Melrose Place Cast

A DOUBLE RAINBOW?!? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!? Err ... I mean a double episode! Melrose Place is getting out of their mid-season doldrums ... or perhaps working through it ... to set the stage for the season five finale and the mass exodus of og characters. We've already lost Jane and Jo, but by all accounts Kimberly will be leaving soon and Jake seems hell bent on taking Alison with him to Rhonda&#...

Well, Teege and Mary are running the tape on Kimberly's runway on this show. Will she make it? Will she survive? How long will she last? Will she be brought back? Who knows?!? Well, Teege does, but he's not saying. #nospoilers This week, we have this odd jealousy thing bubbling up between Megan and Kimberly. Not that Michael making them jealous of each other is odd, but the way this love triangle...

Well, dear listeners, it appears that we need to admit mistakes (made by our intern), take accountability (for our intern's screw up), and apologize to you (about our intern) for the long run of non-episode episodes.

Heading into a new year, we imagine what the characters of Melrose Place are going to resolve going into the new year. Will Michael resolve to be faithful to his fourth/fifth wife? (Fourth woman, fifth marriage ... right?) Will Sydney operate as a legit businesswoman? Will Kimberly live through the year? Let's see together!

Look, Mary agreed to do a holiday special episode of the podcast. However, she had no idea that I was going to switch up the actual holiday we were celebrating. So, please forgive the lack of cultural preparedness, as we stumble through our own ignorance of how poorly we understand one of the most significant religions in our world. That said, lack of expertise wouldn't stop us from delivering...

You're never going to believe what happened next. Melrose Place has installed an experimental Black Box theater in the apartment that Peepin' Ted used to creep on Amanda. Or: ... black box theatre. However you want to say it. Or read it. Anyway, for the first production, Melrose Place went big budget, and got the rights to Wicked, The Musical, and Teege and Mary are the casting directors....

In the grand scheme of the world, it turns out that St. Nick's Day is only celebrated in a few cities in the country. That includes urban paradises such as New Ulm, Minnesota, Pella, Iowa, and for our purposes, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Of course, one of the Melrose Place women from indescript Midwestern States certainly brought the tradition with them. So we investigate how each of our favorite chara...

In 2025, Black Friday is a relatively calm, largely online affair. But in the 90s? Chaos. Injury. Retail *war* with actual fists. So what do you think our season five girlies were like during Black Friday on Melrose Place? Your Melrose Super Fans provide the definitive, *cannon* answer.

Time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking, into the future. It's 2025. 30 years after 1995. So what would a Melrose Place reunion for Thanksgiving look like? Who has too many grandchildren? Who is Michael trying to sleep with? Who is just happy to be included? We got you.

What, exactly, would Americans do if we found an underground cavern of a vast unicorn society? By Americans, of course, we mean capitalist corporations. Because, at Mitt Romney taught us, corporations are people, my friend! Yes, the fast food industry would be grinding up those unicorn hoofs and deep frying them faster than you can say "have that unicorn your way!"

In the archives of major American rhetorical moments, "Leave Britney Alone!" by Cara Cunningham (formerly known as Chris Crocker) is one of the most impactful. She taught a generation about the dangers of gossip magazines and criticism culture in one poorly-lit youtube video. Well, Cara is in good company. Won't people ever Leave Jane Alone?

We at the Melrose Place Cast LOVE accountability, even when it's being directed at us. And when we promised our sponsors to produce ONE MILLION DOWNLOADS ... and then failed to deliver ... well we were left with no other options than to put this out one more time. (In actuality - this is meant to be a time capsule moment where we revisit some of the earlier seasons)

In real life, these episodes of Melrose Place existed at the same time as The Macarena. Why, oh why, have we not seen this epic dance trend show up on camera yet? Will it? Should it? We investigate.

Whether you're talking about Sarah Palin or Sydney Andrews, one thing is sure, you're talking about chaos, flakiness, and feminine guiles. Unless it's sexist to say that, in which case delete that line. This week, we look at the soaring rhetoric of "I can see Russia from my house" and compare it to a speech written for Sydney Andrews about all the things she can se from her D...

Is Amanda even a main character any more? Michael found out about Kimberly's diagnosis, and is insisting on being by her side. This includes asking Megan to hide their new marriage from everyone until Kimberly gets raptured up or taken down. Sydney continues her relationship with Backstreet Boy Genius, and is in a pickle because his handler has paid off her debts. Craig's dad has a heart a...

Our long Melrose Nightmare of boring storylines and unexciting drama has finally ended. Jane has been written off, probably never to return again. (wink, wink) We were so bored by Jane, we literally forgot to record and then publish this send off episode. So you got it late, but here it is!

In this special mini-sode to round out September (don't judge us this show is getting difficult to keep up with) - we are joined by our all-star special guest Christopher to discuss some erotic art he created and why Teege finds Matt Fielding *so hot* but Doug Savaant *so not*.

Official court proceedings, Arby's, MTG, Laura Loomer, all wrapped up in one episode!

WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST - CHRISTOPHER FROM MELROSE SHELTERING IN PLACE PODCAST! And, just like that, Jane's gone? For some reason the writers wanted to put Jane through hell to justify to the audience that she was leaving. But, like, did we need to be convinced to be okay with this turn of events? Sydney set it all up, and now owns the Boutique. Sam and Billy are in that gross phase of a relat...

George Washington famously stepped down from power and warned a young nation against dangerous alliances. Jo Reynolds did the same, only with more denim and a stolen baby who was breastfed by Kimberly Shaw. In this gripping farewell, Jo says goodbye to Melrose Place, and sanity itself, with a heartfelt address about betrayal, kidnapping, and rocking chairs that still haunt her dreams. May God bles...

Oh, I get it now, Peter's an accidental doctor because he did a surprise tracheotomy or whatever that word is. Thus ends the Peter paralyzed by fear storyline. This should help his relationship with Amanda. Matt and Dan take a dark turn as Dan punches Matt in the face in a scene that was oddly steamy, not because of the violence but because of Matt's fierceness. Jane. Ugh, whatever. Jake a...

Barack Obama united a nation with three simple words: Yes We Can. Rhonda Blair divided a dinner party with one simple action: bringing pasta and accidentally revealing Jane’s attempted abortion. In this episode, we honor President Obama’s call to hope and possibility, then pivot to Rhonda’s call to never, ever boil water without understanding the consequences. It’s not just a kitchen. It’s a cauti...

Well, we can only assume that the episode title writer was on vacation or got involved with Kimberly Shaw because there's no clear indication what this title had to do with the episode. Taylor continues as though she was written as two characters - being oddly obsessive with Peter but normal in all other cases. Kimberly is going to unalive herself joyfully. They did it again - turned Jane's story...

In 1851, Sojourner Truth delivered a soul-shaking speech demanding that women, especially Black women, be seen, heard, and honored. In Season 3 of Melrose Place , Alison Parker delivered a similar plea… when she skipped an entire week of work to cry about a voicemail from Billy. This episode explores the historic intersections of abolitionist feminism and workplace flakiness, culminating in a pass...

Is this title Shakespearean dumb or just dumb? Either way, Jane is desperately seeking mommy, using a whole lot of insensitive terminology about whether Sydney is her "real" sister or how she can find her "real" mother. Teege tees up on this bullshit. Kimberly continues her weird separation game with Michael, for the benefit of Michael. As a reminder, she hired a prostitute to...