Lyrics To Go

Marc and Seth work through lyrics that read like a lost paragraph from the point of view of a sexually charged Benjy from The Sound And The Fury. It starts off just kind of weird and starts to sound like someone who doesn't know what underwear are like and gets pretty confusing with who's singing to who.

Seth and Marc sift through the Stalkers Guide as written by Simon LeBon and Company with the song Hungry Like The Wolf. And they enlist the talents of Andrew Bernard to figure out some of what the hell is going on. Absolutely a banger musically but high on the creep factor. Special Guest: Andrew Bernard.

YEEAOOOWWW ROWROR! According to Mr. Idol, it's time to do a bunch of stuff with a cradle. Seth and Marc do the dirty job of tearing this disjointed mess apart but when it comes down to it, all we really know is Billy wants to fuck a "little child bride" and we think it's gross. And please... no one look at Seth's search history,

Move yourself! Seth and Marc tackle a beloved band from their musical pasts and great punchline to many Abbott-and-Costello-esque joke routines; Yes. Unfortunately, this ain't no Roundabout... this is their foray into 80's music and bipolar motivational speaking.

Marc and Seth are collecting all of the pieces of nothing that fall... whatever that's supposed to mean. Listen to the unveiling of what this song is really about if you've ever just thought it was something to sing to your significant other.

Take heed! Lyrical "poet" Rob Van Winkle's 1990 hit Ice Ice Baby gets a good once over courtesy of Marc and Seth. Clunky lines, terrible idioms, and false bravado abound! Hear a setp by step breakdown of the song that catapulted White People into rap experts.

What's that terrible smell? Ahhh yes. It's the stench of Good Charlotte lyrics. Marc and Seth look as deeply as one can into the shallow pool of misogyny and confused message that is Girls And Boys. Take a trip with them and try to figure out what the hell is going on.

We're gonna go back to the days of the mid-late 90's when puka shell necklaces and kegstands were all rage... Also in the national zeitgeist at the time? Being a fucking peeping tom with abandonment issues, apparently. Topped off with a nursery rhyme! Dave Matthews and his band of talented misfits unleashed this anthem for stalkers onto a mostly unknowing crowd. We can stay silent no longer.

Pull up a beach chair, some personal ads, and a fruity drink! Seth and Marc bring to light the true story behind the sing along that probably caused the Jonestown Massacre. We learn that Rupert Holmes doesn't know how personal ads (or marriages) work and what really happens to the famous couple.

Break out your Stetson and some Wranglers and bind and gag Toby Keith! Marc and Seth tackle a real Southern anthem to incestuous threesomes and bailing your buddy out of shitty situations he chose to get himself into.... all tied together by one of the clunkiest attempts at a tagline ever. Fun!

A supersized episode for a supersized piece of shit song! Marc and Seth recruit real Crazy Town professional Elyse in to help figure out what the fuck this song is. About as romantic as school bus crash, Shifty Shellshock and Epic Mazur pen this shitty poetry to some very unlucky women who would probably rather their eyes eaten out by rats. Special Guest: Elyse Maher.

After putting it off as long as they could, Marc and Seth finally take on the task of trying to decipher some of Anthony Kiedis' inane lyrics... and this one is a humdinger. Filled with placeholder two-syllable nonsense and shitty lines that are held together by duct tape, this song is too good for the words inside of it.

Marc and Seth take on Kip, Reb and Co. while breaking down the song Seventeen by Winger. Not only is this song gross, but it also has a Tenet-esque timeline where we're seemingly jumping through portals. Who would've guessed a guy named Kip would be an unreliable narrator?

Seth and Marc invite old friend and Cocaine Specialist John Cappozzo over to discuss the "anti-drug" song Cocaine. Originally written by JJ Cale and made famous by Cocaine Specialist Eric Clapton, this song has the rhyming scheme of a 3rd graders' poetry and sounds like cocaine is pretty handy... especially for an "anti-drug" song. Special Guest: John Cappozzo.

Seth and Marc listen to Brandon Boyd and Co. make a mountain out of a molehill. Make no mistake about it... 23 was a rough age for the singer-cum-sex icon. But so bad that he was on the verge of exploding? We hardly think so.

Seth and Marc put on some thick gold chains and bust it b-boy style with one of the strangest pro-date/pro-bestiality/pro-transphobic songs of all time. Every verse gets stranger culminating in what finally makes him hang up his concoction... the threat of marriage!

Seth and Marc do that cool thing where someone clears off the table with a big swipe and unfurl a large map of the Motherland Of Humanity: Africa! Unfortunately, it was written by some dorky white musical prodigies who only knew the continent from Nat Geo and commercials. A failed love plot briefly mentioned, "mystical lyrics" by way of bad poetry, and geographical errors. We're here for it.

Special Guest: Aaron Melcher.

Seth and Marc take a swan dive into the pathetic and increasingly rabid lyrics of Take A Chance On Me. Even the beautiful members of ABBA are sometimes on the non-receiving end of unrequited love and according to these words, they don't deal with it very well. It starts of sad and quickly gets pretty creepy.

Seth and Marc are hopping into the Creep Delorean with Nice Guy's owner Greg Gebhard and saved a seat for you! Take a trip in the wayyyyyback machine... back to a time where a man could openly write a song about stalking women and probably jerking off in some nicely trimmed hedges. This song gets worse and worse as it goes on which is a special kind of hell and leaves you wondering where the story...

It's Bush 2: Electric Bugaloo! Seth and Marc listen to some more this-or-that bullshit from Mr. Rossdale from a song that is allegedly about "feeling encumbered by life and overtaken by life and dwarfed by life" but also be about sweet, sweet methamphetamine. I KEELL!

Sometimes I'm Marc, sometimes you're Seth. Now I'm talking, always I'm silent. Bush sucks, Bush isn't good. Listen to Seth and Marc marvel at the tangled web of dichotomies that Gavin Rossdale weaves together like some kind of 7th grade spider.

Seth and Marc hide out in the closet with Pete Wentz & Co. for the whiny rock anthem of the Aughts. Clumsy metaphors are abound in this wannabe-gotcha "emo" song that is unfortunately too catchy than it has any right to be.

Seth and Marc peel back a few layers of the lyrical onion that is the 1999 feel-good(?) summer hit aptly titled Summer Girls. Filled to the brim with "inside jokes" and non-sequiturs like a glass full of lemonade on a hot July day... except lemonade is good and this song sucks. Seth finds himself amazed at some uncovered depth as shallow as it may be.

The guys tackle their first country song and look deep into the true meaning of Big And Rich as an entity; are they one? At the same time, they ponder the shrouded world of horse kinks and whether or not this song supports it.