Lyrics To Go

Break out your ancient synthesizers and handclaps... Seth and Marc will bring the eggnog and discuss the frightening endurance of the strange and simple Wonderful Christmastime. Did he write it when he was 8? Why can't we look down? Why didn't anyone tell him how boring this song is?

Seth and Marc can't get enough shitting all over Nickelback. This time, it's their weird and questionable pro-bro-anthem Figured You Out which posits that even though the narrator loved all of these behaviors from the beginning, it's okay to suddenly change course and say he knows the "real" her and dump her while nothing changes. Classic.

As soon as we decided on doing another Red Hot Chili peppers song, I had to call in my bud who can't stand them. Greg from Nice Guys stops back in to help unfurl the lyrical diarrhea that AKieds is spewing out of both ends this time; like usual, 10% sense making to 90% insane drivel... and hypocritical drivel at that. Special Guest: Greg Gebhard.

Seth and Marc take a look at the song with a title that wouldn't age too well.... P.Y.T. What's this all about and why is he being so insistent? And what in the fuck is a tenderoni?

Seth and Marc grab their sequined gloves, their pet chimps, and their arrested development from being pushed to the point of exhaustion as a child and tackle the extremely repetitive Smooth Criminal... the song that made everybody named "Annie" want to immediately change it.

EPISODE 100! We sit down with dear friend and co-host of our sister podcast Know Nonsense Trivia Podcast Lee The B to uncover the true meaning behind How Bizarre. What starts out sounding like a song about a boring acid trip where cops harass you, you see a ringmaster come out of a poster, and you ask for people to pay to find out what happens at the end of the story ends up possibly being about s...

Marc and Seth throw some essentials into a suitcase and take off with the lovely Lisa Stansfield to find her baby in the terribly creepy and non-self aware All Around The World.

The Honorable Shitty British Boy Band presiding... What do you get when Simon Cowell puts together a 3rd rate boy band and put them in a room with some Norwegian producers? Unfortunately, it seems like you get a terrible song with about a baker's dozen references to court-oriented stuff but without really knowing how court works. And bad rapping.

BOO! There's only one thing scarier than ghouls and goblins on Halloween.... and that is Van Halen fronted by Gary Cherone! We brought you the next scariest thing; Van Halen fronted by a very horny Sammy Hagar. Why not compare love-filled sex to a dense bread? Well, we'll tell you why.

The dudes take a crack at Modest Mouse's idea of a positive song.... whether you like it or not. Isaac Brock tries on some of his weird codified language for this positivity-through-nihilism anthem and we're not so sure it works.

A slight change of course... Seth and Marc aren't talking about lyrics that are bad, but about a song that is misinterpreted... The Boss's Born In The USA. Often seen by fist-pumping, over-excited people who just like to chant "U!S!A!" a lot as a pro-patriot anthem, the truth is much darker.

Seth and Marc are back together post-Hurricane Ian to listen to Travie McCoy and Bruno Mars wax poetic about what he would do if he was a billionaire. The short list? Have a TV show, wake up in different cities, play basketball with the president, and MAYBE help with Hurricane Katrina victims. This guy kind of sucks.

The guys take a little trip to the Caribbean to visit the troublesome reggae hit Sweat by the Bad Boys of Inner Circle. If the music video has anything to say about what's going on here, we got a song about a guy getting a littllllle ahead of himself because he saw someone smile and immediately thinks that's a good queue to tell her he wants to fuck her into exhaustion. Not what we'd recommend. Be...

Seth and Marc are here to tell you what this song is about. Mark Foster and his People are here to tell you how great they are and how truly important this song is. Today, we look at what's going on in this repetitive earworm outside of the boring chorus and talk about whether or not it hits the Mark.

Yikes. Double yikes. TRIPLE yikes, even. This short-played single dealing with abuse seen as love through the eyes of the abused was pretty instantly put on the back burner and with good reason. Carole King and her then husband writing a song about their babysitter who was showing up bruised at the hands of her boyfriend and making it into a hit with Phil Spector? QUADRUPLE YIKES.

Horniness ahead! Seth and Marc talk about a topic they could go on and on about for days... Mariah Carey. On the brink, and in the process, of getting out from clutches of her husband Tony Mottola, she was reformed and ready to get horny. But this song sounds like it might be more about something more addictive than love... and we don't mean honey.

Rod's back, baby! And he brought Ronnie Wood with him to tell stories about traveling the world, being so hot and famous you cause a stampede, and then being racist toward Asian people. Why don't we wrap it up by repeating the song title 24 times which has absolutely nothing to do with anything in the song? Whatever, Rod. Just leave the woman in the cabin alone.

Hej! Seth and Marc take on the the Ace of Base smash hit All That She Wants. Is this song about a woman trying to trick men into planting their seed in her a la Heart to collect welfare or is she just looking to get plowed like a Swedish potato field? Or is she hunting men for sport? The guys take a look and also discuss one members' shady past.

What to do when your significant other leaves town for holiday? Why, you call up an old flame and throw every trick in the book at her to go to sexy town and then tell her to shut up about it... at least that's what The Outfield seem to think. Listen as Seth and Marc get weirded out by the list of symptoms the narrator mentions from lack of punanny that sound like someone going through withdrawals...

A song so bad that Seth and Marc had to just jump into it. It's every kind of bad a song can be.... it's Hot Action Cop talking about being addicted to the "flava" of vaginas and begging a woman to stick various things in her until she finally relents, I guess. Atrocious. All we can do is hope the titular fever is terminal.

Who had "Joe Jackson is a borderline incel" on their 1979 bingo card? I certainly didn't. But here we are... stalking, possibly racist comments, and maybe even some manslaughter thrown in for good measure all because women he is obsessed with are fucking other guys he think are ugly. Yes, Joe... something IS going wrong around here.

Easy work for the guys this week with a song that was voted Worst Lyrics by a BBC show; Life by Des'ree. Not only are the lyrics simple and terrible, but they're also random and terrible. And terrible. Oof. Terrible.

What has 2 heads, 4 eyes, one Ultimate Frisbee Championship, and a hit song chock full of misogyny and cringey lyrics? That's right... it's 3OH!3! Marc and Seth try to unravel whatever the fuck is going on with this shithead negging madman who decides that the best way to a woman's heart is telling her to shut up and then make fun of a disabled person. Interesting....

Seth and Marc usher in the one man more American Bad Asser than Kid Rock.... Nick Hanlon to the rescue! The guys get together to talk about the Larry The Cable Guy of Country Rap. Robert Ritchie, ex-horse watcher on 6 acres, talking about the double wide life, how he doesn't "play with ass," and referencing the Oklahoma City bombing. Special Guest: Nick Hanlon.

Does anyone smell that? Is that burnt hair? Melting plastic? Oh, I'm sorry.... That's just someone's Sex On Fire. Seth and Marc take on the Followill Clan's 2008 hit about.... maybe having sex with a dead person? Definitely about roadhead. And "kiddie-like playing" which is problematic on a few levels. Y I K E S.