Lyrics To Go

Does anyone smell that? Is that burnt hair? Melting plastic? Oh, I'm sorry.... That's just someone's Sex On Fire. Seth and Marc take on the Followill Clan's 2008 hit about.... maybe having sex with a dead person? Definitely about roadhead. And "kiddie-like playing" which is problematic on a few levels. Y I K E S.

The guys get into the sick mind of Frederick Durst and his merry band of misfits this week with Break Stuff. A song that dares to ask the tough questions like "have you ever had one of those days?" and "how about I break your fucking face?" (yes and no respectively, for the record.) Hit play and take a ride with the biggest chainsaw wielding madman since Leatherface.

Seth and Marc take Adam Levine and his 4 red brethren on with the vaguely-threatening-sounding She Will Be Loved. Is this song about a prostitute? Is it written in first or third person? What in the fuck is going on in the music video? Every step forward creates more questions.

Marc is outnumbered as he goes toe-to-toe against not just Seth but also very special guest Patrick who brought this song to our doorstep like the Barely Breathing carcass of a rodent left by a proud cat. The name of that carcass is Walk On The Ocean by Toad The Wet Sprocket.... a strange name for a rodent, we agree. Much to Marc's chagrin, the writer of the lyrics agrees that the song is hogwash....

This is a new low on the podcast ladies, gentlemen and everyone in between. Technically not a single, it's a popular song within certain circles and it's just so bad all around we had to do it... O.A.R.'s "That Was A Crazy Game Of Poker" is so terrible, Seth and Marc find themselves mute at times before spiraling into anger and anguish. Grab some popcorn.... it's a long one.

I dare any horny people out there to go toe-to-toe with Salt and/or Pepa! This song is all about getting juicy in nature's humidifier by looking at attractive black men. But the song starts to take a weird turn and by the third verse, it's falling apart. Throw an epithet in there and some powerful semen and you've got a full-blown train wreck by the end. This song makes me want to take a shoop.

Seth and Marc think they have an easy week ahead of them.... just some dumb lyrics about getting caught up in the rat race of a 9 to 5 job, right? We're not so sure... this song is chock full of deity-esque allusions and instructions on how to take a piece of someone's heart. And who are they singing to? To find out, we gotta start from the start.

Hawaii is the home to some gorgeous culture and scenery... it is also responsible for the man who did this. Seth and Marc try to work through the college bros' Anthony Kiedis who bought an acoustic guitar instead of putting a sock on his dick. A love song that was almost certainly written while on pills of some kind, this somehow helped him manage to win over a beautiful woman so who are we to jud...

Imagine if you went to a rave, probably did a lot of drugs, laying in the grass, were in the middle of a fight with your sister, and wrote a song about how you were feeling in "tribal lunar speak." You'd probably get whatever the fuck mess this is. Seth and Marc bob their heads to a great sample with lyrics that sink this bad boy like the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Marc and Seth are here with Uncle Kracker to tuck you in a night behind your husband's back. Let the needle drop on the hit album Double Wide and let the radio waves wash over you with a sweet song about infidelity and empty promises. It's probably better that you won't find nobody else like him.

Surprise! You're getting fucked by Enrique Iglesias whether you knew it or not. Seth and Marc comb through the "not arrogant" lyrics of Tonight (I'm Fucking You) which turns out to be incredibly arrogant. Who knew?! Listen to the guys comb through one of the highest Creep Factors they've had in a minute.

Marc releases his wrath on a song that's been bugging him a little more than he realized and Seth lends a supportive ear. The target of their woes? Breakfast At Tiffany's. A song so offensive in its mediocrity that it's driven the guys to the brink of madness. Listen to them vent about everything from the racism in the movie to the fact that the song wasn't inspired by the movie at all.

Seth and Marc wade through the mess of "mystery" lyrics that seem pretty obvious with Seal's's's Kiss From A Rose. How can a song so good also be so dumb? Get deep into the YA poetry of the song that almost got scrapped.

Marc and Seth travel deep into the heart of Haiti to uncover the secret to becoming a "zombi" and, instead, come back with this hunk of shit. Sully and crew write a song that sounds like it's about heroin but is instead about something much more boring.... a movie. The guys go through this with a fine-toothed comb but not before calling them on their bullshit claim surrounding their name.

Is it a byproduct of some yet-to-be-named disease? Is it just good ol' fashioned horniness? Whatever it is, the boys in Foreigner are Hot Blooded and they are open to the idea of you looking for yourself. Seth and Marc get into the increasingly creepy 70's anthem about how hard it was to be a rocker in the golden age of rock.

Let's get into some good ol' fashioned folk. Back when someone would say "Hey, cat. You look bummed out. Just go fuck someone to forget about that person you're in love with." Marc and Seth get in the wayback machine to a simpler time when people just sexed their troubles away and talked about things like "fisted gloves" in Stephen Stills' hit Love The One You're With.

Is that partial 3rd person narration we hear? Is Corey Hart losing his marbles? Seth and Marc feel around for some rhyme or reason to the 80's creepy hit that is apparently about being cheated on and trying to not see it? Except it doesn't really succeed in explaining what the fuck is going on and reads like a weirdo talking about switchblades.

WAKE UP! Marc and Seth are joined by screen printing professional and all-around bad ass Joe Lachut to... be kind of surprised by the lyrics to an angry circus song. We get into the thick of the verse and chorus that just repeats plus that other part and talk about weird delivery working overtime against lyrics that are actually pretty captivating. Special Guest: Joe Lachut.

Seth and Marc field a request for a song that resides deep in the depths of Marc's hate bin. Lullaby; the song that Shawn Mullins is so enamored with, he laughs at his own lyrics. Listen to Beck-lite pull an opposite of Hey Jude and take a better song and make it sad. Good luck sleeping after hearing Ol' Man Mullins talk like a sketchy heroin dealer trying to "lull" your 9 year old daughter.

I was hosting a podcast with my good friend Seth... that much is true. This song is about being a real creepy dick, did you ever have a clue? Listen in as the guys listen to the threats and coercion of a jealous shitbag who can't stand someone leaving him. Sounds like she's out of his.... Human League.

Marc and Seth Raise their respective Glasses to the best panty snatcher of them all... Pink! On this episode, listen as she lures all of the miscreants of the world into non-stop drinking and wishing for them to just freak out (whatever that entails.)

Seth and Marc talk about the title track of the soundtrack to Stephen King's coke-fueled directorial debut AND finale Maximum Overdrive. It also asks one of the dumbest faux philosophical questions of our age: Who Made Who? Listen to Marc's Elmo version of Brian Johnson as the guys try to figure out what the fuck is happening here.

Seth and Marc bring in good friends Rachelle and Daisy Caplan to dismember the lyrics to Shake It by Metro Station. Is it possible that this song is about necrophilia? Withholding a safe ride in exchange for sexual congress? We think it's quite likely. ALSO! The thrilling story of the band name! Special Guests: Daisy Caplan and Rachelle Caplan.

It's hard for us to give just one... FUCK about this pile of shit. Are David Draiman and Co. using antisemitism as a way to push a terrible song? I would say quite possibly. Lyrics that are supposedly about his relationship that was soured due to his Jewish upbringing but sounds more like just a shitty nu metal song with terrible lyrics. Judge for yourself.

You wake up in the middle of the night. The room is pitch black. Is that the sound of an angel pumping on your floor? Seth and Marc throw on the lights and take a look at the atrocious lyrics behind yet another horny Billy Idol song..... the man who will do whatever he needs as long as it doesn't mess up his hair.