Melrose Place Cast

The most beautiful woman in America is back, but not really, the most beautiful woman in America is still the most beautiful ghost in America, but Monique Duran is here and ready to insert herself into Teri Spencer's life.  Brian is into Monique because she's actually Teri, Carrie is leaning on Monique because she's actually Teri, and Hillary is ready to build the agency around Monique becaus...

PLEASE HELP US THEY HAVE TAKEN AWAY ALL MODELS, INC. VIDEOS OFF OF THE INTERNET. This is an urgent plea.  Please help us CRACK THE CASE and release the tapes.

What on earth was with this title choice?  I mean seriously, at least title it: "SPOILER ALERT: They Shoot Mothers, Don't They?"  Is this a reference that we don't get?  What is happening?  Have they run out of ideas?   Join us this week as we dissect a DOUBLE episode that has QUADRUPLE the Matt that you're used to and only a QUARTER of the Jane!  Win/win/win. Amanda...

Well the Internet tips are taking us all over creation - including right up to Heaven proper!  This week, we investigate the possibility that Puddle's run on Melrose Place was actually a fall from grace.  His grace, to be exact.  Was Puddle a nationally known, recognized, and loved televangelist who married a gay rights icon and went down in scandal before selling Werewolf cures on...

Well we had taken a month off so we're a bit rusty.  But we also upgraded our recorded experience from the out of the box functionality of anchor by phone to an actual zoom conversation with filters.  Can you see them?  Nope.  But Mary insists on talking about them anyway. This week, Peter Burns brings in an efficiency expert to get Amanda out of his bed and out of his company....

We are fortunate this week to be joined by a surprise drop in special guest - Christopher from Melrose Sheltering In Place!  Having seen the entire series, but somehow only a third of this episode, he brings us perspective on the long view.  And he comes down on side Teege: Mary should watch this show. In what can only be described as a mid-season finale, all of the story lines wrap up....

While we have been looking everywhere for Puddle, it never occurred to us to call in a new investigator.  We are joined by our Expert Millenial to look through the wreckage of American Society and tell us just where Puddle is.  Good news - she's got some hot leads.  Bad news - it looks like the real Puddle shook her off his trail.  There's always next month.  We will conti...

It's Ebenezer Woodward!  Or Amanda McScrooge!  Get it, as in Scrooge McDuck.  Look. Melrose Place took us on a Dickens thrill ride, now with the added enhancement of "feel the rope burn on my neck.  Touch it!"  She turns over a new leaf, but not before telling Alison how she feels about "Pity Me Pines" and telling Donatelo Versace, the fashionable Ninja Turtle, that her ne...

If you are our age, and since you're listening to this podcast we assume you are, then you likely had a friend in Puddle, even if you didn't know it.  Teege chases down a lead that suggest Puddle was a friend to millions, trained a generation on entry level website editing skills, and made a gajillion dollars without involving Russian troll farms.   Is this the break we've needed to end...

"The needy people always get the attention."  Teege thought this was a fact so plainly obvious, no argument would be necessary.  Mary disagreed, leading to some awkward infighting.  We pushed through it, though. Chris from the JC Penny's Bow Tie Section is gone, Susan is on her way out, and we appear to be rearranging the direction of the characters to push towards an explosive seas...

Think what you want, but the Nancy Reagan tea at the start of the episode is worth the cost of this podcast. The characters of Melrose Place are converging, so there are just three main story lines. Hostile Take Over! Amanda is now the President of D&D, and she promotes Billy in his acid wash jeans to Vice President of Accounts.  Billy, who two years ago, was dating comedians in his taxi....

"Ladies and Gentleman, We Got 'Em!" is what you might imagine the LAPD saying as they have MADE AN ARREST in the murder of Teri Spencer.  Hillary triumphantly announces this, saying "It's all over" even though she was also arrested for the murder of Teri Spencer and it did not turn out to be all over at that point.  Something suggests there may be some twists and turns coming our way. Er...

It was sweeps week, right?  Can anyone confirm that it was sweeps week?  Because they wrote Matt out and every story line was slamming. Chris from JC Penny steals $500,000 from Jane but really from JC Penny and he buys Sydney earrings while she's alone but then chooses to kidnap her into his limousine from a crowded city street later in the day.  Oh, brothers-in-law, ammiright? Bruc...

Well, Mary comes down from the Great White North with a hot pot of scalding tea: we've all been singing along to Puddle's music for years, and girl we just didn't know it was true!  Was Puddle's run on Melrose Place a rouse for his career flop?  Was Sydney's mattress meant to be a launching pad?  And where exactly does Ashlee Simpson fit into all of this?  Look, if we were wron...

Okay, so we need to understand that Alison is FULLY an alcoholic and she is now running down strange kids biking through Los Angeles at night.  But do not even think about questioning the parenting involved - the kid had a helmet!  Also Alison has a bad influence, Zach, who is enabling, justifying, and otherwise supporting her downward spiral. Billy and Susan invite Alison to Thanksgivin...

It's another special episode - just preserving some of the great banter that wouldn't otherwise make it.  This tells the sad, sad, tale of shoes left behind, shoes yet to be found, and shoes needing to be sized properly.  Throw in an anti-corporation rant just for fun.

Julie is in charge. Julie is in charge. Julie is in charge. There, we've said it enough to make sure that it's clear that for about 20 minutes, Julie is in charge of Models, Inc. Stephanie takes advantage of Eric, who turns to drug dealing to make money.  Linda starts a new relationship, and turns Eric in for drug dealing after he hits her. David still loves Sad Eyed Sarah (you have to listen...

Joined again by our expert millenialister, Gail, we are ready to dive all the way in to Melrose Place 3.10.  Billy, Alison, and Susan work together to create a kitchenware concerto, which is really just concert with an o.  Alison takes drugs for the first time and makes Jo lose Kimberly's baby to her dead boyfriend's parents.  Amanda and Peter continue to plot to take over D&D e...

What do you do when social media radicalizes an otherwise normal, healthy person down a rabbit hole of conspiracy theories?  Well, you just take what you learned from the evil iTunes algorithm, and you accuse a Melrose Place podcast host of being implicit in the disappearance of America's favorite stuffed dog.  Yes, it all started with a conspicuous absence on an iTunes playlist.  D...

Okay, listen.  At the end of recording both segments, we recorded the ads.  At the end of the first ad, Teege got an alert about the leaked opinion that the Supreme Court is going to overturn Roe v. Wade.  So ... I guess you get to take part in our real time reactions while we try to keep joking about a magnetic chess machine while wrestling with a return to Gilead. This week, Aliso...

Look, this is the most self-indulgent episode we've put out here ... and this whole podcast is a series of self-indulgent episodes.  At the end of a recording session, Mary opened a box of trash and treasures that Teege sent her for her birthday.  In great detail, she describes each gift.  If you enjoy the dynamic between your intrepid hosts, you'll enjoy this.  If not, by all...

Well, well, well, we are back to the murder mystery.  Is it David?  is it Brian?  Who the hell is Stephanie?  Why is Paul licking Carrie's feet?  (Let the record show we did not discuss the foot licking in the show) Join us for another monthly update of The Models, Inc. 'Cast, likely the only podcast available to discuss Models, Inc. in great detail.  Truth be told, w...

Look, Sydney and Jake.  They're a thing now.  Can we prove it?  Kind of.  Sure, there's no photographic evidence, but there are SHADOW PUPPETS MAKING OUT.  And the shadow puppets have Sydney's distinct hair so there's that. Jane and Chris are about to get married, but Sydney engineers for Michael and Kimberly to break it up only for them to go on and get married OFF SCREEN...

If the latest tip is correct, Puddle is gone, having served the Lord by leading a peace loving religion until his dying day.  Unfortunately for our tipsters, this sounds all too familiar.  Perhaps we should stop offering a cash reward for ANY tip about Puddle's whereabouts, and only offer the cash for a tip leading to Puddle being found?  If you or anyone you know has information on...

Jake turns to Amanda for investment advice.  Turns out, both of them financially benefit from Daddy dying on Jake and blowing up.  Also Jake got reward money for helping to capture Kathy Ireland?  What? Susan is here - the chef from Pair-ee, and Alison's good Judy from college.  Except, uh-oh, Billy's into Susan.  What will come from this?  I think you know. Jo is exp...