Lotsa Pasta

Nothing like diggin' up some old bones when we're returning to the content slate, eh? That's why i dug up a particular ghost, a gasp from the past, Mr. SkellyBones to join us on today's closing episode for Alvin Schwartz's Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Fun Fact, Mr. SkellyBones was here to ring in the Scary Stories series we've been doing since Season 2, with the esteemed Bunch of Baby Ducks...

It’s crazy to think about how many possibilities were able to be found in this campaign and how group A overlaps with group B. Even minimally, they were heading toward similar points but have entirely different outcomes. It’s crazy. And it’s not doubt thanks for the differences in Monsters summoned in the finale, of course. We have a couple people who are responsible for multiple appearances and w...

And so we’re here. Group B. 
AKA WILD CARDS. 
This group experience is closest to a “Theatre of the Mind,” with some physical props to help visualize things, type of Dungeons and Dragons game. I borrowed some elements from DnD and Betrayal(House at Haunted Hill) to come up with this. We’re only playing with D6’s(six sided die), and each person gets two. You’ll be hearing me say things like BRAVE o...

Less talk - more action! Night has fallen and the creatures summoned by Part One’s actions are coming to obtain their just desserts. And JUST they are. Monsters, ghosts, demons, alternate dimension PIMPS? Who knows what awaits our classic crew for the climactic ending of CABIN IN THE WOODS. Will everyone make it out alive? No. I can spoil that for you - not everyone does, unfortunately. But how go...

We’re finally here. Episode Two Hundred. The 4th year anniversary in full effect. I really hope this is listenable and interesting to everyone, because I spent a good long while trying to write this, plan this, and get this done. This group experience is closest to a “Theatre of the Mind,” with some physical props to help visualize things, type of Dungeons and Dragons game. I borrowed some element...

There comes a time for every show to come to an end. Today we thank everyone who has been with us along the way. All the stories we’ve read, all the spooks we’ve had, and all the friends we’ve made. This episode, this one specifically, this one is for you. I hope you hotdog and relish this. I hope it leaves you feeling warm and satisfied. I hope you remember this for a long long time. This. Is the...

This is honestly a really fun episode. After leaving, Django texted me and said this is the most fun he’s had on an episode - and I can’t help but feel like it’s a mirror to what he and I were doing 4 years ago. We used to start this show with stupid convo that doesn’t matter and then get into smaller, interesting short stories. He’s been taking the heavy shit for most of the episodes since 100, I...

Terry’s not new but someone else here is trying to convince us that he’s changed. You’re not going to trick us, Jeff! You’re a stupid weeb cosplaying as Heath Ledger’s Joker with all the hashtag edge-lord shit still in full effect. The eclipse hasn’t come. The paradigm has not shifted. Your clothes are different but your SOUL is the same TAINT black. Eh, we’ll read a couple parts, I guess. As long...

Let’s get into the deepest of deep topics we can get into, Charlie. No, not anal. GOD. YES. FAITH. YES. RELIGION. NOoo. But, yes. If something has the ability to make someone go from ATHEISM to BELIEVER, don’t you think it’s like the POWER OF GOD? I mean, it’d have to be something crazy, right? Like God literally parting the clouds and saying, “Wassup? :P,” right? Hm. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe it’s...

Hello, Ms… Siren? May I call you Cannibal? Yes, please have a seat. Yes, I was very interested in your resume. You list both “consuming the flesh of unsuspecting men” and “the ability to hypnotize” very highly, and you do come recommended from a recently deceased colleague, rest his soul. You certainly have a very remarkable CV. When can you start? Maggie(Re-Read)(49:28) Mr. Stringy Comes Home(1:1...

This is unlike anything WhereAmI? Has ever witnessed. He’s not even ready for it. No, like, for real, as we continue the episode, he proves himself less and less able to handle this shit. What have I done? How high have I become? Oh yeah, this one’s fucked up. Here’s a trigger-warning for shit about to get fucked up. Don’t believe me? Well, wait for the part where WhereAmI? Literally walks out of...

I wish I could say my year has begun on the right foot, but it really hasn’t. Just because the number on the calendar changed doesn’t mean shit can’t still come out of nowhere to ruin your day. Here’s to a happy new year of more problems brought on by the people around me and making me indirectly involved with their terrible decision making! gin-gin. Anyway, here’s a story I read by myself a coupl...

What have I done. What have I stooped to. This is rhetorical because not only do I hate Christmas but I hate it enough to relinquish the reins of my show to Frowns McBooHoo for an episode to avoid the humbuggery of the evening. Let’s see if we can get through this in one piece. If so, I’ll see you on the other side in a much brighter, and less shitty, 2021. Holla. The Perfectly Behaved Boy(16:00)...

Merry Christmas, Tenron. Too bad we’re stuck at work, right? This is a drag. I wish I could be at home takin’ a drag, you know what I mean? I’d Ru Paul the shit out of some kush rn, yanno. Roast my chestnuts on an open fire, yanno. Open some presents, to myself. But NO. We’re stuck here at this GOD DAMN gas station again, and who is that at our door? Let’s find out. Merry Christmas from the Gas St...

Would ya look at that - the family is back in time for the holidays. How sweet! I mean, spicy! Right, cause today we’re reading more of the NHBS Forum to share in those remedial short story spooks people all around the world have been submitting for years. It’s interesting stuff, but you know, it’s not TOO interesting. It ain’t hot - after all. It’s just spicy. Dig in. Dead cat(23:35) Clown shoe(3...

It’s been too long since we’ve seen the Doctor and it shows. I need a check-up, Doc, I got a problem. Well, you see. I might be insane. MIGHT be. I’m not sure. You see, there’s this horse-thing going around snatching people up and dragging them down into the sewers like Pennywise. What? No, I’m not currently taking any medication. You want to recommend me some? I’m all for it! The Molendinar Burn(...

Harold had always wanted to do an episode with Strawberry Shortcake. So, why not, I’ve always said. What’s the worst that can happen? Well, next time i’ll ask Ted Danson and Long Ball Larry. And Beverly. Because they knew what I was in for today more than those two assholes. I tried! I really did! Alvin Schwartz deserves the respect and honor of many. But.. but.. well, you’ll see- er- hear? I gues...

How come every time Mark Rooster and I are together we almost never read stories anymore? Oh yeah, it’s because we get too high and start talking about movies and next thing you know — the episode is over. Well, I hope you like a more relaxed episode because it’s nothing serious with me, Mark Rooster, and Alley Cat(Surprise Appearance!), because today we are talking MOVIES. This is the most movies...

Woah, where are we? There is… nothing here. I mean, this place is just EMPTY. Wait, I think I see someone. Is that… it is! Ramses Vanderslice? What is this place? The Void, you say. What is it you do here? Nothing. Huh. Well, I happen to have some shitty stories here, would you wanna do a little storytelling? I guess you’re right, other than to stare into the nothingness, there isn’t much going on...

Did you assume my digital brother from another mother would be back so soon? He glitched into my existence and hasn’t stopped FUCKIN with my shit since. SO he’s back with a vengeance! I GOT A PC, and we talk about the prospects therein, but we also talk about the future of Lotsa Pasta. The ocean is vast and we are many. Then comes Glitch Blob’s Creepypasta origins following the arrows wherever the...

I shot the Sheriff, but I’m getting high with the Deputy. The DewDrop is back and this time we’re getting SCARY and by SCARY I mean, at a 4th Grade Reading Level. Alvin Schwartz’s collection of urban legends and spooky tales is coming back for a revenge. We’re on book 2 folks, this is gonna be an unabridged reading of: MORE Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark(27:57) by Alvin Schwartz Check out our e...

Look at who’s back! I chased him down, I found him, and I dragged him back into the world of the living - with his permission, of course. It’s GESTALT back for another spooky episode where we read YET ANOTHER story about someone dealing with a Poltergeist that is just WAY TOO ACTIVE for its own good. What do you even do in those situations? I don’t know! This episode is probably the closest repres...

This is our last newbie of the 100 class; DSL Daisy is here to bring us home to our final episodes before the big 2-0h-0h. I love being able to introduce another woman on the show, specifically someone I know would be a good fit for LP, and Daisy is no exception. We bring her in with a little fanfare and pageantry before diving into a wonderful story, so be sure to keep an eye on Daisy’s episodes...

Look, fat, look. You made it through part one and you have no reason to NOT listen to part two. Unless of course you do, more power to you. And by that I mean, more power to US. This is part two of the Florida Fiasco with the Big Boyz. You heard it here second, folks, we’re back telling more stupid inclusive jokes and reminiscing the good times before reading MORE stories about spooky Disney shit....

Live with a Hispanic Neighboring Room Audience, from Orlando, Florida, LOOOOoooootsaaaaa PASTAaaaaa! And here comes our host, Captain Death! 
Hey, Everyone! Thank you so much for joining us tonight. I’m very excited to be here with my boys in Florida, being fat and riding rides and being too fat TO ride rides - *cue laugh track.* 
We’ve certainly been keeping ourselves busy, and by that I mean, EA...