Lyrics To Go

Pull up a beach chair, some personal ads, and a fruity drink! Seth and Marc bring to light the true story behind the sing along that probably caused the Jonestown Massacre. We learn that Rupert Holmes doesn't know how personal ads (or marriages) work and what really happens to the famous couple.

Break out your Stetson and some Wranglers and bind and gag Toby Keith! Marc and Seth tackle a real Southern anthem to incestuous threesomes and bailing your buddy out of shitty situations he chose to get himself into.... all tied together by one of the clunkiest attempts at a tagline ever. Fun!

A supersized episode for a supersized piece of shit song! Marc and Seth recruit real Crazy Town professional Elyse in to help figure out what the fuck this song is. About as romantic as school bus crash, Shifty Shellshock and Epic Mazur pen this shitty poetry to some very unlucky women who would probably rather their eyes eaten out by rats. Special Guest: Elyse Maher.

After putting it off as long as they could, Marc and Seth finally take on the task of trying to decipher some of Anthony Kiedis' inane lyrics... and this one is a humdinger. Filled with placeholder two-syllable nonsense and shitty lines that are held together by duct tape, this song is too good for the words inside of it.

Marc and Seth take on Kip, Reb and Co. while breaking down the song Seventeen by Winger. Not only is this song gross, but it also has a Tenet-esque timeline where we're seemingly jumping through portals. Who would've guessed a guy named Kip would be an unreliable narrator?

Seth and Marc invite old friend and Cocaine Specialist John Cappozzo over to discuss the "anti-drug" song Cocaine. Originally written by JJ Cale and made famous by Cocaine Specialist Eric Clapton, this song has the rhyming scheme of a 3rd graders' poetry and sounds like cocaine is pretty handy... especially for an "anti-drug" song. Special Guest: John Cappozzo.

Seth and Marc listen to Brandon Boyd and Co. make a mountain out of a molehill. Make no mistake about it... 23 was a rough age for the singer-cum-sex icon. But so bad that he was on the verge of exploding? We hardly think so.

Seth and Marc put on some thick gold chains and bust it b-boy style with one of the strangest pro-date/pro-bestiality/pro-transphobic songs of all time. Every verse gets stranger culminating in what finally makes him hang up his concoction... the threat of marriage!

Seth and Marc do that cool thing where someone clears off the table with a big swipe and unfurl a large map of the Motherland Of Humanity: Africa! Unfortunately, it was written by some dorky white musical prodigies who only knew the continent from Nat Geo and commercials. A failed love plot briefly mentioned, "mystical lyrics" by way of bad poetry, and geographical errors. We're here for it.

Special Guest: Aaron Melcher.

Seth and Marc take a swan dive into the pathetic and increasingly rabid lyrics of Take A Chance On Me. Even the beautiful members of ABBA are sometimes on the non-receiving end of unrequited love and according to these words, they don't deal with it very well. It starts of sad and quickly gets pretty creepy.

Seth and Marc are hopping into the Creep Delorean with Nice Guy's owner Greg Gebhard and saved a seat for you! Take a trip in the wayyyyyback machine... back to a time where a man could openly write a song about stalking women and probably jerking off in some nicely trimmed hedges. This song gets worse and worse as it goes on which is a special kind of hell and leaves you wondering where the story...

It's Bush 2: Electric Bugaloo! Seth and Marc listen to some more this-or-that bullshit from Mr. Rossdale from a song that is allegedly about "feeling encumbered by life and overtaken by life and dwarfed by life" but also be about sweet, sweet methamphetamine. I KEELL!

Sometimes I'm Marc, sometimes you're Seth. Now I'm talking, always I'm silent. Bush sucks, Bush isn't good. Listen to Seth and Marc marvel at the tangled web of dichotomies that Gavin Rossdale weaves together like some kind of 7th grade spider.

Seth and Marc hide out in the closet with Pete Wentz & Co. for the whiny rock anthem of the Aughts. Clumsy metaphors are abound in this wannabe-gotcha "emo" song that is unfortunately too catchy than it has any right to be.

Seth and Marc peel back a few layers of the lyrical onion that is the 1999 feel-good(?) summer hit aptly titled Summer Girls. Filled to the brim with "inside jokes" and non-sequiturs like a glass full of lemonade on a hot July day... except lemonade is good and this song sucks. Seth finds himself amazed at some uncovered depth as shallow as it may be.

The guys tackle their first country song and look deep into the true meaning of Big And Rich as an entity; are they one? At the same time, they ponder the shrouded world of horse kinks and whether or not this song supports it.

Seth and Marc invite another elusive Ford Brother into the mix. Matt helps them weed through the classism and forced-sex narrative of the summer feel-good hit In The Summertime. Special Guest: Matt Ford.

Despite owning up to the fact that they might be nice and even a tad talented, Seth and Marc take great joy in tearing apart Nickelback... specifically the schlock that is the hit song Rockstar. Overly-excited lyrics about anorexia nervosa, drug use that sounds like it would kill a small elephant, and an unhealthy addiction to all things Playboy as well as a comparison to Elvis? Get out of here.

Marc and Seth dive deep into the mind of the Patrick Bateman-esque singer of Wang Hung (not Hung Chung.) Join them on their nostalgic trip down memory lane back when you could grab your lady by whatever you wanted to and try to manipulate her by using her "darkest fears" against her through the power of suggestion.

Seth and Marc welcome their first guest; Co-host of the Know Nonsense Trivia Podcast Lee Bretschneider! Together, we discuss the atrocious Puff Daddy song replete with Godzilla screams and the worst Robert Plant impression on record. Special Guest: Lee Bretschneider.

Seth and Marc put themselves through the pain and horror of TWO Train songs back-to-back. Here, the guys attempt to untangle everything from Pat Monahan's cryptic reference to a moonbeam to his untrimmed chest.

The guys stumble upon a fact that throws all preconceived notions out the window! Luckily, the words are so shitty that they have no issues. Narcissism, possible mother-son sexual fantasties, and soy lattes. This song has it all.

With heaviness and sadness in their hearts, Marc and Seth have to take on one of their favorite bands of all time... which is a little easier to do when said band is threatening and gaslighting a partner they repeatedly refer to as "little girl."

Seth and Marc weed through the less-than-subtle Motor City Madman atrocity Wango Tango and Nuge's desire to have coitus with an automobile-cum-woman a la Diamond Dave in Panama.