Intentional Living with Tanya Hale

Sometimes, even when we have apologized, even when we've changed our behavior and truly repented and cleaned up our love, the other person will not forgive us. And that's hard. And that's their agency. We have no idea what their journey entails, why this is such a struggle for them, what has happened in their life to make forgiving us difficult for them, and that's okay. It's not ours to understan...

So many of us struggle to love, but we don't recognize it because we are so focused on our spouse's struggle to love us. We are judging and blaming and accusing them for showing up poorly, when in reality, we are a hot mess of dysfunctional behaviors as well. When we can courage up and take a good, hard look at our own struggle to love, we can begin to create a beautiful space of clean love within...

Love is one of the greatest gifts we have to offer the world and ourselves. Sometimes, though, we start straying into other people's lanes in intrusive ways. We start behaving in ways that overstep our boundaries and dismiss their wants and needs. It's all done from the best of intentions, a desire to help them succeed, to be happy, to not struggle, but it is intruding on their agency to make thei...

Feeling unseen or unsure of your worth in a struggling marriage can be lonely and multiply the challenges you are experiencing. In this episode I share some lessons that, upon reflection, I think are some of the most important for either cleaning up your current marriage or moving on after a divorce. This is a great podcast for you want some guidance, and hope while navigating a difficult relation...

Because we're all humans who see the world from our unique perspective, it is inevitable that we will experience conflict in all of our relationships. As we increase our emotional maturity we are able to lean into these conflicts to create connection rather than contention. But what does it look and sound like? That's what we're talking about on this podcast. I have lots of examples for you to und...

I believe grace is one of the most Christlike ways that we can be loving. When we better understand Christ's Grace for us, when we can accept that Grace into our own lives, and when we can then extend this Grace to others, everything seems to change. We feel more peace and compassion, we develop a stronger sense of self, and we feel more deeply connected to Divinity, ourselves, and others. We can...

Love is an amazing feeling. And it starts with our thoughts. Our ability to show up loving in our relationships begins with having loving thoughts about them. And many of us have gotten into a unfortunate habit of having frustrated, angry, and angsty thoughts about people in our lives. These thoughts eventually lead to behaviors that are less than loving, in fact, they can become contemptuous when...

In The Book of Mormon, Alma teaches that those who want to more fully follow Christ need to be willing to 'mourn with those that mourn'. I believe many of us are good at seeing people who are mourning, our hearts are pricked and we desire to reach out, and often do, and then we get stuck. How do we create a safe space for the other person to mourn and struggle without being dismissive, judgmental,...

'Should' is a sketchy word. Not only does it keep us in a place of limbo, somewhere between doing things and not doing things, it also creates a lot of shame around our lack of focus and momentum. And if there's one thing we know about shame, it's that it will never move us forward into a better version of ourselves. Shame always shuts us down and even creates a downward spiral. Thanks for listeni...

In our home we call it the 'sh' word, because should is a word we like to stay away from. It creates shame and annoyance from unmet expectations and it makes us incredibly judgmental of the person we are 'shoulding', including ourselves. 'Should' doesn't inspire, it doesn't love, it isn't kind, and it doesn't move us forward to our next best version. Learning to extract this word from your thinkin...

In this greatest hits episode, I get a little bit personal when I tell you about an experience I had hurting someone's feelings and what I learned from it.  Basically, that it's all about love.  If I can get my heart to a place of love, everything in my life is better, most importantly, my relationships with others, myself, and my Heavenly Parents.  Love really is the answer if we want greater hap...

Are you enough? With all of your flaws and imperfections, with all of your mistakes and misunderstandings, how can you really be enough? As women, many of us have spent years grappling with this concept of being enough, and very often we come up wanting. We don't feel we are pretty enough, skinny enough, compassionate enough, tough enough, strong enough, vulnerable enough, happy enough, etc. You n...

Until we can understand and honor our own boundaries, we will not be able to create the kind of honest, equal partnerships and connections we desire. Because they are so vital to great relationships, it's important to know exactly what they are and how to set them. Let's dig in, shall we? Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #7 Boundaries Part 1...

Brene Brown teaches that the most compassionate people have the strongest boundaries. This is because when we have clear and strong boundaries, we protect the relationship from resentment and anger and clear the way for compassion. Only when we are honest about what is okay and not okay with us can we create the partnerships that we seek in our most intimate relationship. Thanks for listening!  Wa...

Boundaries are imperative if you are to have strong and healthy relationships. And I know that seems counter-intuitive, but when we don't have good boundaries, we end up swimming in resentment and anger, and that makes it really tough to show up the way we want to, which is generally loving and kind. In this episode we talk about boundary basics, what they are and why they're so important. Thanks...

Many of us are in the habit of resisting things we can't change, and it creates a lot of unhappiness and havoc in our lives. Byron Katie wrote a book entitled, 'Loving What is', and it presents the concept that when we stop resisting reality, we will find so much more peace in our lives. When we learn to focus on our response and choose to behave in ways that are in alignment with our values, we f...

Learning to 'lean into' our relationships can be a challenge because even in good relationships our primitive brain can feel scared and threatened by the vulnerability required. But when we do choose to lean in, we find greater connection and intimacy and partnership. Here are 15 ways that you can lean in with more intention. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out...

Leaning into relationships is the process of choosing the relationship over everything else, including our fears and insecurities. It can feel super scary because it requires vulnerability and openness, and this can mean that we may need to courage up and step into discomfort. Because when things in a relationship get tough, it can be super easy to lean out to protect our point of view, our strugg...

Moving into comparison and judgment is such a normal, human thing to do. And we can learn to harness these tendencies to create more of the kind, loving, compassionate relationships we want. Learning to lean into curiosity is a powerful tool to help us stop one-upping and one-downing in our relationships and learn instead to accept and appreciate others as our equals, creating more genuine, deep,...

We all have rich emotional histories spanning our entire lifetime. And every single day these histories are shaping how we show up in the world, how we respond to other people, and how we interpret things that are said and done. When we can start to reveal the thoughts and ideas that are buried beneath our consciousness, we can address how they are impacting our lives today. Join Cathi Antczak, LC...

Do you ever wonder what the best advice is from mid-life coaches? In this podcast I am chatting with two of my great life coach friends, Brooke Onike and Jane Copier, and we are sharing some of the most impactful tools and concepts that we coach our clients on. I think you'll love this one. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #88 Marriage Mendin...

When we develop charity, everything in our lives gets better. We develop the capacity to treat others with more kindness and grace, and our self-respect increases as we do so. We live more in alignment with our values and create the ability to truly love. As our charity increases, so does our satisfaction, fulfilment, and joy in life. Charity creates in us the ability to honor the agency of others...

Sometimes, even when we're on our best behavior and doing all the things right to stay in our own lane the other person still doesn't do things the way we want them to, and that can be so frustrating and annoying. And, as a human they get to do it that way. Our job at that point is to learn how to honor and respect their agency to make the choice they want to and figure out how to love more cleanl...

Learning how to stay in your own lane can be tricky because so often what we see as being helpful and kind and of service, is actually getting in someone else's lane. In this podcast we're going to look at over 30 examples of what it looks like to get in other peoples' lanes to help us understand more clearly how tricky it can be and become more aware of and see our own tendencies to stray from ou...

In this episode we explore the idea of staying in your own lane—taking responsibility for your own feelings, choices, and boundaries rather than trying to control or fix others. Though it can be easy to want to be 'helpful', when we invade others' responsibilities we risk creating resentment and undermining intimacy. So let's talk about some practical strategies to stop overstepping, set clear bou...