Lotsa Pasta

It’s the last understatement for this part of the series folks, as we’ve reached our finale on what it means to live in the embodiment of spooky. The atmosphere: spooky. The residents: spooky. The elevator: spooky. The landlord: spooky. Me, I’m well spooked. Cannibal Siren is loving this shit, however, and even though I’m spooked, I am too. This is peak Reddit NoSleep, folks. I don’t think I’ve be...

Mark Rooster has climbed in out of the cold, and I’m trying to talk him into my bedroom like Baby, it’s cold outside. Just like the beautiful, fresh December air that joins Mark Rooster today, he also brings gifts: a veritable Krapmus here to spread the Christmas cheer, eh? For today’s episode is all in thanks to Mark Rooster’s beautiful mind. I’m not talking Russell Crowe, either, I’m talking Lin...

So many twists and turns in this serious, my head is about to spin around like that bitch from The Exorcist, minus the split pea soup. I’m enjoying myself, don’t get me wrong, but we’re losing good characters and putting other good characters in danger almost constantly. Things get a bit more challenging this episode because it looks like our Michael Caine impersonator Derek is missing and we fina...

The kingdom is crippling in debt and it’s all because of this no good inflation. Times they are a changing, Sofa King, and Bob Dylan ain’t the only one suckin and blowin to get by, apparently so is Sofa Prince; I hope to never meet him. As a good host to our good king, I -of course- offered him a sumptuous meal upon his arrival and today we have quite the menu of creepy cavettatappi. Sofa King is...

Part Two and things are getting super cereal. Serial? Yes, the stakes are up. Steaks? More people die and more people get eaten, that’s all I’m trying to say right now. Join Cannibal Siren and I for a quick re-cap and discussion of ideas as we get into what may be going on at the heart of this story. We get new time with new characters and we find out more about what’s going on all over the apartm...

It’s always fun introducing new people to Not Hot But Spicy, because you genuinely never know what you’re going to get. This is one of those things that I think makes our show special because no one probably knows this material exists and no one who wrote these stories on these forums like 15 years ago probably ever expected people to read or narrate their material on a podcast. But I think that’s...

My timing for things is usually ass but I put a lot of thought into when I wanted this series to start and end. One big piece of this goes to Cannibal Siren for literally being one of the best readers I’ve had on the show and for always helping me put shit together, no matter if it’s last minute or months in advance. Another piece of this is the hindsight of having scheduled out pretty much the en...

Let’s have a moment, you and I, here in the dark abyss of this old-ass shady-ass tunnel. A moment of respite to those who we’ve lost on our journey, with a healthy dose of tea; If you don’t mind my sentiment, or lack thereof. People often ask me when certain people are coming back and the truth is, I really don’t know. And worse even, the ones I DO know as the ones that are DEFINITELY NOT coming b...

Oh no, what’s that in the water? It’s hairy, it looks like a Dad, and it’s scared as hell. Holy shit. It’s Scutch MacGee, stepping out of the bog and onto our vessel with the utmost urgency. He’s here to join us on another legendary episode of Lotsa Pasta because we’re back to hail the king, baby. And I’m not talking Elvis. Another short story from an earlier collection of Stephen’s, this one hold...

This is the end, my friends. Her name is Lily Madwhip and we’re at the conclusion. It’s been quite an ADHD riddled adventure, hasn’t it? And we’ve seen young Lillian come so far. She’s faced death, and WASDEMONS, and she’s making friends along the way. I hope everyone enjoyed this series, as we surely did. I’m not saying too much purely out of trying to avoid spoilers, but this is both a satisfyin...

It’s always so much fun to record with friends across the country, specifically when you don’t know what you’re going to end up reading. This episode gets into some seriously triggering territory so this is your first and final warning. We do not vet these stories before we read them on the show, as evidenced by the MANY episodes before this one. All our reactions are live, all subject matter take...

It seems like we close each part of this story on a cliffhanger. Which makes it unusually addicting to listen to, in my opinion. Last episode ended very climax-y. In this third episode, we see a lot of action and a lot of payoff, and it’s not even the ending. We see Meredith finally play her Chekov’s Gun, we see some serious stakes, and we see some interesting powers. This is a fun story. WhereAmI...

It feels like it was just yesterday that Django and I started the Games with Ghoulies series. The idea was simple: Creepypasta has instruction based rituals as stories sometimes. What if we pretended to do them, what would the outcome be? Death, usually. Spooks, maybe. Comedy, undeniably. And with these games and rituals presented before us, sometimes we need that every-man perspective to ground u...

Lily is back at it again with her shenanigans and ADD/ADHD way of speaking. It’s funny, isn’t it? Two 30 year old dudes reading basically glorified fan-fiction of a little 12 year old girl. Yes, there are angels/demons and mind powers and shit around every corner but like, at it’s core, this is a family drama about a little girl. Funny. At least it’s funny to me. WhereAmI? Is probably more at home...

Deputy Dewey, what is that in your pants? Oh no, it’s AQUA-SLASH. Just kidding, we didn’t watch that garbage, instead we just summarized our thoughts with the help of Red Letter Media! Anywho, the relevance of dying in a water park is high and so is the tide. What is going on at Uncle Bob’s Wicked and Wild Waterpark, we ask. The answer? Well, let’s just say some of this shit belongs in some of Dep...

HEY GUYS, It’s me and WhereAmI? In a new series! This one is about a little girl who may be crazy, may be haunted, may be guarded by angels, or may be ‘was-demons.’ I DON’T KNOW YET - Or do I? Well, maybe I do. But you don’t, and that’s the point of listening. Are you not entertained? You should be! Because this kid totally has ADD or ADHD of some kind and this shit is a rollercoaster. ENJOY. My N...

It's been a while since we've visited the gas station. Tenron Otrin was eager to revisit our buddy Jack and see how he's keeping up. The gas station is always easy to jump back into because it's 'more of the same' with 'a little bit new' and it perfectly balances those two without ever changing too much. On today's episode, the NEW comes in the form of animals. Jack has talked about the creatures...

As we enter new territory on today’s episode of Lotsa Pasta, we pay our respects to the forefathers that came before us. Alvin Schwartz and the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Stephen King and his various works. And today. R.L. Stine and his Goosebumps. So much can be said about this man and this series, but instead, how about you listen to the episode for that part. No, this isn’t a deep dive...

One of my favorite guests is back and it’s been a short while since we’ve seen some of these stories. It’s Cannibal Siren and we’re reading more of One Page Wonder’s Stories to Read Alone at Night. We get into the Halloween Spirit to welcome in the new year, - Why? Because fuck you, that’s why. Then we get into some old school urban legend spooky ghost lore with this shit. It’s a radical little ep...

I’ve been waiting quite some time for this day. You all should know this. I may have talked about it a couple times on prior episodes but the stars -er- clouds did not align until this day. Tenron Otrin joins me, of course, to revisit the horror, the absolute abysmal terror that is Sony Pictures and Screen Gems monstrosity that is Slender Man the movie, released in 2018. What a harrowing tale we w...

I know what you’re thinking. Christmas is over. Why is there a Christmas episode now? Aren’t we done with these? Obviously not, because I’m both a sadist and a masochist. I want to feel the pain and I want to share it with all of you. The pain of the holiday season, coming to a podcast near you, starring Tyler Perry as Madea. I hope you guys like it because it may be the last one we ever do. For r...

What did you think of that first part? Kid needs GTFO, amirite? Too bad he’s broke, in the middle of the woods, with no vehicle, surrounded by cult members. That’s a very no-way-out type of situation, yeah. When you can’t use your muscle, use your brains, right? Find a different way out of your situation by OUTSMARTING the dumb-ass cult. Yeah, that’ll work. Shut the fuck up, Raphael! Sorry, Sofa K...

Royalty has returned to the show and out of nowhere, it seems. What a pleasure to have Sofa King back again so soon and for his first series no less! It’s only a two-parter but this camp-story-gone-cult has a few twists and turns you may not see coming. Is it the best written story we’ve ever read? No, absolutely not. Is it is the best voice work we’ve done? Also no, absolutely not. Was it a fun t...

What a rollercoaster ride of a series, right? I mean, not literally, but LITERALLY, right? In part one we’re just minding our business and doing our thing and next thing you know - we’re all sorts of topsy-turvy. What a ride! This is one of my favorite things I’ve read in a while and I’m so thankful to the author for having done such a wonderful job. I am genuinely honored to read it on my 5 year...

This might be the shortest episode I’ve done in a while. It was quick and sweet. I just wanted to get through the rising action of the second act of this story but without going TOO far. I want the climax of the next episode to come together and culminate in the beauty that is its conclusion. This is all part of the plan, my sweet listener. 
Stay tuned. 
 We Used to Live Here(4:06) by Polterkites...