It's All My Fault

Finding heroines in the most unlikely places. Like in the pile of people I was mocking just seven episoides ago. Seriously? Seriously. Such a knucklehead can I be... late4werk.agin Episode 31 of 53

It's a bit more than all over the place. If I'm being honest. But it's thorough. It's definitely got mass behind it...so grade it accordingly. late4werk.agin Episode 30 of 53

Do you ever get that feeling that you aren't being recognized for the multitude of ways you continue making the world a better place for the rest of us? I feel that with you... boy do I ever. Like every day lately. I'm not blaming any of you for this. In fact, I hope to correct it ... well, somewhat ...for you. Really. I do. I mean it. late4werk.agin Epidode 29 53

How's your intuition? A bit irrational lately...unreliable even? Perhaps your recent experiences have instilled some doubt regarding how much you can trust yourself... if you're anything like me. I'm told that your rational self and the scientific method can solve your conundrum of unknowinglessness. Or can it? Oh why, o y, is there so much effort involved in the pursuit of knowledge? Isn't there...

What do I truly know? Absolute-truthiness-fundamentals? How will I even recognize meaning and purpose if I can't know anything with confidence? I dunno... truly. I don't know. Do you? Really... you do? Really??? late4werk.agin Episode 27 of 53

Back to work clearing out my inbox. And what do you know, I'm actually early today. Wate. Wut? late4werk.agin Episode 26 of 53

The mystical wonder that is mother earth comes full circle in this cropped-together rambling of what, I have established, can and cannot be believed within this reality. So it's the usual palaver all the way... as nobody alive might ever say. Ok, ok. I'm ready to pay. And then, of course, I'll be on my way. Yeah, yeah of course I mean today. After I clear my tray, call the valet to prep my sleigh...

This one is all over the place and yet, somehow one of the more focused efforts I've produced thus far. How can this be? Well you know me...I love a good conundrum. Or wait...is that a paradox? Hold on, is there even a difference? Well yeah, of course there' s a difference... Damnit man, back to the point already!!! Okay, okay. I've made my point. late4werk.agin Episode 24 of 53

This one is a stitched-together monster. It's my own making... without a doubt. Definitely all my fault again. If learning the hard way was a virtue... late4werk.agin Episode 23 of 53

Dull. Listless. Vapid. Sluggish. Languid. Uninspired. Punchless... need I continue? late4werk.agin Episode 22 of 53

Ludwig Wittgenstein was the kind of guy that was difficult to maintain a friendship with. In fact, he was probably the kind of guy who didn't even know what kind of a pain in the butt he was like to be around...ya know? Probably... Sound like anybody you know? Why else do you think I claim he's my hero? late4werk.agin Episode 21 of 53

It's time to say I'm sorry, that's not what I meant and if that was taken as such...etc. etc. Join me if you want to hear me course correct the only way I know how....circuitously. late4werk.agin Episode 20 of 53

Trying to sort out the structural framework around work/play concepts is not for everyone. In fact, it might not be for anyone... other than my dog, my cat and myself. And actually the cat was nowhere to be seen on this one so cat scratch her from the list...feverishly even. late4werk.agin Episode 19 of 53

Okay. 3rd time's a charm. Come see how upbeat I am to be starting a new minimum wage job 7 days from now. Where? Oh, nevermind. I don't like to talk about my job... Wate. Wut? late4werk.agin Episode 18 of 53

Trying to hold my composure while talking to the people who served our country in the armed services goes just about like you'd expect. Do I thank them for their service? Well...you decide. late4werk.agin Episode 17 of 53

* Spoiler Alert * for It's All My Fault e0122 I have a very direct, and thus emotionally raw, moment talking about suicidal intent in this one. This is a mental state I have grappled with at various times in life and believe I have finally overcome. This does not mean I have answers. I have my honest experiences to share. Nothing else. The raw pain of that is shown here. I have no idea what else t...

Does the AK-47 keep me awake? Not really...maybe a little. It's more the unanswered questions about my life. Which does not currently include asking about what my place in the universe should be. That part, I got. At least this morning...this moment of this morning...mostly. But this immediate human life experience? That part is so tiresome to try and nail down. late4werk.agin Episode 15 of 53

Trying to maintain value by removing the pressure all those notes were creating is what I've got going on here. Or were those notes my key to structure, relevancy and focus? Nope pressure. Just pressure...self-imposed? Sure. But pressure. Always amirite? late4werk.agin Episode 14 of 53

Listening to some of these is like taking an unexpectedly cold shower. Others are like a "don't-think-about-its-history" cheap motel jacuzzi bubble jet synthetic tub experience. Still others are like sponge bathing in a rural highway gas station restroom with a door that won't lock. And then there are the episodes like this one... um... yeah. The episodes that are like bathing in a where-did-that-...

I've got my Sweet Sixteen "Job Satisfaction Index" bracket and it's all filled out, most of which I remember to talk about in thus recording...mostly. Y tù? UNO momento... Holy guacamole!!! OMGOMGOMG!!!! As I type this, it's NCAA Madness Marching time. Literally. Those games should be happening right now, like now, like right now. Where's my tv...remote... I am stunned that I didn't connect the do...

This episode goes to 11. Or at least the latest hero of mine featured right here ...he is a total 11. And I suppose the squishy-faced delivery I eventually devolve into en route to getting this hero's journey across the finish line...that might get scored an 11 ... or a 12 even. Depending on what country the judges are from... amirite?

Here I admit I'm mentalizing out too many initiatives and motivations for my emotional composure to maintain itself. Unlike prior similar circumstances, in It's All My Fault e0116 , I barely hold on, but I do. Will your fragility expose itself like mine does throughout this entire entry? Of course not, not you. I have total faith in you. Myself? Well cloudy with a high probability for moisture is...

Confessing at the meta level here feels like work, like a job that I'm late showing up for my shift. Certainly moreso than the work involved sharing stories of past idiocy. I mean there's got to be some of that in here... it is still me and me alone just talking away til the end of the day...and unfortunately only me is involved in that fray...until the cat suddenly meows...or the dog jumps in the...

Dreaming about great white sharks ripping my body apart was my residue reward for seeing the movie Jaws way too young...until it wasn't. Wait what? Yeah, and stopping the shark dreams had nothing to do with being a W.A.M. so I had to take care of them without any advantages supporting my fragility. A what..a wam, no wammies? WtF is that? Seriously. Being obtuse is not cool nor mysterious so stop i...

The answer was not 42. It was 73. The question? How many days into this project until the day arrives when I am unable to conjure one single thought worth recording? Yeah, yeah...you may have already handed out that award, I get it. Unfortunately, I'm here today to prove to you that you did so prematurely. late4werk.agin Episode 7 of 53