It's Not That Deep

In this episode, we explore the complex nature of letting go of the past, the importance of boundaries, trust, and self-compassion. We talk about the difference between forgiving and forgetting. This can be a tricky one as we think that we ‘ought’ to just let go of things. And sometimes that is not in our best interests. We explore whether and when it’s ok to put in boundaries...

In this episode we explore why we often feel responsible for others' feelings, how boundaries influence our relationships, and discusses strategies for healthier communication and self-care, especially during times of change and grief. We can find it hard to stick to our boundaries because we don’t want to upset other people. This can lead us to feeling that our needs don’t count and we can b...

In this episode we welcome a guest, Lou Collins, who shares her insights on how habits and patterns influence our behaviour. Lou helps women in business stop being their own biggest obstacle. With over 15 years of experience in behaviour change, including in substance use, she now works with the women who've done all the courses, know all the strategies, and are still stuck because the proble...

In this episode, we delve into the complex reasons behind our reluctance to tell the truth, from small everyday lies to avoiding pivotal conversations about mortality. We explore how avoidance impacts ourselves and others, the role of shame in our avoidance, and practical ways we can foster honesty in our relationships. We use personal examples to illustrate the impact of not being hones...

In this episode, we welcomed a guest, Sassy Smith, who is the founder of Aphantasia Academy and author of Unseen Minds - A Therapist's Guide to Multisensory Aphantasia and Invisible Cognitive Differences    The episode delves into the fascinating world of cognitive differences, exploring how unique mental experiences like aphantasia, endophasia and SDAM shape our perception of reality. B...

In this, our 100th episode, we explore the very human tendency to desire pleasant experiences and the impact this wanting has on our well-being. It’s natural, of course, to delight in the pleasant, it only becomes a problem when we start to crave for things to be more pleasant and thereby end up increasing our own suffering.  We discuss the impact of trying to push away unpleasant feelin...

In this episode we explore why we hold onto bad moods. We discuss the psychological mechanisms behind it, and practical strategies to let go. We explore the role of thoughts, perceptions of injustice, and the importance of awareness and calming techniques. Takeaways Holding onto a bad mood often stems from perceived injustice or unfairness. Our stress response system complicates quick emotion...

In this episode, we explore the societal obsession with youth and beauty, and challenge the cultural narratives that equate ageing with loss and irrelevance. We discuss how perceptions of ageing influence women’s self-image, societal expectations, and the impacts of social media and media portrayal on how we view ourselves and others. We explore the possibility of appreciating the experiences that...

In this episode, we explore the reasons behind why individuals often believe negative stories about themselves rather than the evidence of their accomplishments. We discuss the impact of societal constructs on self-perception, the dangers of comparison, and the importance of accepting both strengths and weaknesses. The chat emphasises the role of vulnerability in self-acceptance and the need to ch...

In this episode, we explore how much enjoyment we miss if we are only focused on the end product. It is so important to focus on the process rather than the end result in various aspects of life as there is so much pleasure to be got from the journey! We discuss how mindfulness and engagement in activities can enhance enjoyment and fulfilment, emphasising the need to be present and savou...

In this episode, we delve into the complexities of communication, particularly focusing on why people often fail to express their true thoughts and feelings. We explore various reasons for this behaviour, such as the fear of upsetting others or the desire to be liked. Our conversation highlights the tension between honesty and kindness, emphasizing that while it’s important to be truthful, it’s eq...

In this episode, we explore the tendency we all have to perceive situations in black and white terms, often overlooking the nuanced middle ground. This is a natural process, our brains are hard-wired to keep us safe and a part of that is to categorise things as safe or unsafe.  We discuss how this thinking can lead to unrealistic expectations, particularly in relationships and personal e...

In this episode, we explore the complexities of feeling grown up, whether we feel different than we did when we were younger, the impact of our inner child, and the cultural perceptions of ageing, particularly for women.   We discuss the challenges of defining ourselves beyond societal labels, the responsibilities of adulthood, and the generational differences in perceptions of growing u...

In this conversation, we explore the theme of why we often believe our way of thinking is superior to others'. We discuss everyday examples of perceived efficiency, the comfort of familiarity, and the challenges of accepting different perspectives. We are always changing, evolving our beliefs, thoughts and the way in which we do things and engage with the world and other people. And can we allow t...

In this episode we explored why it seems so much easier to find a solution to other peoples problems that it is our own. We discuss the importance of self-compassion and mindfulness and getting a bigger picture perspective, particularly in challenging situations. We reflected on the tendency we have to hold ourselves to a much higher standard than we do for others, that we are less likely to show...

In this episode we explore why we view some emotions as negative. It is natural to categorise our feelings as good or bad; wrong or right. The negative ones we experience feel unpleasant and so we have a tendency to push them away. We consider the importance of facing these emotions and starting to see them as unpleasant rather than bad or negative. All our feelings are data or informati...

In this episode, we explore the reasons behind why individuals replay past events and the patterns of behaviour that emerge from these experiences. We discuss the impact of fixed identities, sedimented beliefs, the weight of regret and shame, and the importance of self-compassion in navigating these feelings. The conversation emphasises the need for understanding our decision-making processes and...

In this episode, we explore the importance of investing in friendships, the challenges of nurturing them as life changes, and the vital role of communication and vulnerability in maintaining connections. It can be easy to let connections slide as life gets busy, however we often regret the loss of friendships when this happens. We emphasise the need for balance between self-care and social en...

In this episode, we explore the guilt we feel when taking breaks, and the cultural obsession with busyness. We discuss how modern technology and societal expectations have blurred the lines between work and personal time, leading to a constant state of doing.  We discuss the importance of recognising the need for rest, nourishing activities, and the impact of these on mental health and p...

In this episode, we delve into what it really means to feel ‘ready’. We talk about our own experiences of not being ready to act, and what was holding us back. We explore how things like perfectionism, nerves and putting things off can hold us back, and why waiting for the ‘perfect moment’ often just keeps us stuck.   Along the way, we touch on relationships, decision-making, and wh...

In this episode we discuss that there are two types of ‘fixing’. There’s the wanting to fix ourselves because we believe we are ‘broken’ or ‘damaged’ and the wanting to change the way in which we meet a particular situation in order to manage ourselves in a more helpful manner. If we can move away from the idea that we need to be fixed, and turn more to the idea that other ways of engaging with ou...

In this episode we discuss feeling responsible for other people's feelings. Often that means that we can find it hard to stick to our boundaries because we don’t want to upset other people. This can then lead us to feeling that our needs don’t count and we can become frustrated, sad or even angry. Of course we don’t like to upset others, however we are all responsible for how we respond to si...

In this episode we discuss the pros and cons of having labels. They can help us to understand ourselves, and to find people who are like us. They can also separate us from others, lead us to judge and be judged for our opinions. This episode became something we weren’t expecting! We ended up debating the consequences of aligning ourselves too closely to our opinions, the labels we u...

In this episode we explore some of the reasons we might avoid conflict; for example, childhood experiences or relationship issues. We also explore the feelings that might come when thinking about disagreeing with someone, a fear of not being liked, a lack of safety, anxiety, a fear of feeling under attack for our opinions. We also share our personal experiences; one of us was conflict-avoidan...

This episode was all about the fear of missing out. We explored the very human desire to be a part of everything, do everything and be fully involved with everything!  We discussed how we can explore our feelings about being not part of something, to make sense of them in the current context, and to be aware of any old patterns that might be impacting on our experience of this current FO...