It’s OK That You’re Not OK with Megan Devine

We’re on break, creating all new episodes for season 3. In the meantime, here’s one of our favorite episodes from the past year. See you soon.   Everybody knows the stages of grief. Even if you didn’t go to grad school, I bet you can rattle them off. Thing is - those stages don’t help anyone: not the pros trying to support patients or clients, not the person trying to survive an impossible situati...

In this final episode of season two, we answer the central question from episode one : is there any hope? Okay, well we don’t answer it. But we do review what we’ve learned. Turns out, everyone has an opinion about hope - from the creative to the bleak to the functional. Maybe one of these versions speaks to you.   Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&amp...

Can you make space for the whole truth in your life? The whole truth *of* your life? This week, best-selling author Alex Elle talks about the post-partum period after the launch of her newest book, and how her healing is intertwined with hearing the truth - the whole truth - about her own life.    In this episode we cover:    Why one of Alex’s friends told her she stop hoarding her stories How own...

A bonus episode (and a re-release) for Valentine’s week - the love story at the core of the best-selling book, It’s OK that You’re Not OK, this podcast, and all of Megan’s work. This episode is unlike our normal weekly show. Tune in, and let us know if you’d like more occasional bonus episodes. Resources:  This essay first appeared in a slightly different form on Modern Loss Get in touch:    Want...

The world can feel like such a lonely place sometimes. You ever feel like there’s not enough love and support to go around? Like, there’s a severe shortage of compassion in the world, both for you and well, everyone? Me too, friends. To get us into this topic, this week on Here After with Megan Devine, we cover grief comparisons, like whether divorce and death should be compared, or the death of a...

What do we lose when we’re not allowed to be angry?    In a lot of ways, anger is more taboo than grief. They’re deeply related, as you’ll hear in this two-part episode: both grief and anger are considered “negative” emotions, things you shouldn’t feel, and definitely shouldn’t express in polite company. But what if reclaiming our anger was the way to build the world - and the relationships - we m...

What do we lose when we’re not allowed to be angry?    In a lot of ways, anger is more taboo than grief. They’re deeply related, as you’ll hear in this two-part episode: both grief and anger are considered “negative” emotions, things you shouldn’t feel, and definitely shouldn’t express in polite company. But what if reclaiming our anger was the way to build the world - and the relationships - we m...

Dr. Errol Pierre is a corporate executive, leader, mentor, and outspoken advocate for healthcare equity in the US and Haiti. HIs new book, The Way Up , helps underrepresented individuals from all ethnic backgrounds achieve their professional goals and elevate their careers in today's workplace.    What you probably don’t know is that grief - in one form or another - plays a part in every one of th...

Amy Choi and Rebecca Lehrer are used to exploring complexities. As hosts of the podcast The Mash-up Americans, they cover all sorts of complex intersections of identity and culture. In this episode of Here After, they join me to talk about Mashup Americans’ newest series, Grief, Collected.    In this episode we cover:    Amy’s brilliant grief avoidance/childbirth analogy & what we need in orde...

Have you ever wanted to just SMASH things? Leanne Pedante and her husband Miles’ relationship was built on bravery and communication - they worked so hard to reach the next step together, excited to explore the edges of possibility in love and in life. On his way back to see Leanne after several months away, Miles’ car veered off the road, and he was killed. In the just under two years since, Lean...

Is acceptance overrated? What happens when you have to face a new year without your person in it (or without the health you used to have!)?  In this special two-part episode, we face the new year together - with a re-release of my conversation with historian, author, and queen of awkward conversations, Kate Bowler.    In this episode:  How do you have hope for the year to come when right now maybe...

The end of the year is always a flurry of resolutions and “next year will be even better!” sentiments. If your life has been anything but awesome lately, a “new year, new start” can feel impossible. In this special two part episode, we face the new year together - with a re-release of my conversation with historian, author, and queen of awkward conversations, Kate Bowler.    In this part one of th...

My dad used to read ‘‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” every Christmas Eve when I was a kid, after dinner and before we opened our Christmas pjs.    So many of you are missing your dads, or grandparents, or the father of your kids. This year, I asked my dad to record the Christmas Eve classic for the show. I wanted you to have a stand-in grandpa, in case you were missing one of your own.    From m...

Ever wonder what doctors say about their patients when they think no one can hear? Dr. Rana Awdish doesn’t have to wonder - as a patient, she overheard a lot of distressing things. Her experience led her to change how medical providers speak about - and to - their patients, spreading compassion through communication (which we know is a mission dear to my heart). Listen in to hear Dr. Awdish’s take...

It’s been ten years since the massacre at Sandy Hook elementary where 20 children and 6 adults were murdered in an act of public gun violence. While we’ve got your attention in this flurry of ten year anniversary media reports, Sandy Hook parent survivor Nelba Márquez-Greene wants you to know what survival really looks like.    This is a re-release of the first episode of season two. On this week’...

The rags to riches success story is everywhere - usually with a side of trauma somewhere: the homeless child with mental health issues overcomes all the odds to win an Ivy league scholarship. After graduation, they continue to “rise above” their past by joining the world’s most famous tech company. If they can do it, anyone can.    It’s a story we hear over and over again. But what if those transf...

Dog search team expert Cat Warren’s current work focuses on historical research, specifically: searching for abandoned or hidden burial grounds. This fascinating branch of search work combines history, racism, grief, and social reckoning.    In this episode we cover:  How dogs let us talk about historical acts of violence in ways that seem impossible otherwise Are there bones in the highway you’re...

You’ve probably seen it - dramatizations of search dogs, running through the woods, noses to the ground, looking for a missing person, or for human remains. We’ve got a weird fascination with this stuff in the media, but when it’s real life - well, if it’s your loved one those search dogs are looking for, it’s a whole different story. What’s it like being the human half of a cadaver search dog tea...

If you’ve been worried about bad things happening to the people you love, is it possible that an actual bad thing might bring temporary relief? Obviously, the answer is “no not really,” but in this conversation with author Mary Laura Philpott, we explore the weird complexity of the anxious (and loving) mind, and the hoops we jump through to ensure our own survival. Mary Laura’s latest book, Bomb S...

Look, life is weird and difficult. Social situations are hard to navigate. The world is too loud or too scratchy. You’re too loud or too bright or just “too much.” And then, a new diagnosis helps you understand all that friction in a new way. It doesn’t magically make things better, but it does make things…. Different.    On today’s Here After with Megan Devine, Lauren Ober joins us to talk about...

If you look at social media with its reliance on meme-based psychology, you’d think that the Buddhist approach to life is to not let things get to you - that the true spiritual path helps you rise above such limited, unenlightened human feelings like grief, greed, and resentment. Zen teacher Koshin Paley Ellison is here to tell you that your suffering deserves your attention.  In this episode we c...

On the outside, veteran Jason Kander had everything going for him: successful political career, lovely family, the respect of his peers. But on the inside, he was struggling: nightmares, depression and suicidal thoughts were constant companions. Jason joins us to talk about his new book, Invisible Storm, and what it really takes to go from post traumatic stress to post traumatic growth. (don’t let...

What’s happening in Iran and why are you hearing about it so much?  This week on Here After, Iranian-American actor & writer Nazanin Nour on the protests unfolding in Iran, grief in the Iranian global community, and how the whole world has the power to fight for women, life, and freedom. This episode is so special - I need you to listen.    In this episode we cover:  What’s happening in Iran a...

Nobody likes to talk about pet loss… but everybody wants to talk about pet loss. What a difficult scenario that is! Veterinary oncologist Dr. Renee Alsarraf joins us to talk about grief, professionalism, and the importance of being human - on the job and off.    In this episode we cover:    The whole truth about loving - and losing - your pets The terrible advice Dr. Renee Alsarraf’s grad school t...

NYT best-selling author Emily X.R. Pan had a problem: she wanted to write about her grandmother’s complex and fascinating life in 1920s Taiwan, but the task seemed too overwhelming. A deeply personal experience of grief gave her new insight into not only the novel-in-progress, but her family’s experience of loss as it was passed down through her family line. The novel became The Astonishing Color...