It's All My Fault

I am in rough (very?) draft form trying to figure out why I do the things I do...so sameol' sameol' really. Is it worth another's time to eavesdrop from afar? If you're into chaos cycles in review as well as experiencing a bit in real time, this could be your thing. But I'm done telling you what you'll find valuable or worthy of pursuit toward a fulfilling life...no.no.no...not this guy. late4werk...

What can I share about episode 111 of It's All My Fault ? Not really sure...even though I just recorded it. And that feels like exactly the type of 'well what exactly were you paying attention to?!?' finish to my day that I deserve. Might I deserve better tomorrow? My Magic 8-ball is not where it's supposed to be... so I guess I'll have to collapse my wave potentialities myself and get back to you...

For me, there wasn't much of a line between believing in myself and thinking I was the only problem that couldn't be fixed. In fact, some of those lines were so fine that I missed them entirely. late4werk.agin Episode 4 of 53

Am I able to make a list of new rules to follow, rules intending to enable the best available life outcomes for myself, and then proceed to abide by said rules for even one 24 hour day without finding a reason in that day to declare these new rules are completely invalid? Well, no, I do not believe I can do that. Because this world, this version of infinite Earth, this one can leave you thinking t...

I'm not sure I mentioned spacetime coordinates ( March 10, 8:02 pm MST ) on this one...I might have, I'm just being thorough. I do not know because I'm uploading my nonsense before relistening to said nonsense. For the first time ever. Why have I not relistened to this one like I have done with every other episode? Too much to do. Until I'm working again I have to be focused with my time. Have you...

You only get one chance to make a third impression. Rising up to take that chance, I present: John shut your mouth, the first episode in V3, late4werk.agin As well as the 107th entry so far in my 2022 project: It's All My Fault Knowing my history for contaminating all types of situations, there should be plenty of opportunity to decontaminate the processes and preparation methods I'm utilizing. So...

I never like finishing up a project, for too many reasons to list here...so many in fact that it took almost two hours of final thoughts to sew up all the loose threads. Well, coming correct on some of the not-so-flattering elements I found strewn about the 27+ hours of confession are a big chunk of it too, so not all that time is spent wandering aimlessly. The final act in this the final chapter...

Finishing projects is not my spesh-ee-al-itee. Come see the angst for yourself; it's on full display. I just ask that you try your best to be kind, understand I'm doing what I can to not waste your time and forgive me for all the opportunities in which I fail to maximize my brand. Okay, you don't have to forgive me for that... first part. C.Wut. Ahapnd. Wuz Episode 52 of 53

Asking you to go down this rabbit hole feels so wrong that I tell you to rethink that exact decision half-way through the process. If that still tempts you to hit play/download, well, know that I did my best to keep this short but things got out of hand. Obviously. C.Wut. Ahapnd. Wuz Episode 51 of 53

I don't mean to impose on your time again here my imaginary listener friend, but it isn't often that I have all the preparatory work for a meeting ready to go and then proceed to stumblebumble my way through 45 minutes of unintended intro-chitter-chatter resulting in a complete postponement of that scheduled analysis and summary of said detailed revision materials until the next time the red butto...

This is a tough listen thanks to self-inflicted audio issues that I thought I was beyond, but no...oh so very much noooo. Can you still be kind about these errors at this point?? Included you'll find two similar (but different in ways that matter) "DUI" recording efforts and a quick intro explaining what's what, which were stitched together in reverse chronological order making the final segment i...

This is a recording from Christmas Eve 2021. Now seems the appropriate time to revisit an earlier attempt in this process that ultimately revealed I wasn't quite ready. C.Wut. Ahapnd. Wuz Episode 48 of 53

Storytelling minds unite! Or at least tell me your best story since I am such a fan of the medium I keep talking only to myself here. Wait what? C.Wut. Ahapnd. Wuz Episode 47 of 53

Suffering the mental journey I keep insisting on sharing is not mandatory. Well for me it is...but definitely not for you. D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y. C.Wut. Ahapnd. Wuz Episode 46 of 53

98 bottles of beer on the wall 98 bottles of beer...wait a sec..?!? Who took a bottle of beer off my wall? C.Wut. Ahapnd. Wuz Episode 45 of 53

Short form gives way to long form, again. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously. It's getting out of hand, again. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously. and...should I... Seriously? Seriously? Seriously. Okay I quit. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously. Giggity. C.Wut. Ahapnd. Wuz Episode 44 of 53

These are the moments I am glad to have captured. They validate everything I had hoped for at this point and I'm forever better because of this project. C.Wut. Ahapnd. Wuz Episode 43 of 53

Do I sense influential forces outside myself? I would be lying if I said "no" but reading them isn't easy. I can't help feeling that if I don't start aligning myself per their orientation, the next time I lose direction won't be corrected so gently. C.Wut. Ahapnd. Wuz Episode 42 of 53

Why are online independent content creators my heroes? If that's a serious question, I invite you to listen kindly, with a forgiving instinct and an understanding mindset when I say there's a long road ahead of you, but it's a road worth travelling. C.Wut. Ahapnd. Wuz Episode 41 of 53

Reviewing my recent recordings had me thinking I finally might be getting the hang of all this. These 83 minutes...not so much. C.Wut. Ahapnd. Wuz Episode 40 of 53

I really don't want to admit how hard it is to keep my stitches together these days but the evidence, as they say, is mounting. For example, the episode herein. The NYT might call it " A drizzly flea market bazaar excursion that ends with you realizing you locked your keys in the car. " - 3 out of 4 Stars C.Wut. Ahapnd. Wuz Episode 39 of 53

How distant from organized religion have I been throughout life? Answers to that and other questions you don't care about await you now, here, in this recorded diary. I mean...if you have nothing better to do...seriously. You probably do...but it's your call so I'll just leave you to it. C.Wut. Ahapnd. Wuz Episode 38 of 53

Hi-ho-hi-ho no job for me to go d-d dum dum dum d-d dum dum dum hi-ho hi-ho-hi-ho. C.Wut. Ahapnd. Wuz Episode 37 of 53

Measured, balanced, self-assured, cautious...sober I think. I may have been a bit of these in my past, but never have I been the total package all in one spacetime reality. I had no idea I was even capable of that. C.Wut. Ahapnd. Wuz Episode 36 of 53

There is a limit to the abuse one can endure. Today that limit was realized. C.Wut. Ahapnd. Wuz Episode 35 of 53