Lyrics To Go

Horniness ahead! Seth and Marc talk about a topic they could go on and on about for days... Mariah Carey. On the brink, and in the process, of getting out from clutches of her husband Tony Mottola, she was reformed and ready to get horny. But this song sounds like it might be more about something more addictive than love... and we don't mean honey.

Rod's back, baby! And he brought Ronnie Wood with him to tell stories about traveling the world, being so hot and famous you cause a stampede, and then being racist toward Asian people. Why don't we wrap it up by repeating the song title 24 times which has absolutely nothing to do with anything in the song? Whatever, Rod. Just leave the woman in the cabin alone.

Hej! Seth and Marc take on the the Ace of Base smash hit All That She Wants. Is this song about a woman trying to trick men into planting their seed in her a la Heart to collect welfare or is she just looking to get plowed like a Swedish potato field? Or is she hunting men for sport? The guys take a look and also discuss one members' shady past.

What to do when your significant other leaves town for holiday? Why, you call up an old flame and throw every trick in the book at her to go to sexy town and then tell her to shut up about it... at least that's what The Outfield seem to think. Listen as Seth and Marc get weirded out by the list of symptoms the narrator mentions from lack of punanny that sound like someone going through withdrawals...

A song so bad that Seth and Marc had to just jump into it. It's every kind of bad a song can be.... it's Hot Action Cop talking about being addicted to the "flava" of vaginas and begging a woman to stick various things in her until she finally relents, I guess. Atrocious. All we can do is hope the titular fever is terminal.

Who had "Joe Jackson is a borderline incel" on their 1979 bingo card? I certainly didn't. But here we are... stalking, possibly racist comments, and maybe even some manslaughter thrown in for good measure all because women he is obsessed with are fucking other guys he think are ugly. Yes, Joe... something IS going wrong around here.

Easy work for the guys this week with a song that was voted Worst Lyrics by a BBC show; Life by Des'ree. Not only are the lyrics simple and terrible, but they're also random and terrible. And terrible. Oof. Terrible.

What has 2 heads, 4 eyes, one Ultimate Frisbee Championship, and a hit song chock full of misogyny and cringey lyrics? That's right... it's 3OH!3! Marc and Seth try to unravel whatever the fuck is going on with this shithead negging madman who decides that the best way to a woman's heart is telling her to shut up and then make fun of a disabled person. Interesting....

Seth and Marc usher in the one man more American Bad Asser than Kid Rock.... Nick Hanlon to the rescue! The guys get together to talk about the Larry The Cable Guy of Country Rap. Robert Ritchie, ex-horse watcher on 6 acres, talking about the double wide life, how he doesn't "play with ass," and referencing the Oklahoma City bombing. Special Guest: Nick Hanlon.

Does anyone smell that? Is that burnt hair? Melting plastic? Oh, I'm sorry.... That's just someone's Sex On Fire. Seth and Marc take on the Followill Clan's 2008 hit about.... maybe having sex with a dead person? Definitely about roadhead. And "kiddie-like playing" which is problematic on a few levels. Y I K E S.

The guys get into the sick mind of Frederick Durst and his merry band of misfits this week with Break Stuff. A song that dares to ask the tough questions like "have you ever had one of those days?" and "how about I break your fucking face?" (yes and no respectively, for the record.) Hit play and take a ride with the biggest chainsaw wielding madman since Leatherface.

Seth and Marc take Adam Levine and his 4 red brethren on with the vaguely-threatening-sounding She Will Be Loved. Is this song about a prostitute? Is it written in first or third person? What in the fuck is going on in the music video? Every step forward creates more questions.

Marc is outnumbered as he goes toe-to-toe against not just Seth but also very special guest Patrick who brought this song to our doorstep like the Barely Breathing carcass of a rodent left by a proud cat. The name of that carcass is Walk On The Ocean by Toad The Wet Sprocket.... a strange name for a rodent, we agree. Much to Marc's chagrin, the writer of the lyrics agrees that the song is hogwash....

This is a new low on the podcast ladies, gentlemen and everyone in between. Technically not a single, it's a popular song within certain circles and it's just so bad all around we had to do it... O.A.R.'s "That Was A Crazy Game Of Poker" is so terrible, Seth and Marc find themselves mute at times before spiraling into anger and anguish. Grab some popcorn.... it's a long one.

I dare any horny people out there to go toe-to-toe with Salt and/or Pepa! This song is all about getting juicy in nature's humidifier by looking at attractive black men. But the song starts to take a weird turn and by the third verse, it's falling apart. Throw an epithet in there and some powerful semen and you've got a full-blown train wreck by the end. This song makes me want to take a shoop.

Seth and Marc think they have an easy week ahead of them.... just some dumb lyrics about getting caught up in the rat race of a 9 to 5 job, right? We're not so sure... this song is chock full of deity-esque allusions and instructions on how to take a piece of someone's heart. And who are they singing to? To find out, we gotta start from the start.

Hawaii is the home to some gorgeous culture and scenery... it is also responsible for the man who did this. Seth and Marc try to work through the college bros' Anthony Kiedis who bought an acoustic guitar instead of putting a sock on his dick. A love song that was almost certainly written while on pills of some kind, this somehow helped him manage to win over a beautiful woman so who are we to jud...

Imagine if you went to a rave, probably did a lot of drugs, laying in the grass, were in the middle of a fight with your sister, and wrote a song about how you were feeling in "tribal lunar speak." You'd probably get whatever the fuck mess this is. Seth and Marc bob their heads to a great sample with lyrics that sink this bad boy like the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Marc and Seth are here with Uncle Kracker to tuck you in a night behind your husband's back. Let the needle drop on the hit album Double Wide and let the radio waves wash over you with a sweet song about infidelity and empty promises. It's probably better that you won't find nobody else like him.

Surprise! You're getting fucked by Enrique Iglesias whether you knew it or not. Seth and Marc comb through the "not arrogant" lyrics of Tonight (I'm Fucking You) which turns out to be incredibly arrogant. Who knew?! Listen to the guys comb through one of the highest Creep Factors they've had in a minute.

Marc releases his wrath on a song that's been bugging him a little more than he realized and Seth lends a supportive ear. The target of their woes? Breakfast At Tiffany's. A song so offensive in its mediocrity that it's driven the guys to the brink of madness. Listen to them vent about everything from the racism in the movie to the fact that the song wasn't inspired by the movie at all.

Seth and Marc wade through the mess of "mystery" lyrics that seem pretty obvious with Seal's's's Kiss From A Rose. How can a song so good also be so dumb? Get deep into the YA poetry of the song that almost got scrapped.

Marc and Seth travel deep into the heart of Haiti to uncover the secret to becoming a "zombi" and, instead, come back with this hunk of shit. Sully and crew write a song that sounds like it's about heroin but is instead about something much more boring.... a movie. The guys go through this with a fine-toothed comb but not before calling them on their bullshit claim surrounding their name.

Is it a byproduct of some yet-to-be-named disease? Is it just good ol' fashioned horniness? Whatever it is, the boys in Foreigner are Hot Blooded and they are open to the idea of you looking for yourself. Seth and Marc get into the increasingly creepy 70's anthem about how hard it was to be a rocker in the golden age of rock.

Let's get into some good ol' fashioned folk. Back when someone would say "Hey, cat. You look bummed out. Just go fuck someone to forget about that person you're in love with." Marc and Seth get in the wayback machine to a simpler time when people just sexed their troubles away and talked about things like "fisted gloves" in Stephen Stills' hit Love The One You're With.