Lotsa Pasta

It’s been five years since the inception of this show. What more can I say. I just want to read a good story by myself. So that’s what I’m going to do. 
 We Used to Live Here(7:56) by Polterkites Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Ramses Vanderslice is back to finish what he started. He’s been handed his bar of soap and he’s gonna wash himself raw, folks. He’s gotta get clean. Cause we’re going back to THE SHOWERS. And it’s gonna get messy. If it hasn’t already, right? After that part one, if we were messy then, then we’re about to get filthy. Is this scary, yet? You decide! Ramses read these and I haven’t heard from him si...

Grab your closest copy of HELLRAISER, folks! Play the beginning of the track and then when we pause for you, start playing your copy of the movie and our show at the same time. It'll be like you're right there with us, as Deputy Dewey and I heckle the shit out of the holiday season. Enjoy! Check out our episodes on Youtube!
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Ramses Vanderslice could not have manifested again at a better time. Right out of the void in my heart, he appears with a single word: SHOWERS. I don’t know what he’s getting at. Does he need to shower? If he wants to see my shower? I don’t know but SHOWERS. We give Ramses what he needs, folks, because this two-parter is special. It holds a special place in our 2021 Halloween season-heart as one o...

New Challenger Approaching! I know we just released a new fan-to-record appearance last month with Midnight Bride but I’ve been waiting to release her and today’s guest -TORUS FILTH- for A LONG TIME. Torus Filth comes to us across the globe, through time and space, to share stories about the islands of New Zealand. How I wish to brave those New islands at one point in my life, but until then, we’l...

Imagine, if you will, a thrilling conclusion. An ending of epic porportions. We’ve come this far, and traveled to near-impossible territory. We’ve battled literal demons and ripped through dimensions with manifestations of entities never seen before: All looking to claim souls of the damned. This is sin eater. Not your average fairy tale. No princesses. No knights. No dragons. 
Sin Eater(20:21) by...

Scary stories. Local urban legends. That one friend who told that spooky tale around a campfire that one time. A personal experience, embellished over time to become a product of performance. This is the heart of Not Hot But Spicy. Random people telling their random yarns. Are they real? Who can say. Are they completely made up? No clue. That’s what makes it so compelling. Some of them feel as rea...

Lots of twists and turns await us on today’s episode. It’s the penultimate episode of the Sin Eater Saga and it ends on a hefty cliffhanger. Should I have seen something like this coming? No, not entirely. It’s only a little bit alluded to and the pay off isn’t quite there yet. Django and I had a wonderful time with this episode, Gluttony and Wrath being two of our remaining sins. What little does...

Where do you go when you die? Well, you see, the answer to that specific question has nothing to do with this episode but if you stick around until the very ending seconds, you might find the answer. Anywho, I’m back with the royal Sofa King and we’re here to read about a girl. A SPACE GIRL, except, she’s not from space and we’re just as confused as you are. ENJOY. Space Girl(30:24) by HeadOfSpect...

We’re onto our next meals, I mean, next inmates. We’re stuck at this maximum security prison on some unmarked island in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle - how about that for a set up - but we’re okay being here, right? We’re getting fed. We’re having nice conversations. We’re doing the thing. There’s not shady, ulterior motive at work here at all. Hahah Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub, yay Go...

What’s that in the sky? Is it a floating disc? A flying angular trapezoid? No, it’s the void! God help us all.
 And right next to it IS DR. ENKENSTEIN. And he’s brought bourbon! Let’s get twisted and read some stories, eh? It’s another alien episode and with every alien episode comes another series of bitching about Ridley Scott and his bastardization of the Alien series by his own hand! Yay for t...

You hungry? Because dinner is served. Not just for you, but for you, me, and Django Phillips on today’s episode of Lotsa Pasta. We’re cooking up some spooky spaghetti of epic proportions tonight and I hope y’all are ready for a series of deceitfully decadent dishes. This is the part one of series that is sure to satiate with sinful delight. Join us now for the appetizer on this journey, because th...

It’s tough to already be at the finish line. But here we are. Oh and with your best friend in tow. I say in tow, because he’s been dragging you down the entire time. Trying to desperately kill you. Like a psychopath. 
What a good friend! And so - like I said - we’re at our journey’s end. If you’re sad, don’t be. I’m sure we’ll see David King again, without giving too much away - of course. I Dared...

You’re walking down the aisle. You see your beautiful bride before you down at the end waiting for you. But. Something is wrong. She looks… off. You haven’t seen her since last night but she looks… different. It’s not your to-be-wife! It’s MIDNIGHT BRIDE. Here to join Captain Death on our adventure of spooky spoops and spooky spooks on our ship to the NETHERWORLD. Give here a big warm welcome, fol...

If I dared Frowns McBooHoo to ruin my life, he’d probably just become straight and steal my girlfriend while simultaneously farting in my face. Don’t give him any ideas folks, he doesn’t look at these descriptions. We join our hero XANDER on his quest to save his girlfriend and David Fucking King has laid down a series of not-fart related traps that keep us guessing every step of the way. Next ste...

A three-fer you’ll never forget: it’s Captain Death, Deputy Dewey, and WhereAmI? We’re reading stories about some terrible sights, but mostly terrible sounds and I’m not talking about the cacophony of our butthole noises. Get ready for some Creepypasta VERSUS Reddit NoSleep trio on trio - we got some body horror, some accidental deaths, some purposeful ones, some creepy neighbors and creepy daddie...

What do you get when you mix Frowns McBooHoo, Dick Dastardly, and the Joker? David Fucking King, lemme tell ya. Frowns really runs with this one, so I hope y’all are ready to catch up. We’re here to read a story about two friends who make the worst fucking agreement I’ve ever heard, but kids do stupid shit all the time, so I can’t say I’m surprised. Ruin my life? Good fucking luck. 
I Dared my Bes...

What do you get when you mix a cracked out psychopath and a religious nut-bag? I would've said our former U.S. presidency under Trump and Biden, but no - you get Happy Boy - a story about a cracked out psychopath who meets a religious nut-bag and they get to killin' together. Is anything explained? No! We have an unreliable narrator who's too cracked out and talking to himself to understand what's...

Nothing like diggin' up some old bones when we're returning to the content slate, eh? That's why i dug up a particular ghost, a gasp from the past, Mr. SkellyBones to join us on today's closing episode for Alvin Schwartz's Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Fun Fact, Mr. SkellyBones was here to ring in the Scary Stories series we've been doing since Season 2, with the esteemed Bunch of Baby Ducks...

It’s crazy to think about how many possibilities were able to be found in this campaign and how group A overlaps with group B. Even minimally, they were heading toward similar points but have entirely different outcomes. It’s crazy. And it’s not doubt thanks for the differences in Monsters summoned in the finale, of course. We have a couple people who are responsible for multiple appearances and w...

And so we’re here. Group B. 
AKA WILD CARDS. 
This group experience is closest to a “Theatre of the Mind,” with some physical props to help visualize things, type of Dungeons and Dragons game. I borrowed some elements from DnD and Betrayal(House at Haunted Hill) to come up with this. We’re only playing with D6’s(six sided die), and each person gets two. You’ll be hearing me say things like BRAVE o...

Less talk - more action! Night has fallen and the creatures summoned by Part One’s actions are coming to obtain their just desserts. And JUST they are. Monsters, ghosts, demons, alternate dimension PIMPS? Who knows what awaits our classic crew for the climactic ending of CABIN IN THE WOODS. Will everyone make it out alive? No. I can spoil that for you - not everyone does, unfortunately. But how go...

We’re finally here. Episode Two Hundred. The 4th year anniversary in full effect. I really hope this is listenable and interesting to everyone, because I spent a good long while trying to write this, plan this, and get this done. This group experience is closest to a “Theatre of the Mind,” with some physical props to help visualize things, type of Dungeons and Dragons game. I borrowed some element...

There comes a time for every show to come to an end. Today we thank everyone who has been with us along the way. All the stories we’ve read, all the spooks we’ve had, and all the friends we’ve made. This episode, this one specifically, this one is for you. I hope you hotdog and relish this. I hope it leaves you feeling warm and satisfied. I hope you remember this for a long long time. This. Is the...

This is honestly a really fun episode. After leaving, Django texted me and said this is the most fun he’s had on an episode - and I can’t help but feel like it’s a mirror to what he and I were doing 4 years ago. We used to start this show with stupid convo that doesn’t matter and then get into smaller, interesting short stories. He’s been taking the heavy shit for most of the episodes since 100, I...