It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

Have you wondered if you are high conflict? If you have, you’re not alone. Many people contact us with a concern that they might be high conflict after learning the 4 key characteristics of the high conflict pattern: unmanaged emotions extreme behaviors all-or-nothing thinking blaming others Bill and Megan will discuss: whether you can tell if you have high conflict patterns what you can do if you...

As we know, change is hard for everyone, but if you’ve had a high conflict individual in your life, you know that change for them is seemingly impossible. Our minds tell us that they’re doing it on purpose or at least partially so; and that they can change if they’d just choose that route. But is that a reality? If we start with the premise that people with high conflict personalities don’t even k...

This Q &A Lab focuses on two questions about possible paranoid personality behaviors and high conflict behaviors, including: Combative, Aggressive, Violent, Blaming 19-year-old Son The parent of 19-year-old with combative, aggressive, violent behaviors (including spitting on his parent) and demands that the parent admit abusing him as a young child. Bill and Megan will discuss: What can this p...

In 2021, we noticed a new book that was gaining a lot of attention—titled High Conflict . Of course a book with that title grabbed our immediate attention and piqued our curiosity, as high conflict is what we think about all day every day. After reaching out to the author, Amanda Ripley, we were quickly intrigued by her research and perspective and have since spent time getting to know each other’...

To tell or not to tell. That is a question on the minds of many who deal with high conflict situations. In a court situation, is it is a good idea to tell the judge that the other person is high conflict or has a personality disorder, whether diagnosed or suspected? The same goes in the workplace. Should HR be told? And the same question applies in any setting, such as the education environment, i...

Throughout the pandemic, which we’ve now been in for a little over two years, the fight has been “on” in the education world. Education – especially public education – has always been at the crossroads of many social and cultural changes, from bussing students across town, to benchmark academic standards for school funding, to which books are approved for teaching classes. Then with Covid, the con...

Parents divorcing in protracted battles. Crowded family court dockets. Kids who spend their childhood with nervous stomachs, anxiety, and a yearning for their parents to just get along. A typical high-conflict divorce and co-parenting situation. Most parents are able to work things out amicably but around 15-20% comprise the cases on the family court dockets. They are seemingly unable to resolve d...

High conflict divorce is one the hardest trials one can go through. It’s so hard on parents and on their children. If you’ve ever wanted to know what it looks like from the inside, from someone who has been through it and come out the other side with good outcomes, listen to this episode featuring Bill and Megan’s guest, Shannon Jenkins from the podcast Starting Over with Shannon. After hearing a...

The legal case between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp has been heard around the world. It’s a case rife with allegations of domestic violence on both sides, which will be challenging for the jury to make a decision. In this episode Bill and Megan discuss the case and why it is important to focus on the big picture rather than being persuaded by a single picture or an isolated story. They will discuss...

Workplace conflict is on the increase. According to a 2021 survey, 89% of employees from a diverse range of industries reported experiencing conflict at work, consuming 3.5 hours/week on average. Finding employees is challenging, making a calm workplace imperative if competitive advantage is to be gained. When incivility and bullies or other high conflict people are in the workplace, the impact go...

It’s time for the Q&A Lab again! In this episode, Bill and Megan answer listener questions on several topics, including: dealing with high conflict family members who accuse you of not living up to their expectations. Should hurtful comments be ignored? Should EAR Statements be used? similarities and differences of ADHD and personality disorders can ADHD co-exist with a high conflict personali...

Family members (and friends) of someone who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder (or BPD) are typically mystified about how to interact with them, walk on eggshells around them, and generally feel overwhelmed and defeated because they don’t know what to do. In this episode, Bill and Megan continue their discussion with BPD expert Amanda Smith, LCSW, founder of HopeforBPD.com. Amanda is a h...

People throw around the term Borderline Personality Disorder (or BPD), but most likely don’t even know what it is, and many have no idea how to handle it, whether within themselves or with a family member. Relationships and interactions are somewhat of a mystery to those around them, and even to themselves. People with BPD often feel like the black sheep of the family, but once you have an underst...

The slap heard around the world. Obviously this was a high conflict situation, but was it a one-off incident resulting from a highly stressed person, aka Will Smith? Or two highly stressed people, Smith and comedian Chris Rock? Or did either of them show signs of a potential high conflict personality? In this episode, Bill and Megan break it down. What could have been happening just before Will wa...

Continuing from the previous episode, Bill and Megan take a listener question about a high conflict situation in the workplace. Specifically, what do you do when actual high conflict people in management turn the “Bill Eddy” skills around and use them with others who are not high conflict. Megan and Bill explain how their new Conflict Influencer™ Certification program can help in situations like t...

High conflict situations in the workplace are increasing as workers return to the office. Global anxiety is higher than normal, and for those who may have a high conflict personality, the conflict may become even more unrestrained. In this episode, Megan and Bill introduce a new initiative undertaken by the High Conflict Institute to help organizations and companies deal with high conflict situati...

A diagnosis of bi-polar disorder can be both devastating and liberating. Although such a diagnosis is unsettling because of the lifetime implications, it can also be a relief to have an answer and hope for a calmer future. In this episode, Bill and Megan are joined by Dr. Jay Lieberman, a retired surgeon in the podiatry field who was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder later in life than most — at ag...

Putin hasn’t stopped, as we predicted, and it doesn’t look like he’s going to stop. Is that because he’s backed into a corner? Because he’s trying to save face? Or because his malignant narcissism (yes, that means his narcissism grows over time) won’t allow him to stop? Bill and Megan continue their discussion about what has become one of the worst disasters not only in modern times but in all rec...

Putin’s attack on Ukraine. Why is he doing it? What drives him to act with such ferocity to destroy a county, innocent civilians, children? In this episode, Bill and Megan discuss whether Putin is a malignant narcissist, what that means, and whether his future actions can be predicted with this knowledge. To get insight into this personality type and how it manifests in Putin’s framework, listen i...

In this episode, Bill and Megan discuss the use of EAR Statements to calm current conflicts experienced by people across the globe. Anger, accusations, and opinions flying everywhere. People having conversations that most would have not engaged in a few years ago but now seem to be unable to stop themselves. Megan starts off with a recent example from the show ‘Sister Wives’ about the need for the...

If you are curious about love and romance with challenging – or even toxic – partners, this is your opportunity to hear questions from our listeners and Bill’s and Megan’s answers. In this episode, they answer questions about: partners who make life hell for awhile and then can be okay and very loving for awhile extreme jealousy and whether it’s okay to allow partners to read your private texts an...

Watch Those Blind Spots! The very qualities that help us fall in love can at the same time be the on-ramp for the highway to hell. Avoiding a high-conflict relationship requires looking beyond attraction, chemistry, availability & compatibility, and recognizing your own particular blind spots. Bill and Megan talk about three types of ‘blind spot’ fact-finding and how to understand how your vul...

In the first episode of this Dating Radar four-part series, Megan and Bill discuss how people with high conflict personalities (HCPs) can destroy your life. In this episode, listen in as they discuss how HCPs jam your radar. We’d all like to think we’re wise to it, but there are several factors that make us susceptible, which Megan and Bill discuss. They delve into a Dating Radar survey with over...

There are people you shouldn’t marry, have children with, or have a financial entanglement – people with high conflict personalities. They blame, gaslight, lie, deny, make false allegations, and some will seek to destroy you or your reputation. These are relationship destroyers – the people who can ruin your life and make you wish you’d never had children with them. So why do we get involved with...

The challenge of being emotional creatures Did you know that emotions are contagious? We like to think we are in complete control of our emotions, but lots of research shows that emotions are contagious and it’s how we handle our own emotions once we’re emotionally hooked. In this episode we’ll break down emotion contagion. If you’re a brain nerd like us, or you simply want to have a better unders...