In Sanity: A piece of mind

Despite the important role it plays in relationships, understanding does not have to be imperative in all interactions. Sometimes our need for understanding is connecting and helps move our relationships into more safety and security. Other times, a need to be understood is an example of our inability to hold boundaries. Occasionally our inability to understand is because we aren't doing the work...

What is the difference between hedonia and eudaimonia? What is a happiness set-point? How does my set-point affect my ability to be happy? Can happiness be pursued? Listen to this week's podcast for answers to these questions and more.  The Hedonic Treadmill - Are we Forever Chasing Rainbows? How to measure happiness: hedonia vs. eudaimonia

In a world where the focus on happiness is growing and science is teaching us new things about how to create lasting happiness, it's time to learn what happiness means. The science helps us understand what happy people do differently, and how we can feel happier even when things feel overwhelming. What Happy People Know by Dan Baker The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggli...

According to James Clear, there are three levels of behavior change; the first is changing your outcomes, the second is changing your process, and the third is changing your identity. Perhaps you have habits you want to change regarding your relationships. Listen to this week's podcast to see how these two topics relate to one another. 

Drs. John and Julie Gottman have identified 4 conflict communication styles that, unless addressed, can have dire effects on any relationship. Listen to this week's podcast, identify your styles and do the work of replacing them with their antidotes. I Gottman Four Horsemen The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling Gottman - Small Things Often

The number one thing couples fight about is "nothing." Nothing can feel pretty bad, though. Drs. Julie and John Gottman offer some strategies for managing some of your perpetual conflicts. Additionally, perhaps we could be more open about our imperfect relationships to create a more realistic understanding of what "real" marriages look like. Listen to this week's podcast to open up new understandi...

How many types of relationship conflict are there? Let's talk this week about three specific types of conflict as described by Drs. Julie and John Gottman. In their Gottman Method Couples Therapy, they talk about solvable problems, perpetual problems, and gridlock perpetual problems. Listen to this week's podcast, and I'll give some basic information to get you started on increasing your understan...

Goals are good insofar as they provide direction for change and improvement. However, just having a goal is not likely to be accomplished without a change in the system. The system is how you choose to engage in the work to accomplish the goal. Atomic habits are the small, daily, repeated behaviors that help you engage in the process and achieve your goals. Atomic Habits James Clear   

I accidentally published episode 51 on Sunday evening instead of Monday morning. Oops. 

Welcome to 2022. It's time for the obligatory podcast about new year goals/resolutions. Except ... that's not where I am going to spend my time. James Clear wrote a book called "Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones" . I'm going to share some personal experiences with goal setting, new year resolutions, successes, failures and how I figured out why I was...

Being a child can be hard. Being an adult can be hard, and being an adult child can feel like you are always trying to find out who you are, what you want to be, and how you want to engage in your world separate and apart from your family of origin. Listen to today's podcast to learn some ways to engage in setting boundaries with your parents. Values, compassion, assertive communication, and appre...

What type of parent are you? What are your values? It is useful to have some answers to these questions as you listen to this podcast about parents and parenting boundaries. There are a lot of ways to navigate how you stay in your circle while your kids stay in theirs. 

Taking a break from boundaries to talk about Christmas traditions. About 12 years ago, we started "Christmas Service Letters" as a gift from the kids to mom and dad. This is a podcast about that. 

Are you struggling with the words to use to set boundaries, reinforce expectations or reach out for help? Listen to this week's podcast to hear me talk about appropriate ways to communicate and discuss important topics. I will also run through a dozen or so different scenarios that can be generalized to just about any boundary setting experience.  I Statements   Soft Start-Up

Are you a boundary keeper? Or maybe you are a boundary violator. Do you take more than you give, or give more than you take? This week's podcast is very much focused on introspection. What kind of person are you? This is a critical question to explore in the context of your relationships and how you want to experience life. I share a little bit about my boundary style, and how I see boundaries pla...

Join me for the first episode in some kind of series about boundaries. Based on your input through Instagram, I am hopeful I can be specific in answering questions and truly helping you all sort through this complex issue. It's hard for all of us - don't be discouraged. I'll help you work through all the nuances. Also, see below for the resource material I am using.  Therapist Aid Positive Ps...

I'm taking the week off. See you next Monday. 

Greater Good Science Center offers a whole lot of data on the benefits of gratitude. In a 2018 paper titled "The Science of Gratitude," they outline the following benefits of a gratitude practice: increased happiness and positive mood, more satisfaction with life, less materialistic, less likely to experience burnout, better physical health, better sleep, less fatigue, lower levels of cellular inf...

We all have things we want to change. They might be pretty big aspirations and perhaps we are working on them. Or maybe changing big things seems too overwhelming. I get it. What if a few areas could be improved by doing one thing that requires almost ZERO effort. That is what today's podcast is about. Very often big changes can be made by little moves here and there. Listen this week to see if th...

Stress shows up in our minds, in our bodies, and in our behaviors. We feel stress when we perceive a lack of stability between the work we have to do and the time or resources we have to get things done. Stress management is creating techniques or strategies to deal more effectively with stress. Knowing the different types of stressors, understanding how they show up and your triggers, allows you...

Generally, the words "feeling" and "emotion" are used interchangeably, but there are distinct differences between them. It is important to know the difference because it can change how we react to our emotions and feelings, how we model these experiences, and how we behave. Listen to this week's podcast to understand what is going on inside of you, and how you can become more mindfully aware of th...

Resilience is something we can all develop, whether we want to grow as individuals, as a family, or as a society. Listen to today's podcast and take a short quiz to see how resilient you are. Then keep listening to find out to increase your resilience. It will be worth your time, I promise.  Also, follow me @in_sanitypodcast for additional information and content related to each week's podcas...

This week, my son Christian joins me to talk about resilience and kids. He's a great resource, not only for his personal experience with resilience in playing sports, including college baseball but also because he has worked with kids for the past several years in different behavioral health settings. He has a lot of great insights that are well worth the listen.  Check out the show notes for...

I've got some ideas about resilience that I want to address in the next few podcasts. You will certainly learn things, and have some fun with more of my kids - at least that's the plan. Resilience is an important trait that improves happiness and life satisfaction. The good news is that it can be cultivated and developed. 

Is criticism hard for you to take? Can the people in your life offer you feedback? Do you get defensive and criticize back? What are your limitations in taking criticism? Listen to this week's podcast to see how you can better prepare yourself to take criticism and respond more positively to feedback. Think of it as a gift and gain some resilience by applying the 10 strategies outlined in today's...