Marriage Lab

In this episode we talk about the culture shifting power of apologies; offering them freely and frequently. This is different than fawning which is apologizing for anything and everything in an attempt to appease or placate. This also different than admitting guilt or wrongdoing. The kind of freely-given, frequent apologies we're talking about are those that begin with a recognition that my a...

This episode shares one of the simplest and yet most profound keys to changing the culture in your marriage. Gratitude. Now hear us out! We will share how gratitude provides one of the greatest ROI's in relationships, how we will face internal resistance to it, what it looks like to create practical habits and real life stories of it at work in our marriage. Click here for the $24 Group Coach...

In this episode, Jenna and Aaron share the secret sauce to seeing change in your marriage. It's simpler than you think. Just more humbling. Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package  2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst Click here for the "Summer Support"  6x 10 min 1:1 phone calls with Jenna  On sale for $89 until June 2 Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your c...

In this episode, Jenna and Aaron talk through a conflict they had that morning. This particular one was not a new dynamic in their relationship and had created disconnection many times before. However, this time they successfully paused in dysregulation, intentionally moved towards connection and set some boundaries. Main takeaways: If your buttons are getting pushed, remember, they are your butto...

In this episode we explore the pitfalls of comparing your spouse to others and the negative impact it can have on your relationship. This comparison can create feelings of judgment and inadequacy, leading to a decline in positive affection and increasing resentment. By idealizing other people's spouses, you set unrealistic expectations and can inadvertently foster a sense of longing or even l...

Take 10 week to invest in building better habits with   Jenna's Mastery Course  <click to-register: open NOW> Class starts Oct 1, 2024- Can passivity be the silent killer in your marriage? In this episode, Aaron and Jenna get real about their own struggles with passivity, sharing how ignoring, avoiding, or delaying discomfort led to feelings of being stuck. Through candid personal stori...

Take 10 week to invest in building better habits with   Jenna's Mastery Course  <click to-register: open NOW> Class starts Oct 1, 2024- In this episode of Marriage Lab , Aaron and Jenna dive into the realities of maintaining a strong connection in marriage, especially during transitions and busy seasons. They share personal stories and insights on how small, consistent habits can signif...

In this episode, we talk about our tells around defensiveness. What are the signs that we are becoming defensive as a listener, specifically when our spouse is sharing pain? Here are a few we identify within ourselves: The desire to edit the details of what the other person is sharing Interrupting the speaker Judging the speakers thoughts and/or feelings Feeling anger (frustration, annoyance) Want...

In this episode our good friends, Jordan and Claire, share with us how they each grew in the ability to care for each others needs despite the fear that their own would never get met. Jenna and I (Aaron), have done a number of Couples Coaching sessions with them in which we witnessed a masterful use of the communication tools in the midst of processing pain and feeling defensiveness. They discuss...

It's been both our experience of ourselves and of many other marriages that we've coached, that there is one spouse who has a propensity towards Control. We define "control" as one person's attempt at manipulating the outcome through managing another person's actions.  In this episode, Jenna talks about how control shows up for her and what is happening on a deeper le...

In this episode the Zints share about 4 ways to move away from "Roommate mode" and back to intimate connection with your spouse. These include: Sharing openly what you're experiencing without blaming (use emotion language and share about yourself, not the other person). Be intentional with your connection time. Express affection: small gestures of affection like holding, hands, hugg...

Don't be overwhelmed by your summer! You can balance all that's on your plate- while still hitting your hopes.  Grab Jenna's mini course as your guide to: Set-Up Your Summer In this episode- Jenna & Aaron talk about how you can do the same thing but with a different motivation- and it can shift everything.  What is your motivation?  Are you telling yourself you are powerless &am...

Buy Jenna's  mini-course: Setting-up Your Summer. <click here> Dr. Gary Chapman's Love Languages concept and consequent books revolutionized our understanding of how we communicate, hear and receive love, especially in marriage. It became a tool we used constantly to better understand ourselves and our spouse.  And, we commonly misused this tool as a way to better serve ourselves r...

Buy Jenna's  mini-course: Setting-up Your Summer. <click here> Aaron and Jenna begin a series titled "What I wish I knew" sharing what they wish they'd learned early in marriage. This first part dives into the topic of "urgency." Most conflicts in the early stages of relationships feel urgent. They become very high stakes when they don't need to be. Why? Be...

Link to online small group interest form: HERE Laughter echoes through even our most challenging times, and this episode kicks off with a tale from a men's retreat that'll have you chuckling along with us. But as our conversation turns, we confront the shadows within marriage—specifically, the silent struggle of porn addiction. We open up about the emotional toll this addiction takes on...

Needing support in walking out of a porn addiction? Join Aaron's Online Small Group which is set up to help men struggling with porn to get connected and begin to bring attention to the areas in their life that makes porn feel like the best and only option. You can also check out Aaron's book, Numb to Known: the surprising path away from porn .  In this episode, Aaron talks about how mos...

3 Unpopular Opinions About Porn Your porn use is not a reflection on your spouse. That is, it's not their fault Porn is not your problem. Porn is the solution you've chosen to the real problem You and God cannot fix this. It must be you and God and other people.  Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package  2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst Click here for the "Summer Support...

Have you ever said, "We got in a big fight about something so small and stupid!" It happens in every marriage when there is emotional pain behind a "small and stupid" logistical problem.  In this episode, Jenna and Aaron reverse engineer their fight about a toothbrusher charger and how something so small and stupid had the potential to create a lot of disconnection but didn&apo...

Do you know what prolongs most conflict? The thing that keeps people stuck in disconnect? The pursuit of fairness. Why? Because it hinders love itself. Jesus didn't model fairness in His life or sacrifice. He modeled sacrificial love.  Love, as Jesus modeled it, will transform your marriage.  Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package  2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst Click here for...

In this episode, our friends Megan and Dalen Philp (not Philips...woops sorry guys) share the hope they found in their marriage of 20 years after they began to deconstruct the gender roles that they'd held onto so inflexibly for so many years.  Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package  2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst Click here for the "Summer Support"  6x 10 min 1:1 ph...

In this episode, we break down 10 helpful beliefs about sharing pain. Get the infographic notes here . Click here for the $24 Group Coaching Package  2 calls : June 2 & July 7 @ 9am pst Click here for the "Summer Support"  6x 10 min 1:1 phone calls with Jenna  On sale for $89 until June 2 Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch.  What’s inside? ✅ 6 bite-sized vide...

Jenna and Aaron share 7 unhelpful beliefs people have (they themselves used to have) about sharing pain with your spouse. Stay tuned for an episode on the helpful beliefs! Here is a review of those 7 unhelpful beliefs: Tell them everything I’m thinking Reveal to them how they hurt me Get them to see how they failed me I can resolve my hurt by hearing an apology/admission of guilt This is urgent. D...

In this episode, we interview our friends Anna & Alan Mullikin who share about the breaking of a ten year cycle. We were so encouraged by their story and know that this testimony is for everyone who's felt hopeless in their own cycles of pain and hurt in their marriage. You can follow Anna at  Please rate, review & share the podcast! >>> Would you consider financially support...

We interviewed our friends Joaquin and Renee Evans pastor a church called Bethel Austin in Austin, Texas. In this episode they share about what it requires of them to co-pastor a large church while staying connected in their marriage and in their family life.  They hit on: Boundaries Intentionality Signs of disconnection Time to get away just the two of them Staying connected to mentors and peers...

In a previous episode, we when into depth about no requiring an apology from your spouse when you felt hurt from them but rather focusing on sharing your heart in order to be known. This is one side of the coin for us. And an important one at that. The other side is that due to not requiring apologies from each other, we wind up giving way more genuine apologies than ever before. In this episode,...