Lotsa Pasta

The Deputy is back and he killed the Sheriff himself. What more need be said? A lot, I suppose. Join us for some NIGHT SWIM and join us for some more hard-boiled cops that play by the rules. No, nothing weird about that. Totally by-the-books procedural here. Nothing out of the ordinary going on. Just regular old story-time with Grandpa. Definitely no nightmare inspiring unsolved mysteries here. De...

So, Slappy haunted my dreams as a kid, that’s no surprise. I’ll talk about that forever. I’ll talk about how the Goosebumps TV show haunted me as a kid. That’s fine. Curse me, if you will. But maybe it is all rose-tinted shades from here on out or really, what are a couple of 30-year old men doing reading Goosebumps anyway? Are we really that far out of the recommended audience to glean anything f...

I’m gonna make that joke about how I drug myself every Christmas Eve, now. Well, I guess I already did, didn’t I? Christmas is supposed to be a day about getting together with the family or those close enough to be blood, and sharing some special time with each other where you don’t just sniff each others farts and lick each others assholes. I mean, if you end up doing either of those literal thin...

I’d make a joke about how I drug myself every Christmas Eve, but it seems too easy. The truth is, I drug myself throughout this entire season. I can’t stand it, to be honest. The entire capitalist, competitive spirit of gift-giving mixed with overbearing debt and rising suicide rates and low mental health for the entirety of winter keeps me as dreary and bleak as the 5PM snow-blind darkness. But h...

BUT YOU’VE GOTTA HAVE FRIENDS. Ain’t that right people? Today’s episode introduces us to a new guest that needs a perfect introduction in an otherwise perfect little contained episode. Royale w/ Cheese wanted to get broken in on some of the King and who am I to supply him with anything but. This is the third time we’re reading King, as we’ve read The Jaunt and The Raft on two other episodes, but t...

The world is changed. I feel it in the creeps. I feel it in the pasta. I smell it in the weed. Much that once was across the fucking planet is now here, for those of us crazy enough to accept it. It began with the forging of a spooky podcast. Three close friends gathered, seeking immortality amongst the internet sovereign. Seven trolls, great trouble makers and jokesters of the caverns old. And ni...

Today is a personal episode for me. I don’t share much about my personal life and I do that on purpose as to not mix what it is about performing on this show with what it means for me to live my life as myself. You see, what I do here on this program is put on a performance, much like in my life, to display that of a regular, spooky-loving dude. But really, it is much more than that. I live the sp...

What can I say, I’m sentimental. I appreciate nostalgia. I like to get back to the classics every once in a while, remind myself where we came from and what we grew out of. And that’s why we’re going to read some dumb ass, stupid ass stories on todays episode. Really get the blood flowing, you know? These are all submissions and recommendations from a listener of ours Danny, and I hope he hears th...

So, the Devil walks into a bar. No, that isn’t the start to a joke or anything, I’m literally telling you the Devil just walked into the bar. Fine, don’t believe me. But let me tell you, she looks hot as hell. What can I say, a fiery redhead always makes my tongue dry. And what better to whet the whistle than some whiskey. That’ll do the trick. Let’s hear what she has to say, shall we? I hope it’s...

I’VE BEEN AWAY. TO A DISTANT LAND. You might even say, WHEREAMI? No, really, you might say that, cause he is here too. Where? CALIFORNIA, BITCHES. We went to Disneyland cause he’s never been but ALSO we went to Super Nintendo World because that’s over here too. OH, NO, BUT REALLY, the thing that this episode is about - obviously. Look at the title. It was WhereAmI?’s first time going to Halloween...

Quick episode gets quick write-up intro. Tom Bongbadil was in town, I strapped him down to a chair and made him read with me. That’s it. Wanna fight about it? I wouldn’t. We read two no sleep stories this episode, and both are OKAY. Nothing ground breaking, nothing amazing, but fun to read nonetheless. OH, and the episode begins with a nostalgic breakdown of a game we play where we basically LARP....

What can I say about Not Hot But Spicy forums that hasn’t been said in this episode or any of the other 7 episodes? Nothing. That’s right, NOTHING. If you’ve gotten this far, you know what we’re all about and I’m not gonna pretend like you don’t. Well, I am, in the episode itself I am, yes, but for this short description and time-stamp list, I’m gonna be a cock and say that you’re fine, everything...

You ever get released from your really strict and kinda crazy mental asylum just to go to another mental asylum that isn’t as bad? Me too. I have feelings about this ending. They’re not good feelings. They’re feelings I usually associate with bowel movements. You wanna talk OWLS? Nah, me neither. They’re weird and boring and like to throw up. I mean, yeah, they’re cool but WHO cares. Bit of an owl...

You ever get blamed for a murder you didn’t commit and get institutionalized because you plead insanity instead of going to jail? Yeah, me neither. I wonder where we’re going to go from here. Who can tell what is real and what is not, especially when that was kinda the point of the first ‘part’ of this series. Mineral Wells lingers as much as the CRAZY WATER does, so what even are expectations. “W...

You ever get stopped by the cops and have no idea what’s going on despite having just fled a murder scene and know you’re completely innocent and that ghosts are to blame? Yeah, me either. Deputy Dewey stopped me on the way home today and said he wanted to check my trunk for some bones and I thought it was a euphemism for anal and let’s just get to the point here: I was wrong. He was really tellin...

How do YOU feel about fossils, folks? I feel pretty good about them, myself. They’re bones, I’m bones, so we’re all bones. I get that. I feel good about that, like I said. I also feel pretty good about the stories we read on this episode. Yeah, we get off track as per the usual, but we read some really great stuff today and I’m excited to see what everyone thinks about it. Sleep Paralysis is incre...

Lets get back to what made this show so special in the first place. Let’s pick random stories from a huge list and have no expectations about what we’re getting into and how the title may or may not hit its mark. What? No, that’s not what we always do, even with some of our series! That’s impossible. That could never be the truth. We can’t possibly, also, talk for like an hour before reading any o...

Is this going to be better or more exciting than the other part? No, not really. I’m just laying it all out there that we totally didn’t know what we were getting into and that’s why it’s so disappointing now that we’re on the other side. This is probably even the same author from the first part revisiting his same story/ARG years later and trying to blow it all back up to get things going again....

What can I say about this next series with WhereAmi? That already hasn’t been said on some of his other episodes… We’re easily excitable. We over-exaggerate. We use hyperbole a bunch. We’re eager. We get into the hype. And that… honestly, promotes a set up for disappointment. And that disappointment usually comes in the form of #wasdemons. Yes, folks, we have another #wasdemons two part story with...

New season, new talent. What can I say? We gotta keep the train rolling and we gotta keep picking up passengers and sharing the load. Fucking fat load, you know what I’m saying. Fucking HUGE load for Lotsa Pasta, right? RIGHT. So who better to spread that load than a married couple. First married couple on the show? That’s cute. And you know one of them already, Midnight Bride was introduced with...

What better way to break up a massive sausage fest with a bunch of hunky boys than by calling in our favorite resident soul sucking temptress from the deep: Cannibal Siren. I know it probably only seems like a single episode between our last reading of STORIES TO READ ALONE AT NIGHT but I was excited after talking to Mark over at One-Page-Wonder(the author of all Stories to Read Alone at Night) an...

WELCOME TO THE THUNDER-DOME, FUCKERS. I mean, uh, scratch that, uh, welcome to the… square? Right, that’s what this is called? Yeah. The SQUARE. Not the cube, we didn’t have time for that. That’s too much. I’m lazy. We needed something that did less. Thus, the Square. If you’ve seen the cube, you get the gist. We wake up. We don’t know where we are. We’re in new clothes, our things taken from us,...

What an episode awaits us today, in this new year. The first of its kind, an interview of sorts, we welcome an AUTHOR to join us at the table of tomfuckery. MARK! AKA One Page Wonder AKA Stories to Read Alone at Night author joins us for a brief chat and story today, and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out. What a guy, to sit there and deal with Cannibal Siren and I as we both gush and cr...

Oh, cum all ye faithful. Cum right here and now, please. Come listen to this week’s Christmas episode. YES, another one of these. And I incorrectly thought it was our tenth - it’s actually our ninth, BIG DEAL. And guess who’s back for another Christmas episode? Tenron Otrin! Yes, for his second Christmas episode! Nice. Oh, and Frowns McBooHoo is here too, I guess. Nothing new and exciting there. T...

Aliens. What more do I need to say. They are a wonder to us humans, as there is no definable evidence out there that we are alone or otherwise. That’s why we, here on Lotsa Pasta, like to get stoned and talk about it - because there is no wrong answer. You can never be too calm or too crazy when talking about aliens. Got a personal experience, let’s hear it. Had a dream about being anally probed,...