Melrose Place Cast

At long last, we got to the season finale of season three - the peak moment in Melrose Place folklore.  This was apparently Darren Star's last episode with the series, which explains the shift in characters and tone going forward. Short takeaway: thank god for Sandy and Rhonda that they got out while they could, because literally everyone else could be dead or jailed for life. Matt's been set...

Well, we took a month off between recording, or frankly even watching the show, so come along with us for our confusion as we try to remember what was happening in this show from 30 years ago that only one of us watched and even that was 35 days ago.  As best as we can tell: Olipop soda is terrible, but that is unrelated to the show. Cynthia's stalker has made it to LA and is sending threaten...

Well, we're now fully set up for the most epic episode of the entire series, the season three finale. Except Mackenzie Freaking Hart has still not arrived.  This is an outrage, and I demand protests in the streets for the writing to be better. But, here is what we get. Michael is framed by Kimberly for stalking Amanda and beating Kimberly, so now he is in jail on bail for $200,000.  Some...

Out of the darkness: light. Out of the depth: shallow. Out of the trees: caterpillars. Indeed, there's just one conclusion from Teege in this episode: it appears Mary has found the real Puddle!   At long last, our national nightmare is over. Or is it? If you think Puddle is still out there, send us your tips at melroseplacecast@gmail.com, or use #justiceforpuddle on any and all social medias excep...

What a stupid episode title.   But that's okay, because it was actually a good episode. Jake fires Jess and kicks him out, so Jess have Jake killed by hiring goons to rob the bar. Sydney's drama with pantyhose cocaine comes to an end as it is revealed that it was all a set up by Jane to get Syndey to sign over her Presidency of Mancini Designs.  Sisters are doin' it for themselves, I gue...

Well, we've reached that soap opera stage where all of the characters are operating disconnected from each other.  So we have distinct, non-overlapping story lines. Cynthia regains a stalker from New Jersey.  He is on his way to LA, but she can't be distracted because she is getting sexy chili dogs with Brian. Sarah continues her romance with mysterious Mark, kissing him at a retirement...

It's a rare, but not unheard of, doubled-up sponsor week where Mary and I both latched on to the same, relatively obscure moment of the show. Also, Jo / Jake / Jess continue their love triangle, which could have a hotter conclusion if Jake and Jess weren't brothers.  Unless, maybe that's why they keep stressing that they're half brothers?  Jo and Jess try to keep it on the DL, but they e...

It's a very Merry Christmas Miracle - we have found puddle!  After all this time, over a year of searching, thirteen misfires, we are pretty sure that we've found the stuffed dog that won America's heart.  Please, let this be the case.  We follow a tip, an elaborate tale told in one tweet, of magic, mystery, and pages being "restorn" right there in the library.  A melted stuffe...

This is our longest episode yet, and easily our most controversial.   Melrose Place is setting the stage for the season three finale, and you can almost see the hand of the producers moving the chess pieces.  Either way, here we are. Sydney Andrews is now PRESIDENT OF MANCINI DESIGNS and she confronts Amanda Woodward over the quality of the Mancini Designs Campaigns. Jess and Jo continue...

Well, was this episode all about Brooke, as the title implies?  Nope. As much as we wanted a Brooke-centric episode, we did not get it.  But we DID land a HUGE special guest ... Jo's Baby Austin, all grown up!  Or, at least that's the best explanation we can come up with for why someone about Austin's age is the Melrose Place Facebook Group Internet Sensation with an encyclopedic kn...

Under no circumstances does this title make sense.  Zero sense.  It is illogical.  But, whatever. We learn that Reed Carter reborn as Adam or Matt or whatever is now dating Teri Spencer reborn as Monique Heart or Clare or whatever.  But it's in answer to a dare, and Reed Carter's Second Life is looking for his long lost wife.  And because she is named fully, we can expect...

Look, the writers no longer felt it was necessary to expend energy in writing episode titles.  So what, who cares? This week, Jess moves in to Shooters, starts working at Shooters, then moves in with Jake while poking around his little half-brother's files as though they were full brothers.  Sydney is onto him and Jess maybe threatens to kill her.  It's a welcome, for sure. Michael...

The curious case of how on earth we have more listeners from Finland than anywhere else. Also, 7 of you have our podcast as YOUR NUMBER ONE PODCAST!  We're so happy. This is a self-indulgent special episode about a new Melrose Place podcast, our Spotify Wrapped summary, suburbanites in their natural environment, and AI assessments of the debate for generations: is Melrose Place high art for t...

Well, things get a little intense.  In the search for Puddle, we accidentally untomb one of the biggest, earth shattering secrets in world history.  Something that will rock us all to our very core.  Do we quickly gloss over that as we try to find our lost fake-pound puppy?  Yeah.  Should that maybe have been a clue?  Perhaps.  But the debate rages longer than no...

A case file has been prepared and delivered.  Now Mary stands in judgment in the curious case of Teege, Panera, and Late Stage Capitalism. Merry Early Christmas!

Jake and Jo hook up since Jake's mom died and Jo's future boyfriend Jess is introduced to the show by standing underneath a car. Michael hides Kimberly in Rochester with what appears to be an actual job interview, so he can have some alone time with Amanda in the beachhouse.  Of course, this backfires as you would expect since Kimberly comes home early and finds Amanda's things in her house....

I don't know what's bigger news - the storylines in Models Inc. or that Hardee's used to sell cinnamon raisin breakfast sandwiches for 99 cents.  Also, that last claim was quickly debunked. Chris and Linda continue in their odd relationship, now with a new daddy!  Carrie, the sister of the original most beautiful woman in America, feels old and ugly.  Monique, the new most beautiful...

Brooke has arrived!  In episode 22.  Remember, Alison is drinking again by the season finale (episode 30) because of Billy's WEDDING.  So this show is moving fast. Amanda's illness continues to drive her to Michael.  Not good. Alison submits her campaign for the award Amanda is trying to win, and of course, Alison wins. Is Alison at least dressed well?  Nope. Not at all. M...

Well, APPARENTLY we won't look for Puddle everywhere.  I guess there are some limits and there are some lines that we don't cross.  So, sorry Puddle, maybe we'll find you some other day. If you or anyone you know has information on the whereabouts of Puddle, please post to social media using #justiceforpuddle or email your hot tip to melroseplacecast@gmail.com Together, we will #findpudd...

Well, this was a doozy.  During this episode, we discuss the pacing of Melrose Place.  Spoilers to the season three finale to come in this description.  Although the show is old enough to be beyond the "spoiler" zone. We only have 8 episodes left until the season finale where Kimberly blows the place up after going through her No More Victims cult training.  Alison is back on t...

Monique is standing up for herself, and she wants you to know that while she is the Most Beautiful Woman in America, she is NOT Teri Spencer.  Depsite, actually, being Teri Spencer.  She won't date Brian, but the woman who is played by the Most Beautiful Ghost in America seems to have taken a shine to Reed Carter (called "Adam") - who can only be described as the Most Mansexy Ghost in Am...

So we accidentally find out pretty early that our special guest, Gail, watched the wrong episode of the show because she is using a legally questionable bootleg "streaming service" from the same server Hillary Clinton kept her old emails.  But, we persevere because scheduling has been difficult. In this week's episode, Sydney gets let out of the booby hatch where there was a spider and no run...

Would you believe Puddle has become a Wisconsin sensation by ... get this ... being convicted of first degree MURDER!  Then, when Puddle escapes from prison, 75% of residents of Milwaukee reported that if they knew where this convicted murderer was, they would not tell anyone.  Why?  Because Puddle was ... FRAMED!  Join us on a murder mystery, and perhaps, the discovery of Pudd...

Well, Sydney is fully in the cult.  And by that we mean, she is locked under ground in the cult's desert compound.  Why did they take her?  What do they have to gain?  Do they think they'll turn her to their side and thus never be charged with this kidnapping?  Who knows.  But of course this happened because Sydney had Tea Time, where she needed to stay up all night s...

It is very important that you pick up the point that Melrose Place is *subtly* putting down - Kimberly is suffering a mental health crisis.  She didn't test very ... positively and Matt had to tell her that she has poor anger management, doesn't handle stress well, has sociopathic tendencies and dissociative identity.  You know, nothing that some counseling can't fix.  Counseling. Also, it is newl...