Lyrics To Go

You wake up in the middle of the night. The room is pitch black. Is that the sound of an angel pumping on your floor? Seth and Marc throw on the lights and take a look at the atrocious lyrics behind yet another horny Billy Idol song..... the man who will do whatever he needs as long as it doesn't mess up his hair.

Seth and Marc crack open the ancient tomes and give you a bit of a history lesson as they school you on the REAL meaning of Zoot Suit Riot. Then, they go over the shitty lyrics of the real song and talk about how singer Steve Perry (Steeve Perry) didn't really seem to care about what really happened or to let you know... just to use that catchy title. Blow, daddy!

Being the UK's best-selling single of all time, you'd think more people would be appalled at the lyrics to Do The Know It's Christmas? Marc and Seth want to make sure they let a few more people know. Check out the song that raised millions for Ethiopian relief while simultaneously saying "What the fuck is Africa like and are these people even human?"

HO HO HO! Seth and Marc discuss Colbie Caillat's song about getting heat exhaustion and hallucinating getting fucked by Santa Claus and possibly Rudolph: Christmas In The Sand. This song is a wild ride and a great way to get everyone horny for the holidays. Enjoy!

Seth and Marc are drunk in Sin City and they don't know if it's the look in your eyes... or maybe it's the dancing juice. What they DO know is this song is weird and coercive. A song about getting drunk with someone and not taking no for an answer that ended up being everyone's marriage anthem. Wild times.

Seth and Marc invite Kyle Anne on to the show to go through the Shakira translated trainwreck that is Whenever, Wherever. We quickly found out why the title of the song is "Suerte" in Spanish because she says the word "lucky" NINE TIMES over 3 verses. Someone should look hereover and thereunder for whoever let these lyrics get recorded and hang them by their toenails. Special Guest: Kyle Anne Bret...

Vitamins S and M breakdown Vitamin C and her song Graduation that might very well have been written for graduating the 5th grade. A song so bad its own lyrics make the rest of its lyrics barely matter and has a rhyme scheme that rivals Dr. Seuss. Also, Canon in D.... in C?!

Marc and Seth hold Deryck and Co. accountable for their shitty turn-of-the-century behavior AND eagerness to rub your face in it. Laughing at old people, calling people names, not showing up for people, and much more!

Seth and Marc don their best paperboy outfits and pull apart Come On Eileen to see what lurks inside! As surprising as it is, this song has some great lyrics. As unsurprising as it is, this song also has some incredibly horny lyrics complete with Dexys Midnight Wingmen egging the titular Eileen on. Prepare for British Poetry.

Seth and Marc enlist long time friend Jamie Carmichael to help power through this sexually charged and possibly religious single from Jessica Simpson. Rife with, what might be, problematic double entendres and a music video that has nothing to do with the song at all, this song poised the would-be Mickey Mouse member for a semi-illustrious music career and getting shat all over by the press. Speci...

Seth and Marc take on the Knights In Satan's Service with their pedophile anthem Christine Sixteen. Watching a teenage girl walk out of a school? Sure! Talking about her like she's a piece of furniture? Go for it! Making references to getting a handjob right of the rip? Do it, Gene! Strap yourselves in, folks.

Seth and Marc have to call in an expert for this MONSTER-osity... Profiles In Eccentricity's own John Fahy has been hating this song since he was a wee lad. For a very spooky Halloween episode, we've brought him in to speak about the shitty sound effects, the stupid storyline, athe full length album, and much more. Special Guest: John Fahy.

Marc and Seth talk love languages and confusing sentences in this week's episode with More Than Words. The first verse is like a proverbial maze that winds up with a pretty fruitless ending. This song is like if you took a funk metal band and gave them an acoustic guitar and told them to write a song about love.... oh wait,

Seth and Marc come at you with a double banger! Do you know what the words are? AND do you know why they were written? Debbie and a band full of people that aren't blonde are taking you through an 80's power pop stalk fest that changes POV back and forth to get you nice and confused.

Seth feels his oats as he and Marc take on some chart-topping 80's country. The Chair is about as close as you get to a choose-your-own-adventure awkward pick up situation. The music video is basically POV porn with everything except the porn. The whole thing is bumbling and the "reveal" is the biggest let down since Titanic. Strait trash.

Oohhhhh my little creepy one, my gross-ass one. Marc and Seth peel back the 80's power-pop shine of The Knack's 1979 hit My Sharona. It's catchy, it's got a great beat, and it tells the real story about a guy relentlessly pursuing a girl 8 years younger than him while both people are in relationships until she caves and dates you. MY YI YI YI YI WOOO!

Seth and Marc crawl into the sordid world of a terrible Cats remake music video and a song that is completely lacking in direction. Who is the titular Warrior? I guess the woman that isn't having the issues? Who's the hunter? Who's the game? What's a stereo jungle child? What the fuck is going on?

Marc and Seth work through lyrics that read like a lost paragraph from the point of view of a sexually charged Benjy from The Sound And The Fury. It starts off just kind of weird and starts to sound like someone who doesn't know what underwear are like and gets pretty confusing with who's singing to who.

Seth and Marc sift through the Stalkers Guide as written by Simon LeBon and Company with the song Hungry Like The Wolf. And they enlist the talents of Andrew Bernard to figure out some of what the hell is going on. Absolutely a banger musically but high on the creep factor. Special Guest: Andrew Bernard.

YEEAOOOWWW ROWROR! According to Mr. Idol, it's time to do a bunch of stuff with a cradle. Seth and Marc do the dirty job of tearing this disjointed mess apart but when it comes down to it, all we really know is Billy wants to fuck a "little child bride" and we think it's gross. And please... no one look at Seth's search history,

Move yourself! Seth and Marc tackle a beloved band from their musical pasts and great punchline to many Abbott-and-Costello-esque joke routines; Yes. Unfortunately, this ain't no Roundabout... this is their foray into 80's music and bipolar motivational speaking.

Marc and Seth are collecting all of the pieces of nothing that fall... whatever that's supposed to mean. Listen to the unveiling of what this song is really about if you've ever just thought it was something to sing to your significant other.

Take heed! Lyrical "poet" Rob Van Winkle's 1990 hit Ice Ice Baby gets a good once over courtesy of Marc and Seth. Clunky lines, terrible idioms, and false bravado abound! Hear a setp by step breakdown of the song that catapulted White People into rap experts.

What's that terrible smell? Ahhh yes. It's the stench of Good Charlotte lyrics. Marc and Seth look as deeply as one can into the shallow pool of misogyny and confused message that is Girls And Boys. Take a trip with them and try to figure out what the hell is going on.

We're gonna go back to the days of the mid-late 90's when puka shell necklaces and kegstands were all rage... Also in the national zeitgeist at the time? Being a fucking peeping tom with abandonment issues, apparently. Topped off with a nursery rhyme! Dave Matthews and his band of talented misfits unleashed this anthem for stalkers onto a mostly unknowing crowd. We can stay silent no longer.