Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

Today's guests Myron and Jenny would probably say that they had a pretty blessed life before August 2015. They had both grown up in the church. They had two amazing sons, Caleb and Jacob, who they brought up in the faith as well. In fact, on the night their boys got in their car accident, the whole family had volunteered at a church event. Caleb and Jacob had driven separately and stayed a bit lon...

Today's guest, Krysten's oldest son, Ty, loved being in nature. Having recently graduated from high school in California, he had planned to go out to Colorado to enjoy the mountains and hike before enlisting in the Navy. Then the unthinkable happened. On September 2, 2019, Ty went on one of his frequent hiking trips with friends and died when he fell in a freak accident.  Krysten and her family we...

When Elizabeth found out she was pregnant with twins, she was overjoyed. Then Elizabeth and her husband learned one of their babies had significant birth defects. They had a life-changing decision to make. They could carry one healthy baby and sacrifice the second or try to carry both babies risking the health of both. In an instant, they decided Elizabeth would carry both twins and trust God to c...

If Brooke was asked to describe her daughter, Libby, in one word, she selected 'Joy'. Even as a baby, she was always happy. Her favorite phrase was, 'This is the best day ever!' The most amazing thing about Libby, however, was that she truly wanted everyone around her to have 'the best day ever as well' and she spent her time making sure that it was the best that she could make it. When 10-year-ol...

When I first heard from a listener about today's guest, Patti, the email included an attachment which was a copy of the obituary that Patti wrote for her late son, Nick after he took his life almost three years ago. To say that it was powerful would be a vast understatement. It was beyond powerful. In fact, I feel like it is something that each and every parent should read. Her words about Nick's...

When I noticed that a podcast release day fell on Groundhog Day and it would be on a day when I would be recording with Gwen, I knew what the topic had to be. To me, grief feels a lot like the movie, Groundhog Day which was released 30 years ago. In the movie, Bill Murray gets trapped in a time loop where he needs to relive Groundhog Day each day with the same events happening over and over. Grief...

Shortly after Michelle and I finished recording today's interview, Michelle wrote back to me saying that she didn't feel like she shared much hope. She had wanted to be inspirational to other bereaved parents when sharing her grief journey after losing her two sons Xavier and Aidan in a tragic car accident but thought that she had been anything but inspiring. In my opinion, Michelle couldn't be mo...

Imagine for just a second back to being a 14-year-old. You are likely transitioning to high school, worrying about puberty, and probably a little self-absorbed. Imagine now that you have been in cancer treatment for almost four years and that you just found out that there was nothing more that the doctors could really do. You would continue treatments, but a full cure likely wasn't possible anymor...

Siblings share a special bond. Oftentimes older siblings can't remember a time without their younger brother or sister, and younger siblings have certainly never known life without the older ones in it. They may fight or have habits that annoy each other, but deep down, most love each other. And, if you are really lucky, your brother or sister may even end up being your very best friend. That was...

When I think of retirement, I often think of people moving to Florida or perhaps helping out by spending extra time caring for grandchildren. However, that is not how today's guest, Jim, spends his retirement. When Jim retired, he started working part-time at a local funeral home helping newly bereaved parents navigate through the worst time of their lives. When Jim's 16-year-old daughter. Kaitlyn...

It has been less than 5 months since Brittany's sweet 12-year-old daughter, Madyson, died unexpectedly from myocarditis, but Brittany has already become an inspiration to other bereaved moms. In the days and weeks after Madyson's death, Brittany felt devastated and alone. She stayed in bed all day. She struggled to even be able to eat. She asked God why He hadn't taken her with her daughter. Britt...

When Gwen and I were deciding what to name this week's episode, Gwen's title was 'Taking a Pause Before the Claus comes to Town: Last minute tips to survive the holiday.' I chuckled at the title's length and changed it to 'Last Minute Christmas Tips.' It turned out, however, Gwen was right, maybe not about the length of the title, but about needing to put the word 'pause' into the title. This turn...

Today's guest, Arava, reminded me of something that I think all of us know instinctually. Each person's life is really made up of a collection of stories. When we think about any person whom we know and love and want to describe that person to someone else, we start telling stories about them. We don't just say, 'my son was kind or my son was funny.' We tell a story that shows their caring nature...

Faith and grief are often hard for many people to feel at the same time, especially when people are from a Christian background. Christians grow up learning that God has a plan for the world and that God's Plan is inherently good. We are taught that challenges are placed into our lives in order to help our faith and build us into better people. After the death of a child, those statements that we...

Meeting today's guest, Lisa, for the first time on Zoom felt like meeting an old friend. When I was thinking about what to write for this episode, the word that first came into my mind was 'community.' That's what Lisa creates - she creates connections between people and a sense of community. Now, that certainly isn't what Lisa thought would happen when her daughter, Katie was killed in a car acci...

I have often heard people being encouraged to be 'thankful givers.' It is supposed to inspire us to either give with a thankful heart or be thankful for a giving heart or something along those lines. When we are grieving, however, there is a new almost unimaginable challenge. Now, we are asked to be thankful with a grieving heart or grieve with a thankful heart. How is that even possible? On this...

Our kids should be here. It is simply wrong that they are gone before us. It just is. Nothing that we do or say can make sense of the senseless tragedy of the deaths of our children. When Stef's 16-year-old son, Alex, died suddenly by suicide, her world was shattered. Their community was in shock. They were 'The Kummer Family' - the family who had everything together. They were a family that inspi...

Today's guest, Melo, knows that her life changed in a moment 11 years ago when her infant daughter, Chloe, died. With that death, her life was split in two - the time before Chloe and her new life 'After Chloe'. After Chloe died, Melo really threw herself into being her mother's full-time caregiver, but after she died as well, she found herself in the depths of grief.   Melo was in a deep, dark pi...

Those of you who follow me on Instagram and Facebook know that I have been posting video clips of my interviews over the past several months. I usually pick out three or four short highlights that I think others might appreciate. This week was so difficult for me because I kept finding clip after clip that I wanted to share. On my initial listen, I come up with no fewer than seven clips that I som...

When I was in the deepest, darkest pit of grief, it was almost impossible for me to think about taking care of myself physically. If you are struggling in this area, today's guest is perfect for you to hear. She is focused on performing self-care every single day. She says that she cannot even imagine going a day without doing some sort of physical activity to help both her mind and body. Lynda's...

During the COVID-19 pandemic, we all heard it said that everyone was grieving something. Millions of people worldwide lost loved ones to disease certainly, but many talked about grieving the loss of jobs, vacations, time with friends, graduations, and even things like the prom. They were all placed in this big bucket of 'things we lost' during the pandemic and reasons that we were all grieving in...

For a minute, I want you to picture that we are traveling along our grief journey on a large tricycle with three equal-sized wheels. These three wheels represent our emotional self, our physical self, and our spiritual self. During grief, some people make the mistake of focusing on only one of the wheels when all are equally important.   Non-grieving Christians often put pressure on the grieving p...

When today's guest, Jane, reminded me of the great children's story, 'We're Going on a Bear Hunt' by Michael Rosen, it made me smile. It is a wonderful book that has been made into a nursery rhyme that I loved to do with my kids. If you remember the rhyme, it starts with clapping and giving a call and response, 'We're going on a bear hunt. Going to catch a big one. I'm not scared.' Then as the sto...

Jenny's son, Sam, was a kid who lived in the moment. He loved life, and he enjoyed every second of it. Even as he was dying from a brain tumor, Sam continued to love life and live big. As others approached the family with apprehension or avoided them entirely, Sam still smiled and jumped and played. Even when he couldn't jump and play anymore, he still enjoyed lying on his mother's lap, and just s...

Four years into my grief journey, I continue to witness how people grieve in vastly different ways. As grieving parents, you might think the grief would look much the same, but it does not. There may be some underlying similarities, but from the outside, it can look as different as night and day. Today's guest, Laurie, had worked as a therapist for many years before her son, Adam, died from an acc...