It's My Pleasure

I was talking with a woman the other day and she told me she has had an amazing sex life before. She has felt sexually alive in her body. She also told me that for a variety of reasons, she just doesn’t feel like that person anymore. She feels disconnected from her past-self, but she knows that it can be better again. This conversation is an example of what I’m calling the “pedestal effect”, putti...

I was talking with a woman the other day and she told me she has had an amazing sex life before. She has felt sexually alive in her body. She also told me that for a variety of reasons, she just doesn’t feel like that person anymore. She feels disconnected from her past-self, but she knows that it can be better again. This conversation is an example of what I’m calling the “pedestal effect”, putti...

In this episode, I wanted to share with you the six skills to practice for better sex. This is the foundation for the work I do with my clients, and they are the key to unlocking pleasure, pleasurable sex, and for being a pleasured woman. With these skills, you will be able to connect with your body, give yourself grace, and make incremental changes so that over time, your sex, and your life, keep...

A common misconception that the reason we’re not having orgasmic sex is because of our partner, or our children, or something else that is standing in the way. So many women truly feel that if things were different in their relationships, then they would be able to have better sex and it would be more attainable for them. In this episode, I explore some of these excuses and share with you why it’s...

I recently wrapped up the first of my group coaching programs, Better Sex in 90 Days, and I want to start this episode by sharing feedback from one of the participants who said that she embarked on this journey because she saw how important it was for her husband. Now, after completing the program, she says that it is her favorite gift she’s ever given to herself. In the beginning, she was curious...

Have you ever withheld sex as a punishment or have used it as a reward for “good behavior”? I was on a call with a client recently and we were talking about this idea of withholding or rewarding with sex, and it made me think of a time in the early years of my very own marriage when I would tell my husband that if he did certain things, that he would be rewarded with sex. I remember one argument i...

Let’s discuss the patriarchy and how it impacts our ability to experience pleasure in our bodies, starting from a young age, and sticking with us throughout our entire lives. The reason I’m talking about the patriarchy on a sex podcast is that the way we are socialized as women is going to greatly impact the way that we are able to show up in our bodies and experience sex and pleasure. When we hav...

Across the last two episodes, we’ve been discussing motivation and desire when it comes to sex, how they’re different, and how they interact with each other in order for you to have more pleasure. So often the terms “desire” and “arousal” are used interchangeably, but they really are not the same. Desire is the eagerness and wanting to have sex, and arousal is the physiological response to sexual...

If you’ve been listening to this podcast, you’ll know that your thoughts create your feelings. This episode is a continuation of the conversation we started last week about motivation and desire, and how those play a role over the course of a long-term monogamous relationship, which may result in a lack of desire for sex. Last week I shared the difference between motivation and desire, the cultura...

One of the most common things I hear from women is about how their desire has diminished throughout the course of their long-term, monogamous relationships, and that it may have even stopped altogether. For most of us, we have been brought up with a cultural narrative of the importance of securing that long-term relationship. And one of the ways in which we secure this relationship with our “perso...

Brig Johnson is a fellow life coaching colleague and friend of mine. She is an amazing representation of a woman who fully celebrates her body, and I wanted to have her on the show today to share about her recent journey of doing a boudoir photoshot in honor of her 55th birthday. Brig is such an inspiration, and I am excited to have her in my world because I feel like I have permission to shine br...

When we start to do this work, it starts with little tweaks that we do to think differently, to have a different perspective, and to unlearn our behaviors. But really, when you look at the bigger picture, what you’re doing is changing your personality. Who we are and how we show up in the world is a collection of different things: things we’ve learned, the thoughts we have, the beliefs that we hav...

For today’s topic, I wanted to talk about the idea of pleasure. It came to mind when I was working with my group program, Better Sex in 90 Days, and I was recently asked what I meant when I said pleasure, and how the women in that program know if they are experiencing pleasure or not. We’re told what pleasure should feel like or what pleasure looks like, and we don’t often think about what it mean...

I want to start by discussing the current events that are taking place in response to Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd, and the thousands of other Black lives that have been unjustly taken. It has been very clear to me why this movement of Black Lives Matter is so important. With what is going on right now, I want to start by saying to my Black friends, listeners, and colleagues; I...

Today I wanted to share five practical things you can practice to have better sex. If you want to get better at anything, it requires practice, and the same thing applies to sex. And it’s important that we practice these things outside of sex so that it becomes more of a default in the moment, and you can really feel and enjoy the pleasure of having sex. Carve out time in your every day life to re...

We are going to talk today about this idea of not being sexual, and what that even means. Women often say to me, “I’m just not that sexual”, and it seems like an innocent thing, but I want to unpack why this sneaky thought is negatively affecting your ability to become more sexual. We’re all here because we want to have better sex, and believing you aren’t sexual is holding you back from the sex y...

In this episode I share with you another interview with my beloved clients, Jamee. I just love hearing her paint the picture of what it looks like to be a vibrant woman who’s alive in her body. She shares with you just how she went from rejecting her body, for a number of reasons, to now being able to relish in the pleasure of it. She wanted to make choices from a place of love, and now she can be...

I interviewed one of my clients, Deise, and in this interview, you’re going to hear exactly what doing this work looks like from the inside. In our conversation, she is open and honest about her experience starting from the first time we got on the phone, what motivated her to start this journey, the fear about moving through the good girl identity she grew up with, to now being completely transfo...

We are on part 3 of our series based on a recent masterclass I did called 3 Steps to Mindblowing Sex. These steps are essential for being able to uplevel your sex life, no matter where you’re starting at. Two episodes back we covered Step 1, have sex. We talked about why so many of us aren’t having sex and how to recommit to that action so that you can start showing up for the right reasons. In St...

I know that this episode is coming out earlier than expected, but I wanted to go ahead and record and release all 3 parts of the series all in a row. I know that right now a lot of you are at home, and I want to help you have better sex in your quarantine with your partners. This series is based on a masterclass I did that was called, How to Have Mindblowing Sex. In the last episode, I went over S...

Last week I did a masterclass called “3 Simple Steps to Mindblowing Sex”. The reason I wanted to do this is that there’s a lot of information, and definitely misinformation, out there, and it can be confusing to even know where to begin when it comes to having better sex. These are the three foundational steps. If you’re not having the kind of sex you’d like to be having, it all comes down to one...

Despite all of the things happening in the world, there is still pleasure and the ability to listen in and learn how to get more pleasure. Obviously, we are in unique times in the world. So I really want to take this time to talk about how and what can we do to bring pleasure into our life if sex is off the table. Just because sex isn’t an option, we have to make sure that we aren’t disconnecting...

It is a crazy time in our world right now, and I thought it was really important for me to get on and do this podcast. I think it is so easy for our brains to put sex on the back burner, especially when we’re experiencing something as life-altering as a pandemic. It is so important for us to remember in times like these is that pain is inevitable, suffering is optional, is that pleasure is essenti...

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to work with me? Have you listened to the podcast and thought about the kind of transformation you could experience if you hired a sex coach? In this episode, I bring on one of my clients, Lindsay Dotzlaf, to discuss her experience of working with me, and the changes she’s gone through since hiring me to work with. I have many clients who come to me even when...

How easy would it be if we could all get a manual that showed us how to have great sex every time? This is essentially what Cosmo magazine has been doing since the start! I get asked my top tips and tricks for how to have better sex all the time. My response to these questions is that each one of us is wired very differently for pleasure. If I could give you a better sex life, I would! The main re...