Carl Thompson & Rachel Flood

Married, Divorced & Dating

Health EN ↓ 121 episodes

Modern romance comes in all shapes and sizes...like butt plugs, it turns out. Join best friends Carl and Rachel as they dive deep into the wilderness of being married, divorced and dating! Now single for the first time in 11 years, Rachel has been running headfirst into life after marriage. Following her divorce, she is discovering a whole new world of flirting, one-night stands, dating and alllll the relevant apps! Carl is happily married, has worked in radio for over a decade and loves a bloody good yarn! He and his beautiful wife are the #relationshipgoals we're all looking for. Carl and Ra...

Author

Carl Thompson & Rachel Flood

Category

Health

Podcast website

mddtales.podbean.com

Latest episode

Oct 28, 2025

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Episodes

#20 “I’m not wearing any underwear!” 14.02.2022

A real rollercoaster of emotions on this week's episode, Rach reveals that she's not wearing underwear and then opens up and gets really vulnerable about some dickheads that have been harassing her online.    Our guest this week is Liv, she had an encounter with a soft serve (and we don't mean the ice cream) not just once, or twice, but 6 times!    Then, since we’re recording this on valentines da...

#19 “Whiskey Dick & Sober Sex” 07.02.2022

You may be thinking Whiskey Dick and Sober Sex? Don't these two things counteract each other?  You may also think guests only join us for the guest section of the episode, but this week we're really mixing things up with our incredible guest Tegan Yorwarth.  Tegan is an inspirational, strong, and hardworking wahine who you may recognise from the Mai Morning Crew or her appearance on Celebrity Trea...

#18 “A 6 guy, 7 day sex bender after a break up” 01.02.2022

We usually talk about shades of grey, not shades of green, but hey, that's where we started this week.    Carl told us all about he & his wife's 10 year wedding anniversary which was super cute.   Plus, we have the most AMAZING submission from a listener to share with you. A seven-day sex-bender after a break up. Intrigued?! Get this episode in your ear holes!    Loving what you are hearing? Follo...

#17 “Finger blasting on a plane!” 24.01.2022

IT'S 2022 AND WE ARE BACK! New Year, Same us!    It may have been a few months in between recording sessions, but it honestly felt like a bike!  Join us for a few laughs as we get a 1 on 1 with an ex air hostess while we ask her the ins and outs, the do’s and don'ts of joining the Mile High Club!    Then, grab your hands, place them on your forehead, look down and shake it while you listen to the...

#16 “Did I just have a one night stand at a hospital?!” 04.10.2021

First of all, sorry about the horrible audio quality on Carl’s mic, he really cocked up his recording this week.    Luckily the story from our mate Bex, is clean and crisp and clear, because its a real goodie about the time she went into full sluz mode in America after a breakup from a long term relationship.   Also, Rach tells a story about a flirty little digital fling with a famous boy from a b...

#15 “She sent me back the filthiest message I ever read” 27.09.2021

Episode 15!? Wow, how time flies!    This week, we reflect on the fuck boy/girl actions, and after we reach out to our followers on social, we pinpoint the most common action of ghosting after sex. Why is this a thing?! Can we change it?!    Our mate Mel joins us and dobs herself in as the bad date! We hear about what she was doing wrong and what the wild consequence of this was… and did she learn...

#14 “If he looks like a fukboi he probably is” 20.09.2021

Wowee what a journey this week was.   Rachel starts her Fuck It list (places to bang bucket list), after seeing all the feedback from our Instagram poll about all the weird & wild places people have done it, and heck we have some kinky listeners! Proud of you!   Then we hear from Jase, about what could quite possibly be the WORST sleepover EVER! However we’re not sure whether it was worse for him....

#13 “Sorry, but I fucked your boyfriend in the back of my car” 13.09.2021

We’re still in different parts of the country but we’re getting it done!    This week, Rach explains why the F**K she thought it would be a great idea to slide into Zac Efron's DMs (She’s finally lost the plot).   MDD listener and our new mate Krisse, tells us a story about a wee bend in the NZ lockdown rules that didn’t quite go the way she intended.   Plus Carl tells the story of potentially one...

#11 “Stars aligned, beers were had, he stayed the night” 30.08.2021

Bare with us as we record remotely through Level 4 again, the microphone quality may be a bit avv, but the content quality is hot!    Our mate and the very talented creator of our catch MDD jingle, Niell, has made us a very beautiful isolation parody version of our theme song. It’s like a lovely lullaby, but maybe not quite appropriate to send your kids off to sleep to.    Remember Tyler from epis...

#10 “I did a pull up and nearly had an ORGASM!” 23.08.2021

Well well, we find ourselves in a level 4 NZ lockdown. Even though we are in different parts of the country, we found a way to record this episode!   A drunk and in depth chat about buttholes, and the time Rach, nearly had an orgasm at the gym!   Instagram: instagram.com/marrieddivorcedanddating/ Rachel’s Instagram: instagram.com/rachelohdear/ Carl’s Instagram: instagram.com/carlpthompson/   Wanna...

#9 “I fell asleep with a D**k in my mouth!!! 16.08.2021

After having a week off, while Carl’s been busy renovating his new house, Rachel tried her hand at ASMR, and there is a reason we didn’t release anything last week…..   Our mate, Tarn’s is back and tells another amazing tale about her real life Magic Mike moment, and you will never believe how she ended the night with him!    Plus we finish off the tale of Toy Boy and his amazing timing with Rache...

#8 “Finger lickin' good” 02.08.2021

This week we introduce you to the Married, Divorced & Dating Ohh-Lympics.    Our mate, Bex tells a tale about the closest she’ll ever get to a threesome with the love of her life & her other favourite person in the world, the Colonel.    Plus we dig deep and have a little D&M about what actually happened with Rachel's divorce. Instagram: instagram.com/marrieddivorcedanddating/ Rachel’s Instagram:...

#7 “Can I at least just kiss you on the mouth first?!?!” 26.07.2021

Ever seen your own sex toy go through the X-Ray machine at the airport, this happened to one of us this week.   After the discussion and Instagram polls on Twins, forbidden or fantasy, Carl and Rachel share the results, and even talk to a twin to get their side!   This week's guest, Amy, discusses her first opportunity for a one-night stand, who really, ‘opens’ up to her.   Then Rachel pulls a swi...

#6 “OMG….I think I have a twins fantasy” 19.07.2021

After a racy story from an anonymous source, Carl asks the big question, forbidden or fantasy?   Tayla absolutely throws herself under the bus as the shittest date ever, and we’re not sure if she should ever be forgiven.   Then Rachel tells a tale of a man she dubbed baguette boy, and no, he's not as French as you’d think going by the name.   Instagram: instagram.com/marrieddivorcedanddating/ Rach...

#5 “Mum, don’t freak out, the black eye is just from sex” 12.07.2021

Alright people let’s pick up where we left off. Rachel got her heartbroken (or did she?). We hear what happened with Tauranga boy after we released last week’s ep. Then, friend of the show Ani, shares where she got all those bruises, spoiler, it’s exactly what you think.  Carl spills the beans about the time he... spilled the beans in the bathroom of a packed bar. Then the totally real wheel spits...

#4 “She tried to jump out of my moving car” 05.07.2021

This week, just when we thought Rachel’s Hinge app guy was gone for good, there’s a twist…..and a late-night road trip!  Plus Tyler tells us about the time he dipped his toe in the crazy pool and got BIT! And don't ever try to feed Rachel. In fact, if you ever wanted to date her, you might want to listen to this first.     Instagram: instagram.com/marrieddivorcedanddating/ Rachel’s Instagram: inst...

#3 “My duvet is ruined!!!” 28.06.2021

Everyone's favourite spicy ginger ramen noodlehead, Haylee tells us about the time she took home a guy, and her sheets have never been the same since. If you want to know at what point you just burn your mattress and move on, this is it. Plus Rachel has been getting neck-deep into the dating app Hinge, which has uncovered a side to her that not even Carl knew existed.   Instagram: instagram.com/ma...

#2 “You were hitting puberty as he was being born!” 20.06.2021

Our legend of a friend, Neil, wrote us a theme song and we can't get it out of our heads.   Kim tells us about the time she dated the greasy haired, free loading, rum drinking, Byron Bay pirate. Plus, Rachel can deny she's a cougar all she wants, but after the story about her gym trainer, the evidence isn't exactly in her favour.   Instagram: instagram.com/marrieddivorcedanddating/ Rachels Instagr...

#1 The Pilot of Shit - A very sanitary one night stand 20.06.2021

Bare with us as we find our feet in the pilot episode, adequately named “The Pilot of Shit”.   Our mate Tarns tells us about her highly sanitary one-night stand and Rach shares her first sexting experience.   Instagram: instagram.com/marrieddivorcedanddating/ Rachels Instagram: instagram.com/rachelohdear/ Carls Instagram: instagram.com/carlpthompson/   Wanna email us a story? mddtales@gmail.com  ...

TRAILER - "Episode 1, Out Tomorrow" 20.06.2021
TRAILER - "Hand sanitiser on your VAGINA?!?!!!" 01.06.2021

Married, Divorced & Dating. Cumming soon to your ears.   Give us a follow and tell us a story on Instagram

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