It's My Pleasure

It’s easy to blame the “big” culprits for our lack of desire or intimate pleasure - things like crazy schedules, hormones, a partner who is being an a-hole. But what about the little things? The way that you are behaving that is unconsciously depleting you and cutting you off from your body? This week we talk about the yes’s that are having a direct negative impact on your body, your desire and yo...

For high achieving women, especially leaders, pleasure and rest tends to be seen as irrelevant to the important work and impact they are creating in the world. On this week’s episode, former client and leadership coach, Emily Feairs shares why we’ve got it all backwards. Emily is The Feminist Leadership Coach. She has spent years as a leader in politics and knows from experience how overwhelm and...

Mismatched desire is one of the main sources of frustrations and tension in sexual relationships. However most of us might label the different levels of desire as ‘mismatched’ when in fact that isn’t what is going on - which is exactly what we talked about in last week’s episode 152. But what do you do if you have determined that it is in fact mismatched desire you are experiencing? Well tune in t...

Mismatched desire is one of the main sources of frustrations and tension in sexual relationships. Mismatched desire is the term used when one person may want more than the other. This is the most common thing I clients will bring to me, however with further investigation most women will realize that there isn’t actually a problem with mismatched desire at all. This week I want you to understand wh...

Lets do something different in 2023, let’s embark on the actual PRACTICE of pleasure. Without the shame, without the guilt, with out the feeling that we are doing something selfish. When pleasure is your AIM, when it becomes the goal everything in your life changes. In this episode learn why practicing more pleasure this next year is a worthy endeavor and how it can impact all the other goals you...

I talk to loads of women every single week about increasing our desire - that wanting, that longing. You want to WANT it more and  I get it, it can be jarring going a time in your relationship when looking forward to intimacy with your partner seemed effortless to wondering how the hell you were going to get yourself in the mood. And despite the fact that we talk about other ways to create that de...

Let’s make this the most pleasurable holiday - filled with gifts that will actually LIGHT you up. Have you ever wanted to buy something for the holidays to add to your pleasure, your intimacy or feeling more turned on? Then look no further! Whether you want some fun and creative experience ideas or a few toys from your own ‘naughty’ list this episode will cover it all. I have also included a shopp...

Look we don’t need to kid ourselves that the holidays are NOT a busy time of the year. The month of December brings on different things that will fill up your calendar - traditions, social gatherings, volunteering, baking, gift buying etc.  Prioritizing pleasure is tricky in REGULAR time, let alone during the holidays - especially because we are socialized to put everyone else’s needs and feeling...

Being too tired is one of the main reasons that I hear women dismissing an invitation for intimacy or putting off pleasure for another day - when they think they might have more energy. And I get it, I too have experience lots of tired nights when sex is the last thing my mind says I want. But in this episode I want to offer you a very radical perspective . . .  what if being tired is the exact re...

I was being interviewed awhile back by the producer for Red Table Talk (a story for another time) and she asked, “so what do you think is the main reason women aren’t having much sex or it isn’t that good” and without hesitation I answered . . . Because we are tired. And this was in March 1, 2020 - before the pandemic hit - before we had experienced the level of fatigue most of us our experiencing...

Women. Life. Freedom - What does that mean to you? Today we talk to Mahsa Darabi, Iranian immigrant, mother, business owner, inspirational powerhouse and one of my favorite humans in the whole world. Mahsa speaks candidly about what it has been like living as an Iranian-American woman watching the protests happening in Iran as women fight for their rights against a violent regime. We discuss the i...

YOU already have self-awareness. You already are conscious of many of the thoughts that are getting in the way of you having more pleasure, you notice how you feel in your body when it is a “yes” or a “no”, you understand what your current sex life is like and where you ware wanting it to go. But did you know there is so much more to self-awareness? That there are multiple layers of our awareness...

Have you ever thought “Ugh I just don’t feel sexy” or something along those lines and it has kept you from getting it on?! Yup, me too. I think we all have before. Not feeling good in our bodies or feeling confident about our bodies is a complete desire killer. But it doesn’t have to be, in fact the reason this even shows up is because of the way we learned about sex and what we taught about our b...

Have you wanted to improve your sex life and just noticed that you honestly don’t have that much desire FOR it? So you get stuck, like how am I actually supposed to make this better if I can’t even get in the mood to start with? Wanting sex, not feeling tired for it or not being in the mood seem to be the main hindrances for most women in having a more pleasurable sex life. Like I want to really w...

Wanting to do something to change your sex life is an AMAZING first step, but often times it isn’t enough to actually get us taking the action to shake things up. Desire is part of the equation, but our desire is often times enough to overcome some of the unconscious fears and doubts that we ALL have. In this episode I share some real client stories as well as some of my deeply personal fears I ha...

Are you afraid you are taking to long to get aroused and orgasm? Listen, if so, you are so not alone. This is one of the most common worries among women when it comes to their sexual ‘performance’ is how long things are taking and how to move things along. In this episode you will learn if you are in fact taking too long and if so how to move things along to the orgasmic outcome you are hoping for...

Have you ever decided you really want to have something in your life or have your life look differently than it does right now, but then wonder why it doesn’t happen the way you imagined? Well this episode is for you - where I will explain to you the concept of being proactive in creating what you want and specifically why it is crucial we learn how to be proactive with our pleasure if we want to...

Hey have you ever had a great time, like legit good sex, but then afterwards you started second-guess it? You start being judgey about what went down and ruin the celebratory sex you had because all the sudden your brain convinces you that it wasn’t actually that good for x, y or z reasons?? Kind of like the walk of shame. It felt good, your body loved it and YET your brain wants to de-legitimize...

It is easy to imagine yourself basking in juicy sensual pleasure when you have the time, the space and the connection. But it is a whole other thing when that is NOT what you are currently experiencing. To really experience the pleasure you want isn’t about waiting until the star are aligned, but instead learning HOW to be the kind of woman who experiences being turned on and pleasured - right now...

Listen, sex can be super awkward for a variety of reasons - first of all - it is two naked bodies trying to entangle in a pleasurable way - awkward. Not to mention the different personality types, desires and skill & comfort levels when it comes to sexual intimacy. So if you have ever felt awkward, consider yourself to BE awkward or know that trying certain things would ring in the awkward bell -...

We come to the sheets with so many ’sorries’ as women and it is time we put an end to it, enter Unapologetic Sex. Have you ever notice there is this subtle, slump of the shoulders and dumpy energy that you can bring to the bedroom sometimes. Like “oh I am sorry its taking me so long to cum” if you orgasm at all. Or ugh, I am sorry I am so wish-washy, awkward or I don’t know what I want. It feels i...

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder and it is true, it really does - plus it gives a good ole’ boost to that desire for your lover. But perhaps, like me, you don’t always have the option to be away from your partner. In this episode we will explore four important lessons that we can learn from what distance offers us and exactly how it increases desire. And then what are some things we c...

I am always up for a little mind trick hack, one that is easy to remember in the moment and helps me move forward on my long-term goals and aspirations. And ‘maybe’ my friends is just the mindset hack you have all been wanting. Quick and easy to remember and a simple habit you can implement right now. Use maybe to experience more pleasure, open up to curiosity or simply to set some much needed bou...

Have you ever noticed how nature can immediately help you feel more at ease? Or even for me, I have had experiences where it feels like my pain and discomfort are lifted the moment I immerse myself in nature. I don’t think anyone would argue how energizing and calming being in nature can feel. But is it just in our minds or is there science to support it? In this weeks episode not only do we dive...

We’ve all had it, bad sex. And it is something that we all try to avoid? But at what cost?!? Trying to avoid bad sex could actually be holding you back from the mind-blowing sex you ARE wanting to have. In this week’s episode we explore what tends to happen when the boot knocking isn’t lighting anyone up and how we can actually learn and improve our sex lives by the willingness to have more bad se...