoke about it, even though on the way back I was already done with thinking about it. But hey, it’s life, it’s here a...

31.08.2021 Felt like recording mid day and talked about using and learning a new writing tool. Getting ready to go to Poland.

Treehouse on a lake. In Poland, Poznan. 05.09.2021, feels like a good day. Slept well and ready to take on the day and sit with Vernon. I indexed my writings, organised all I have in one dedicated Scrivener project. I’m eating well, meditated and journaled as soon as I woke up, and now I think I’ll paddle before sitting down with Vernon. I arrived here on Friday the third 03.09.2021, I’m glad I ju...

Recorded 28.08.2021 My dad.

Recorded 27.08.2021

Recorded yesterday, 21.08.2021-22.08.2021 at around 3 am. I was on the couch next to his bed, there was also a chair I sat on, thinking: “Remember this.” He was sleeping, he was breathing.

I’m booking the ticket now. Take care.

I am replanning my trip to Vienna and Helsinki to go to Amman instead. It’s a much better plan. 15.08.2021 Parents love us a lot, but sometimes people don’t know how to love themselves.

08.08.2021 My dad is dying, crashing slowly and uncomfortably, and his hate and malice is branching out. What did he expect? What does he want? And am I wrong not to feel any responsibility towards it? I don’t think I am. Room to reflect.

Recorded 4 pm 08.08.2021 In a way I felt like I lost the script. But little by little it will come together, I will always grow and understand more. Accept and be non needy, and in the end create things to completion. Precise and clear. Time, structure, and continuance.

Recorded 01.08.2021 Reflection should be used as a tool, structured and towards purpose. I find myself often losing myself in reflection for the sake of it, when the truth is only to be here now. To be in what you do, what you feel, and what is actually real between you and people and your work.  I reorganized my drive, and my folders, and will now write essays about certain topics I care abo...

26.07.2021 unsubscribed from amazon, big deal. Reflecting. Finding reason. Making the better decisions for myself. Reapplying to Vipassana and being cool about it. Meditating, waking up and being at peace with the reality of experience being lived through and could potentially be experienced.

Spoke to my families. Had a small situation with my uncle.  20.07.2021

Recorded 17.07.2021 Time has felt like it's moving quickly. But I am living. In this episode, close to sleep, I read through the first 5 pages of INTelligence. Minutes 4-30. Adding in things and reflection on breakups at certain points.  Renting a boat.  I said, towards the end, that I have no energy to bring the pages together. The 16 pages. I have the energy for it. That's all I have energy for....

The art of presence. Unedited. I breathe. I decide what is worth saying. And this is worth saying.

I reflect a bit on things close to the end of the day. Now that I do this it’s not a completely wasted day. Let’s love ourselves, learn, and be happy. Winter is a much different time. I do tend to have a dip in active energy in hotter days of summer.

Week 140 - a number. Finished recording Sunday 11:43 PM - I wrote the rest before recording. I'm being too dreamy and not practical enough. I need to focus on my life, my skills, my capacity and become more capable.  I need to put my life in order, before thinking of writing books that will put the world in order, I took my thinking too far and my current self is always suffering for it. Not...