It’s Both — Living in the Messy Middle

The messy middle of leaving a fear-based religion isn't just about changing what you believe — it's about starting over when the fear itself was the foundation everything was built on. Thomas Edmonds grew up in fear-based youth group culture. He joins Nikki P to talk about what it's like to realize the religion that raised you was built on control, not connection — and what starting over looks lik...

Career and motherhood both matter—so why does it still feel impossible to know if you're doing it "right"? This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of decision making when you're carrying ambition, guilt, and the anxiety of major life changes. About the gap between the working mom you want to be and the one you fear you're becoming—that space of transition anxiety where every choic...

Crisis support: If you're thinking about suicide, in crisis, or need to talk, call or text 988 (U.S.) or visit the 988 Lifeline. Grief doesn't follow a straight line—and it doesn't cancel out joy. This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of grief and the transition anxiety of major life changes after profound loss. About the gap between who you were before loss and who you're becom...

What if you love your friends but can't find the energy to show up? This is a conversation about adult friendship, burnout, and navigating the messy middle of life transitions when maintaining friendships feels impossible. About the transition anxiety of being a bad friend when you're already drowning and the major life changes in how you prioritize relationships. For anyone who wants connection b...

The messy middle of motherhood often looks invisible — managing everything, carrying everyone, and quietly running out of yourself, while the world asks why you're not fine. Nikki P goes solo to name what burnout really is in the context of motherhood and the mental load: not a personal failure, but a capacity problem. She talks about how overthinking fuels burnout, why awareness alone increases o...

EPISODE 9: "Modern Masculinity & Emotional Regulation" Guest: Devon Neisen REVISED DESCRIPTION: Modern masculinity needs emotional regulation—but most men were never taught how to build it. This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of identity shifts around what masculinity means. About the transition anxiety of being asked to change without being given the tools and the major l...

What happens when your marriage, identity, and faith all fall apart at the same time? This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of major life changes when everything unravels at once. About the transition anxiety of watching your entire foundation crack and not knowing what's left. For anyone whose life transitions aren't happening one at a time—they're colliding. Therapist and educ...

What if the invisible labor isn't just exhausting—it's making you spiral? This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of the mental load, overthinking, and the anxiety of major life changes in how you parent. About managing everything while your brain won't stop running through lists. That transition anxiety between the parent you thought you'd be and the one drowning in invisible lab...

The messy middle of body image isn't loving your body or hating it — it's the quieter, harder ground of body neutrality, and most of us were never taught it was an option. Therapist Heather Lefebvre joins Nikki to talk about why body neutrality is more realistic than body positivity, and why the goal might not be to love your body — but to stop going to war with it. They talk about the complicated...

What happens when joy and grief exist at the same time? When relief and anxiety, love and loss, confidence and doubt all show up together? This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of divorce, parenting, and identity shifts—and what it really means to hold two truths at once. About the transition anxiety of major life changes when nothing feels clear. For anyone moving through a tra...

Have you ever felt torn between joy and sorrow, success and failure, or love and loss? Life is a beautiful contradiction, and in this season of "It's Both," host Nikki P. takes you on an enlightening journey that dives deep into the complexities of life's contradictions through authentic storytelling. Nikki emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and embracing the multifaceted nature of human e...