Lotsa Pasta

One of my favorite guests is back and it’s been a short while since we’ve seen some of these stories. It’s Cannibal Siren and we’re reading more of One Page Wonder’s Stories to Read Alone at Night. We get into the Halloween Spirit to welcome in the new year, - Why? Because fuck you, that’s why. Then we get into some old school urban legend spooky ghost lore with this shit. It’s a radical little ep...

I’ve been waiting quite some time for this day. You all should know this. I may have talked about it a couple times on prior episodes but the stars -er- clouds did not align until this day. Tenron Otrin joins me, of course, to revisit the horror, the absolute abysmal terror that is Sony Pictures and Screen Gems monstrosity that is Slender Man the movie, released in 2018. What a harrowing tale we w...

I know what you’re thinking. Christmas is over. Why is there a Christmas episode now? Aren’t we done with these? Obviously not, because I’m both a sadist and a masochist. I want to feel the pain and I want to share it with all of you. The pain of the holiday season, coming to a podcast near you, starring Tyler Perry as Madea. I hope you guys like it because it may be the last one we ever do. For r...

What did you think of that first part? Kid needs GTFO, amirite? Too bad he’s broke, in the middle of the woods, with no vehicle, surrounded by cult members. That’s a very no-way-out type of situation, yeah. When you can’t use your muscle, use your brains, right? Find a different way out of your situation by OUTSMARTING the dumb-ass cult. Yeah, that’ll work. Shut the fuck up, Raphael! Sorry, Sofa K...

Royalty has returned to the show and out of nowhere, it seems. What a pleasure to have Sofa King back again so soon and for his first series no less! It’s only a two-parter but this camp-story-gone-cult has a few twists and turns you may not see coming. Is it the best written story we’ve ever read? No, absolutely not. Is it is the best voice work we’ve done? Also no, absolutely not. Was it a fun t...

What a rollercoaster ride of a series, right? I mean, not literally, but LITERALLY, right? In part one we’re just minding our business and doing our thing and next thing you know - we’re all sorts of topsy-turvy. What a ride! This is one of my favorite things I’ve read in a while and I’m so thankful to the author for having done such a wonderful job. I am genuinely honored to read it on my 5 year...

This might be the shortest episode I’ve done in a while. It was quick and sweet. I just wanted to get through the rising action of the second act of this story but without going TOO far. I want the climax of the next episode to come together and culminate in the beauty that is its conclusion. This is all part of the plan, my sweet listener. 
Stay tuned. 
 We Used to Live Here(4:06) by Polterkites...

It’s been five years since the inception of this show. What more can I say. I just want to read a good story by myself. So that’s what I’m going to do. 
 We Used to Live Here(7:56) by Polterkites Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Ramses Vanderslice is back to finish what he started. He’s been handed his bar of soap and he’s gonna wash himself raw, folks. He’s gotta get clean. Cause we’re going back to THE SHOWERS. And it’s gonna get messy. If it hasn’t already, right? After that part one, if we were messy then, then we’re about to get filthy. Is this scary, yet? You decide! Ramses read these and I haven’t heard from him si...

Grab your closest copy of HELLRAISER, folks! Play the beginning of the track and then when we pause for you, start playing your copy of the movie and our show at the same time. It'll be like you're right there with us, as Deputy Dewey and I heckle the shit out of the holiday season. Enjoy! Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Ramses Vanderslice could not have manifested again at a better time. Right out of the void in my heart, he appears with a single word: SHOWERS. I don’t know what he’s getting at. Does he need to shower? If he wants to see my shower? I don’t know but SHOWERS. We give Ramses what he needs, folks, because this two-parter is special. It holds a special place in our 2021 Halloween season-heart as one o...

New Challenger Approaching! I know we just released a new fan-to-record appearance last month with Midnight Bride but I’ve been waiting to release her and today’s guest -TORUS FILTH- for A LONG TIME. Torus Filth comes to us across the globe, through time and space, to share stories about the islands of New Zealand. How I wish to brave those New islands at one point in my life, but until then, we’l...

Imagine, if you will, a thrilling conclusion. An ending of epic porportions. We’ve come this far, and traveled to near-impossible territory. We’ve battled literal demons and ripped through dimensions with manifestations of entities never seen before: All looking to claim souls of the damned. This is sin eater. Not your average fairy tale. No princesses. No knights. No dragons. 
Sin Eater(20:21) by...

Scary stories. Local urban legends. That one friend who told that spooky tale around a campfire that one time. A personal experience, embellished over time to become a product of performance. This is the heart of Not Hot But Spicy. Random people telling their random yarns. Are they real? Who can say. Are they completely made up? No clue. That’s what makes it so compelling. Some of them feel as rea...

Lots of twists and turns await us on today’s episode. It’s the penultimate episode of the Sin Eater Saga and it ends on a hefty cliffhanger. Should I have seen something like this coming? No, not entirely. It’s only a little bit alluded to and the pay off isn’t quite there yet. Django and I had a wonderful time with this episode, Gluttony and Wrath being two of our remaining sins. What little does...

Where do you go when you die? Well, you see, the answer to that specific question has nothing to do with this episode but if you stick around until the very ending seconds, you might find the answer. Anywho, I’m back with the royal Sofa King and we’re here to read about a girl. A SPACE GIRL, except, she’s not from space and we’re just as confused as you are. ENJOY. Space Girl(30:24) by HeadOfSpect...

We’re onto our next meals, I mean, next inmates. We’re stuck at this maximum security prison on some unmarked island in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle - how about that for a set up - but we’re okay being here, right? We’re getting fed. We’re having nice conversations. We’re doing the thing. There’s not shady, ulterior motive at work here at all. Hahah Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub, yay Go...

What’s that in the sky? Is it a floating disc? A flying angular trapezoid? No, it’s the void! God help us all.
 And right next to it IS DR. ENKENSTEIN. And he’s brought bourbon! Let’s get twisted and read some stories, eh? It’s another alien episode and with every alien episode comes another series of bitching about Ridley Scott and his bastardization of the Alien series by his own hand! Yay for t...

You hungry? Because dinner is served. Not just for you, but for you, me, and Django Phillips on today’s episode of Lotsa Pasta. We’re cooking up some spooky spaghetti of epic proportions tonight and I hope y’all are ready for a series of deceitfully decadent dishes. This is the part one of series that is sure to satiate with sinful delight. Join us now for the appetizer on this journey, because th...

It’s tough to already be at the finish line. But here we are. Oh and with your best friend in tow. I say in tow, because he’s been dragging you down the entire time. Trying to desperately kill you. Like a psychopath. 
What a good friend! And so - like I said - we’re at our journey’s end. If you’re sad, don’t be. I’m sure we’ll see David King again, without giving too much away - of course. I Dared...

You’re walking down the aisle. You see your beautiful bride before you down at the end waiting for you. But. Something is wrong. She looks… off. You haven’t seen her since last night but she looks… different. It’s not your to-be-wife! It’s MIDNIGHT BRIDE. Here to join Captain Death on our adventure of spooky spoops and spooky spooks on our ship to the NETHERWORLD. Give here a big warm welcome, fol...

If I dared Frowns McBooHoo to ruin my life, he’d probably just become straight and steal my girlfriend while simultaneously farting in my face. Don’t give him any ideas folks, he doesn’t look at these descriptions. We join our hero XANDER on his quest to save his girlfriend and David Fucking King has laid down a series of not-fart related traps that keep us guessing every step of the way. Next ste...

A three-fer you’ll never forget: it’s Captain Death, Deputy Dewey, and WhereAmI? We’re reading stories about some terrible sights, but mostly terrible sounds and I’m not talking about the cacophony of our butthole noises. Get ready for some Creepypasta VERSUS Reddit NoSleep trio on trio - we got some body horror, some accidental deaths, some purposeful ones, some creepy neighbors and creepy daddie...

What do you get when you mix Frowns McBooHoo, Dick Dastardly, and the Joker? David Fucking King, lemme tell ya. Frowns really runs with this one, so I hope y’all are ready to catch up. We’re here to read a story about two friends who make the worst fucking agreement I’ve ever heard, but kids do stupid shit all the time, so I can’t say I’m surprised. Ruin my life? Good fucking luck. 
I Dared my Bes...

What do you get when you mix a cracked out psychopath and a religious nut-bag? I would've said our former U.S. presidency under Trump and Biden, but no - you get Happy Boy - a story about a cracked out psychopath who meets a religious nut-bag and they get to killin' together. Is anything explained? No! We have an unreliable narrator who's too cracked out and talking to himself to understand what's...